Therapist cancalled on me

[basketcase]

Hi All,
  I am at a loss as to what to do. I was to see my therapist yesterday after waiting 6 weeks to get back in to talk with her. I am so mad as I don't drive because of my anxiety and my dear hubby took the day off of work so he could take me. My therapist gave no reason as to why she cancelled on me but now I can't get in to see her for 2 more weeks and I can't wait that long. What good is therapy if I can only get in every 2 months? Anyway, I am having trouble with my grown daughter who has shut me out of her life all due to the fact that I couldnt' get to her house to watch the grandkids while she went to her OB. She had baby #5 on March 13th and that morning she had her doctor's appt. and needed me to babysit. I and my husband had planned on being there but at the last minute, he had a meeting at work he couldn't miss. I told my daughter that we would get there as soon as possible but she told me, "what kind of mother are you if you can't be here for me? I'm having another grandchild for you and its my day!" She went on to tell me I was a selfish bitch and used my anxiety as a cope out. With that I hung the phone up on her, I don't need that kind of abuse. Tomorrow is my grandsons' 3rd birthday but we were told we're not welcome and I haven't seen my newest grandson yet either. What do you all think? I've cried everyday since all this happened. This is my only daughter and I have a son too but he lives in Ohio and I'm in Utah so its been almost 4 yrs since I've seen my son. I feel I haven't any family and I am alone in the world. I don't have parents to turn to, they've been gone for many years now and my 2 brothers are busy with their own lives. We've never been a close family to begin with. Its all very sad 

Valerie

[nicegurll]

Hay,..Im so sorry..... you made me cry,I know since Im only 15 I might not be the first person to come to for advice lol.....But I just wanted to tell you that your also not alone....You see I went almost 12 years without even seeing my dad,2 sisters,and grandparents...I live with my mom and her new husband. My mom left him when I waz only not even 3 at the time so I never even knew what my dad or 2 sisters,grandparents,so on even looked like.Then one day I found my dads Phone # somewhere,so right then I picked up the phone and called him.....now I at least get to see him almost 1 week out of every summer....I really did think I waz gonna die without ever even seeing him ever again....And if this could be any help are family has a saying that dont worry somebody will come back to you later in life....And to me dont worry because she will forgive you and I can tell you that for a fact.....You will get to see your grandson the reason I know that is because my mom was in the same position with my oldest sister.....my oldest sister didnt like the fact that are family broke up for a long time so she didnt talk to my mom for years.Then one day my sister emailed her now they talk all the time now.......~Its all about forgiving~....You always got me to talk to anytime hope things work out for you cause you deserve it! :) Lindsey

[Levi]

 You are NOT selfish. I can tell you that! You are helpful, sweet and caring.  Your daughter is probably overwhelmed with all these children but this is not your responsibility. I just can"t imagine how awful you must feel. This is not fair and you DO NOT deserve this! You can only try your best to make her understand. Thats all you can do. You must understand and accept this is out of your hands. I feel sorry for your daughter as she sounds selfish and self absorbed. Good for you for hanging up! You did nothing wrong! I know your lonely and want things to be different but it's impossible to change someone else. This will pass in time I hope. I would just tell her that you love her and your grandchildren and when she is ready you will be there for her. What else can you do?
   What a letdown not being able to see your therapist. It makes you feel like no one understands the importance and seriousness of how your feeling. Sometimes I know I wish I had cancer or something, then everyone would be bending over backwards with compassion and help. One thing that really helps me is reading some of the Dalai Lama's books. I am not a big reader nor religious but this stuff is really good. I cheered myself last year by adopting this little boy from world vision. When you start to realize the suffering of others I think it makes you stronger and put things into perspective. You know the saying I cried because I had no shoes until I met someone with no feet. This is just stuff that has helped me, I hope I don't sound to nutty, sometimes we just have to find ways to help ourselves. You WILL find your way! 
 Thinking of you and hoping for the best for you, your new friend and cheerleader, Lisa

[basketcase]

Lindsey and Lisa,
   You two girls are so dear and your kind words really meant so much to me. I am so grateful that I found this site and can share with others who truly understand what a struggle it is to have anxiety.
    Lindsey, even though you are only 15, you are more mature than that with reaching out to me and others. And Lisa, you are a special person too. I pray we all can somehow find the answers to our problem and can finally have peace in our lives. I am a religious person, I live in Uath but I'm not of the major religion of this state. I try very hard to lean on God  but I am not perfect so I stumble a lot. Thanks for telling me about reading the Dalai Lamas' books as I know he has many good things to say as to how people should live. I just ordered Dr. Wayne Dyers' book, "Inspiration". and look forward to what he has to say. I saw him on the PBS channel last week and the little I was able to watch was quite good.
     Thanks again girls for caring. May you have a lovely day today. I'm hanging in here, that's all one can do. Trying hard not to be upset today, as its my one grandson's birthday and we won't be sharing it with him; thanks to my daughter's hard heart. I agree, it will come back to her someday. Take care.  :)
     

[basketcase]

Michelle,
   Thank you too for your message. I'd enjoy hearing more about your situation and so feel free to email me or just respond here if that's better.
    Yesterday like I posted earlier was very difficult being my one grandsons birthday and we were'n't allowed to share it. My husband called our daughter in the afternoon just to see how the day was going. It wasn't such a good idea. She was horrible and it almost made my strong husband cry, and it takes a lot to bring him to tears. My daughter seems to think because I couldn't get to her house when she needed me that I have betrayed her. WHy? you ask can she see things that way? Heaven only knows. My husband once again tried to explain to her that we were coming but would be late, about 90 minutes was all. She went off the deep end and I just don't understand her way of thinking. My husband just had to tell her that our relationship is over until she can forgive. Nothing I can do to change how she thinks so I will attempt to live my life without her in it or my grandchildren. Oh, my daughter did tell my husband that he could come visit but without me. My husband told my daughter that we either come together or not at all.
      Thanks once again for all your advice and thoughts. You all are amazing people. And Michelle, I am sorry that your mom has passed on. I lost my mom a little over 4 yrs ago and she suffered so much with depression and anxiety that she could hardly function. How I wish I understood more what she was going through then. I tried hard to help her by visiting but she got so she didn't want to even talk. Now I've become my mom but have such a selfish daughter who refuses to understand. I guess I'm to blame for that since she had things so easy growing up. Oh well 

Valerie 

[Levi]

 Hi,Valerie, I am printing some of this forum and taking it to my doctors. I wonder if your daughter could read all these posts. She might gain some understanding of what alot of people are going through.I think most people after reading this have got to accept that we can't all be nuts. I mean why would anyone make this crap up. It's embarrasing because people don't understand it. If your brave enough let her see all your posts . At least she can see how bad your trying to get help and how much pain your in. Just a suggestion.

  Also I just want to clear something small up about buddism and the dalai Lama. It is not about telling you how to live your life. For me the book to read is not the one which thinks for you, but the one which makes you think. I do respect all religions though, please don't get me wrong.
 
I hope you have a happy day :-)   Get a big hug off your husband today!

[michelle]

Valerie, Does your daughter have a short fuse?  Is she easily aggitated?  I am only asking because I am wondering if she can have some sort of anxiety thing going on also.  I am not trying to make excuses for her, but I was just wondering.  I used to get very easily aggitated and angry really fast.  I had no patience ect.. write back soon.   Michelle