DON'T mess with my routine!

[kelseymariexo]

Is anyone else like me? I go so crazy when my routine is interrupted, usually my morning and night time/evening ones. I know what to expect when I wake up and I try my hardest to keep everything consistent - same breakfast at 9:00AM, watch my favorite morning shows, retreat to my room by 11:00AM to get ready, clean or surf the internet until I have to tend to any daily errands I may have. During the afternoon I am okay and more easygoing but I like things to be the same at certain times of the day. By 5:00PM I like to have eaten dinner and be ready to relax and shut myself in my room to be alone. I have all my TV shows perfectly scheduled from 6:00PM-11:00PM and when I miss one I freak out, I know exactly when to take my sleeping pills to help me fall asleep by midnight. I could tell you with 95% accuracy what I will be doing a week from now at 8:00PM.  It's keeping me from getting a part-time job because I know that I would be called in at unsuspecting times and hours are different day to day. Whenever I am on vacation I know my routine is going to be thrown inside out  (like right now, which is why I'm posting this!) and I get terrible anxiety before I leave. I can tell that my family is getting frustrated with me because if we are out having a good time, once 6:00PM rolls around I feel as if I MUST be back to the hotel to just do things as I normally do. I am just not a spontaneous, go-with-the-flow person like the rest of my family or how I used to be in high school. It sucks! If my routine is interrupted by the smallest thing (like, "be ready in five minutes we're going to the movies!") I completely shut down and panic. I hate it. I used to just not care, but now my routine is the only thing that I have control over and not even Xanax is helpful at the worst times. I wish I could be normal and have spontaneous, fun experiences with friends and family but my brain just won't let me.

[Riggish]

Yes! I am like this. It was worse in my past. My life has a pretty set routine now that due to having a small child and no social life, rarely deviates, but I don't like changing it up at all. The rare night out that *I* decide I want is acceptable, and even then, I'm usually in a frenzy and wanting to go home shortly after we leave. It's hard. No advice, but I can relate.