PHONE-A-PHOBIA

[thorn26]

I have an embarrassing phobia of calling people on the phone... it's ruining my life. I've been offered a job, but she's asked me to ring her to discuss details... I can't bring myself to do it, but I'm absolutely desperate for this job! I can't tell my mum or anyone else about this because I'm so embarrassed... I know if someone told me that they were afraid of talking on the phone then I would just tell them to man the 0100 up! I can't even describe the feeling when I am made to call someone, but I work myself up so much over it and sometimes even cry about it... I know it's so pathetic, but I really really really can't help it, even after talking myself through it, it just doesn't work. I don't even know what i'm scared of. I'm 17 and I'm quite a reserved person, but usually have no problem with talking to people face to face, although I will admit that I struggle to converse with strangers... I'm absolutely determined to change this because I just want to be normal!! Help me please someone!

[Cuchculan]

Well why not start out by ringing help lines even. Think of the people on the other end of the phone as people you will never ever have to come face to face with. Who cares if you botch up to begin with. This is just some practice. To see can you explain your problem. I am sure they would be well used to various problems. Once you settle down you will see those words sail out of your mouth. Trust me. I hate talking on the phone too. I struggle to get the words out. But once I begin to relax it up a bit I have no trouble at all. Can sound odd. The stammerer soundly hasn't got a stammer at all. The person on the other end of the phone must think I am winding them up or something. I just relax the more I get into the call. But I am like that off a phone too. I would be bad around strangers to begin with. But I tell myself I can do it. I know we play the conversation over in our heads in advance and that doesn't help at all. When it comes down to it we don't say any of what we even planned to say. But then I came up with this whacky idea. What if I made a game of it. Pretended I was in a film. Yes. Silly I know. But pretend what you have to say are lines from a film. Take on another role. Have fun with it. Only you will know what is really going on. So you will be having a silent giggle here and there. What have you got to lose? Nothing at all. Go on. Give it a go. Watch as you get better with each call.

[constantmover]

Let me start out by saying, "You certainly are not alone!"  In fact, I think there are quite a few people who have difficulty with talking on the phone.  An acquaintance of mine, loves  texting because that means she doesn't actually have to carry on a conversation over the phone even with friends who she sees on a regular basis.

Many years ago, I also had this fear, but just mainly with authority figures or people I didn't know...similar to how you feel about this potential job.  What I did was actually write out what I wanted to say, right from the first Hello.  I would leave enough space between thoughts just in case I needed to write something down after the responses.  It's kind of like having crib notes for a test.  I really found it helped me and even though I felt I had some difficulty getting my words out, having the notes in front of me, helped me say what I needed to without it coming out garbled or unintelligible.  I can't say that it didn't make me feel exhausted when the conversation was over, but at least I managed to make myself understood.

What I can tell you is that in time, this problem has passed...The odd time I get tongue tied or feel uncomfortable on the phone with certain people but as I've gotten older and I've had to deal with some pretty difficult situations and had no choice but to have phone contact with people I don't know, I've, for the most part, gotten over it.  Depending on the situation though, I still make my crib notes just so my thoughts don't jumble up especially if the conversation is one that is related to medical issues regarding my family members.

To help get over this problem, I would suggest you make as many phone calls as possible just to get used to being on the phone.  Cuch's suggestion is a good one about help lines...I wish I had thought about that for myself all those years ago...Hey Cuch, where were you when I needed your advice, 20 years ago...LOL 

[epiphone15]

I'm assuming that your heart rate goes through the roof when you have to make a call. And this, in turn, makes you even more afraid and unable to speak properly. If so, I highly recommend asking your doctor for beta-blockers. They're pills that will keep your heart from going too fast. I know the drug sounds scary, but it really is very safe, and a lot of people use it for performance anxiety. I'm sure that if you asked your doctor, he/she would write you the prescription without asking many questions, since they get a lot of patients who use them.

I use it before situations where I might be anxious (job interviews, first dates, etc) and it works like a charm. I'm not saying it will take away your anxiety completely, but it'll solve (at least for the moment) a big hurdle.