ROCD Please help:(

[momof1]

So im a mom of a great lil boy who i adore I have been with my hubby for 5  years now and I am at peace with him if that makes sense he is the only one that i know if yell at and get mad at i know he won't leave or shut me out(my mother does that so does my sister) BUT... I have these horrible thoughts do i love him is this going to last, should i leave him what happens ,if we get divorced allll the time I HATE THEM. every time i get these thought the urge to harm myself gets so overwhelming and its staring to affect me. i spend my time talking out loud telling myself to stop being dumb and wanting to hit my head so they go away. I afraid I'll start to believe them and make a huge mistake. I am just wanting some reassurance or knowledge that i am not a freak and other people go through this and have a long lasting relationship

[marzz58]

Hi there!

Im sorry to hear of your anxiety and your anxious thoughts!

You are definetly not a freak or alone! You are in good company here! I reckon that you are thinking and overanalysing these thoughts because you are scared of losing him and of being the reason or the person at fault for breaking it up? The fact that you are anxious about it means that you wont do it and/o that you dont want to do it!

Are you seeing a therapist or have you seen your GP or dr? I have found cognitive behavioural therapy to be a lifesaver! it teaches you to look at things differently and how to cope with things in a healthy way, not in a hurtful way! Next time you feel like hurting yourself, come on in the chat room, there's always someone in there and talking to someone about it will help you get through it, it has helped me beyong words!

take care!