Life is so Hard.

[firebird3428]

Don't you hate how Health anxiety has taken over your life. It's so draining and it actually spiritually hurts you know? It hurts down in the core and everything upsets me now a days. The first therapist I went to said that I have depression and that's one reason why I developed Health Anxiety. I just wish this would end and I would be happy because I have so many dreams and visions for my future that I really want to achieve. I'm 19 years old and sometimes I feel like everything is going to end before I had the chance to experience anything.

Lately I've been freaking out over ovarian cancer, bone cancer, and oral cancer. I just don't know what to do anymore, I don't want to talk to a therapist because the first one didn't help me, and I'm just tired.

Just a quick question do you think I should worry about this, I've had this small white bump in my cheek and it doesn't hurt. It's just sitting there and it hasn't gotten bigger but I've had it over a week, I'm really scared about it, I got my wisdom teeth out a month ago and the spot wasn't there, I don't know what to do.

[Allochka]

Are you trying some medicaton for your anxiety? It really helps to start the healing process.

And regarding bump - if it wasn't there a month ago, you shouldn't be scared. As my doctor told me, "oral cancer just doesn't pop up one day, it grows slowly and gradually". So don't worry.

[firebird3428]

No I"m not because my doctor didn't want me to take any medication. He didn't tell me why but he said that best thing for me would be to get CBT therapy. I sort of want to take medication because my anxiety has gotten out of hand but I don't want a quick fix and then relapse you know?

[JER2911]

Hi Firebird,

CBT therapy is good, for now, you could take a medication in addition to the CBT therapy.  Then, as you learn to apply the things you learn in therapy to your everyday living, you can slowly begin to get off medication and control your anxiety without it...but, you need something to kind of get you leveled out right now.

[sixpack]

a lot of people think meds are a quick fix... they ARE NOT a quick fix, they are a help, a tool.  You need to be proactive with anxiety disorders.  My suggestion is to see a therapist and then decide if you could use meds to help get the healing started.

[firebird3428]

Thank you for your advice when I go for my physical next month I'll ask my doctor for a good therapist. I'm so tired of all this crap really I can't. I feel like I'm so unbalanced.

[daviezmom]

I know exactly what you mean.  I worry over every single ache and pain.  It is horrible to live life this way, because we aren't really living, ya know?  Last year I was really worried I had ovarian cancer and bone cancer.  I've worried about having pretty much every cancer imaginable.  Needless to say, I had some big doctors bills.  Right now i'm worried about a brain tumor.  When I was a teenager I swore I'd never live to get married or have kids.  Now I'm married with 3 kids, and I'm worried I'll die before they are grown.   My medicine helps a little, but not as much as I'd like.

[Ravens Lady]

Firebird, although I believe that all people with health anxiety can benefit from CBT, some people may really need meds.  I think that health anxiety can originate from different factors, and for some of us, having a predisposition to mood disorders or anxiety and depression may be one of those factors.  It might be one part of the equation for some people to find healing.  (while for others, it may not be as necessary)

At 19, you still have a lot ahead of you, and being young you can begin to start healthy habits right now, including healthy thinking habits.  Don't get stuck in the trap of believing you don't have a future.  That's a health-anxiety lie, that lots of us go through.  Heck, even I thought everything was over at 17 and here I am at 29 and the last decade I got to do lots of great things, but of course I couldn't see that at 17.  What ever dreams and visions you have, continue to follow those!  The thoughts in your head about you not having a future are lies we allow ourselves to believe.  Invest in your dreams and visions and you will find yourself with less energy to worry about the lie-thoughts. 

Life can be hard, yes.  However, the attitude that you choose will affect and influence whether its 'really hard' or 'manageable' or even 'wonderful'. 

Find another therapist.  Sometimes it might take a while to find the right doctor.  My father had to go to a few doctors before he found the right combination of therapy and meds but eventually he found his winning ticket and found ultimate healing and peace.   

[firebird3428]

I have really messed up thoughts and at first I thought they were normal but I now realize that they're really crazy and that I need help from a therapist thank you, seriously you're 100% right. My mom has basically stuck, she doesn't know how else to help me because she doesn't understand what I'm feeling, and it's all a big mess. I just don't want to get addicted to the meds that's the problem, but at the same time I want to get better and stop suffering and having these thoughts. I'll call for a good therapist or something on Monday I want to get better, even though I'm really afraid.

[Ravens Lady]

Well, not all meds are "addictive".  Some kinds you may want to be careful about using long term as they might become addicted, but others, like SSRI's are generally pretty well tolerated.  I've been on them and off them with no problems.  Also, IF you decide to try a med like an SSRI (like zoloft or celexa) you have to take the med for awhile before you feel the full effects.  People begin to feel better within a few weeks but it can take months to feel the optimum from the drug.  (if you should decide to try that route). 

I loved being on zoloft.  The main reason I went off of it is that I couldn't stay on my mother's insurance after college, otherwise I tolerated them well, slept better, and felt over all less anxiety. 

But now I am living med free and using only better choices and thinking strategies and I'm feeling much better.  Even when health concerns might come up, I think I approach them much better. 

[Allochka]

Ravens, it is such a joy to learn about someone's positive  experience in a struggle with HA.  You are one of those who made it!
Firebird, really, consider some meds. sixpack is right, they alone can't help, but they can stabilize your for the start....

[Ravens Lady]

Ravens, it is such a joy to learn about someone's positive  experience in a struggle with HA.  You are one of those who made it!
Firebird, really, consider some meds. sixpack is right, they alone can't help, but they can stabilize your for the start....

Thank you for your encouragement Alla.   I think what I'd like to consider it for myself is as "making it" as this will be a life-long journey and I still constantly have to remind myself of what I've learned, sometimes daily.  I know that if a new issue arises, I might have to get back to basics and that I've in no way "arrived" but I'm hoping that I can always take what I've learned with me into every new challenge. (I've learned a lot from the people at this board!) I'll always be a "work in progress".  I'm trying to balance my new found optimism with a bit of realism.  (and in reality I know that sometimes life throws you curve balls). 

[Allochka]

i agree that it could be a life-long journey, butbfrom your posts I feel that you are already past the turning point and doing much better. I also admire people like you, Florida, peepo, who dealt with their own hardest times, but continue to visit this board to help others....

[marc]

I was told by my dentist to give mouth sores, etc., a month or so to go away on their
own before consulting him, unless the sore gets progressively bigger, bleeds, etc.