Fear of Touch

[Anxious123]

Hello;

   I have an issue with being touched and I didn't know where to bring it... I feel like I am suffocating when my husband tries to hug and kiss me. It happens even when he just give me a fast peck...I see him coming and I try to either avoid it or just wait until it's over. I've been like this since we met so he knows it's not personal; I don't like when other people try to hug me either but it is an issue because my husband wants affection- and rightfully so. Being intimate is difficult for me as well since we are face to face; I always turn my head so I don't feel him breathing on me or so that he finds it hard to kiss. I love him and I want to be able to express it. I have no basis for this feeling; growing up, my family was affectionate, I was never abused or anything like that... my mother discouraged physical affection with boyfriends but I am married now so I should be able to let that go by now right? That's the only thing that I can think would lead to this feeling.

   Does anyone have any ideas or experiences like this? How did you move past it? I've been with this patient man for almost ten years and I want to give him the simple hugs, kisses and hand holding a wife should!!  Any ideas?? Thanks so much.