Accepting Diagnosis from Doctor (Men's Health, maybe TMI) really need reasurance

[Sanque]

Okay, so I'm currently "over" my oral cancer scare at the moment, because I noticed a 'lesion' on my...well...my penis. I went to my primary care doctor about it and she said it didn't look like anything bad, but to go to a derm and get their opinion (this freaked me out). Well, I visited the derm this morning and it was a female (great, and she was attractive too, i hate that heh), and she had one look at it and said "oh im not worried about this" -- she called it something like fornyce granules, or something like that. im trying not to google it, though i really want to. she also mentioned that you can get them in your mouth too, and i do have them in my mouth now that i think about it. i asked her point blank if she was positive because im a health anxiety freak and she said thats def. what it was and showed me a picture of it in a book. this person had it on their mouth, but it looked exactly the same. its barely noticeable to be honest, but im a freak, so of course i noticed it.

of course now i have to accept the diagnosis. im also now freaked out because my primary care doctor had me stop taking the Bactrim I was taking for my throat because it was tearing up my insides and she was worried about me developing C.Div (DONT GOOGLE IT). Anyhow, I know that use of anti-biotics can cause yeast infections, so im like freaking out that i have a yeast infection down there. my throat and mouth seem to be free of any white spots or lesions that would imply yeast infection, but ever since i found these fornyce granules (i know im spelling this wrong), i feel very itchy and i think im even "imagining" pain in my groin area. i had none of this until i found this area on my penis.

i hate this cycle. i thought for abotu 10 minutes after my appointment that i had relief from EVERYTHING for once. i wasnt worried, i was even happy. then my brain started finding things and i know im over-reacting, but i cant seem to accept this benign diagnosis for one, and also now im freaking out about C.Div as well as having a yeast infection.

i simply cant go to a doctor again for this crap. i cant. im missing too much work now. its just ridiculous. i also havent mentioned it i dont think, but my therapist told me last week she couldnt see me anymore because i was too much for her to handle and she didnt have enough experience to help me. go figure. i thought i was making progress with her. i have another appointment with a CBT Therapist tomorrow night, different place all together, so we'll see how that goes.

please, for the love of god, some kind words of re-assurance would be so helpful right now. ive had two doctors STARE at my manhood and not mention anything remotely close to seeing a yeast infection. thats got to mean something, right? maybe ill just eat a huge tub of yogurt tonight.

[ms anxiety]

this is the problem with health anxiety. its a never ending cycle. yday i got the all clear for oral cancer but now im worried about throat cancer bc i had this stupid lump in my throat feeling for a week now.

at some point we need to accept its just the anxiety. i think its important not to run to the doctor all the time. i think that it makes it worse. i just havent figured out how to do this myself.

i REALLY think you are fine.

[Sanque]

haha,

and i REALLY think you are fine too. it's funny how it's easy from the outside to say that, but when it's personal, forget about it.

the lump in your throat is def. anxiety. it's like the #1 symptom of anxiety. sometimes SSRIs can even make it worse. i bet if you focussed on it really hard, it would get worse and worse and worse. meaning its all in your head.

we will survive, ms anxiety. yes, we will :-)

[epiphone15]

Are you talking about a very small bump that's flesh colored? And maybe its even several bumps, some smaller, some bigger, that cover a little patch? I'm pretty sure I know what you and your derm are talking about. And yes it's completely normal and a lot of guys have them. they're completely benign. There's a lot of stuff on our groin area that seems "abnormal" but are totally commonplace. Relax, it's totally nothing, plus the doctor said so.

[Sanque]

yea i have those kind of all over down there, and if you squeeze some white-ish stuff can come out, but this patch was smaller, but same type of thing. had me a little paranoid, but she was 100% positive of what she saw being that fornyce granule or whatever. im trying so hard not to google this >.> dunno how long i can hold on for, ahhhh.

i know its normal, at least i want to believe what the derm told me, ya know? i just keep giving myself psychosomatic symptoms. itching, burning, etc. all things that didnt exist until i noticed this area.