Lifelong anxiety sufferer and newish hypochondriac

[beetroot]

Hello, I am very happy to find these forums. I've dealt with anxiety for about as long as I can remember. A few years ago though I got sick and it became a situation of full blown constant anxiety. I struggle with freaking out over every single physical issue. I found these forum two days ago because I had what I discovered are probably tiny cherry angiomas that popped up all of a sudden, at least a dozen or so. So you can imagine where my thoughts went. I thought it was petichea at first. I found myself laughing at the discussions here though because I could relate SO much and it made me feel so much better to know I'm not alone.

Today I found myself with an achy tender spot in my calf and I immediately start thinking about a blood clot. I'm very much tired of living my life in a state of fear. It's bad enough having all this social anxiety and being afraid of people and life experiences to add in finding yourself constantly afraid of being sick and dying. It all started with a real illness and it probably stems from feeling not listened to and ignored as a teen. But it's just spiraled out of control and I'm happy to find a place where I won't feel alone. My husband is very supportive and understanding. My best friend doesn't get it. She's polite but she doesn't get it. It's very hard to get it having never been there. I could laugh because I know what it's like for every little thing to instigate fear and I can look back and laugh at myself when I'm doing better.

[Cuchculan]

Welcome to the forum. Seems like a bad case of HA you have there. You will find many others like yourself here on the forum. More a case of trying to apply logical thinking to the situation. Which is far easier said than done. In other words ' what is the real chances of you have all these various illnesses '? For a person to have so many illnesses they are either the most unluckiest person alive or it is all in the mind. Just a case of trying to get yourself to believe that is the mind playing tricks on you. It is not easy. But I am sure over time you may learn a lot more and be handle things a lot better. We also have a good chatroom. Worth a visit. Gallery, blogs and a few games. Enough to keep you busy. So enjoy.

[tigerpaw]

I know you will find lots of support here. Let me remind you you can access the Chat Room, after a minimum amount of posts and talk live to some of us here!  A great resource for you.

Also you can post your favorite picture in the Members Gallery.

Check out an introductory post on, "When you think no one understands ....read this."........Link: http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,9100.0.html

Lots to do here~

 

[beetroot]

You are right, Cuchculan. It's very unlikely anyone would be so unlucky. I just have to talk myself down even when I know that it's not logical. Sometimes it's harder than others. I think a lot of my fears stem from that I did have a very unlucky medical history at one point. I just happened to have blood work days before finding out I was pregnant. It was high calcium levels. It turns out I had hyperparathyroidism which is a problem with the parathyroid glands (not related to the thyroid at all). I was only 29. It's extremely rare for someone that age to have it. And the fact that I was pregnant made me a medical mystery almost. There are only a little over a hundred documented cases on medical literature of pregnant women with hyperparathyroidism. And it can kill mom and baby.

So I had to see gobs of specialist and have lots of tests. And then at 12 weeks pregnant I had to undergo general anesthesia to have surgery to remove the bad gland. But they really blew it in the beginning of the surgery with inadequate ultrasound equipment so I was left laying on the OR table for an hour thinking my baby was dead. It was horrible and I was really traumatized. Thankfully she was not in fact dead. But it ended up an awful pregnancy even more later on where I was on full bedrest in the hospital for a month before an induction. I really think having such a freak medical occurrence like that is very much a trigger of my fears.

So take someone who is already prone to hypochondria and it's just pushed me over the edge.