anyone else have 'going insane'/or scary unrealistic thoughts ?

[justsheree]

Hello, having a little struggle here lately and was wondering if anyone else delt with this as well. I have been having scary unrealistic thoughts, that I know are unrealistic ( what if I forget how to talk, what if I forget who I am ect.) but that when they arise, I notice them, pay attention to them, and then panic over them. Since my panic attacks are usually triggered by something 'not looking right' (sun goes behind a cloud and causes the room to get dark, light bulb out ect.) sometimes I'll stare at the soap dispenser and wonder 'what if I forgot how to use that or what that is for' and then sometimes I can blow it off, and sometimes it will cause me to panic for a minute. I know it's a mind game thing, just wondering if anyone else did this as well. It's got me questioning my sanity at times. Thanks for listening.

[Sbowers010]

yes i get this often I have been going through a little spell and trust me i know exactly how it feels.....


I actually think to myself " i am not remembering how to say words "
and I feel like I am not actually speaking
or walking other things of that nature

Its called Derealization/ Depersonalization

this little article helped me quite a bit- and just learning to roll with those feelings and also I tell myself "hush" out loud as if i was mothering myself- gotta do that sometimes


http://www.sound-mind.org/depersonalization.html





Try to go through the whole day and notice other things besides yourself Colors, the way things feel, taste and say them outloud


Sweet Wishes of Recovery

Sarah /b.

[justsheree]

 Thank you so much for your reply Sarah, I'm checking out that link now as well. Feels good to not be alone, although I'm sorry you deal with this issue too. Hope you continue to get better as well !
    Sheree

[thisishowwepray]

I definitely struggle with this, too. I am afraid I will go crazy every time I have a panic attack, even though I know on some level that it is just a panic attack and that I have had dozens and never gone "crazy" before. Sometimes I have specific fears ("what if I hallucinate and see something that isn't there?" "what if I scream out something inappropriate?"), but a lot of the time I just have a vague fear that I will "lose it."

I have other unrealistic thought, too, like "I am going to fall down," "I can't walk," "I can't talk." I generally just become overly aware of all of my thoughts. It is sort of hard to describe, but I definitely get what you are saying and I very much relate.

[justsheree]

Thisishowwepray,

 I like how you described it as generally or overly (now I can't remember, lol) aware of your thoughts. I think that hits the nail on the head for me. I know I have a zillion weird bizarre thoughts a day as do others I know who don't struggle with anxiety, but it's the minute that I start actually becoming aware of this mind chatter that it all goes downhill. Then if I get a symptom of an upcoming attack, it's all over. Sometimes I am able to push past these thoughts and have a semi-normal day, other times I can't. I think the scariest thing is the fear of being trapped in my own head with these thoughts since I'm the only one who can pull myself out. It's pretty scary that the mind seems to work against you in this way. I have been practicing meditation,I googled some info on it the other day, and it's been helping a little. Keeping my mind 'quiet' is definitely my big issue, and meditation is supposed to really help if it's done regularly I've been reading anyway. If you have any tips or advice on how you are able to quiet those thoughts I would definitely love to hear them. I hope this message finds you having a good day and on the way to calm as well.Thank you for your reply, feels good to not be alone.
  Sheree

[gavinbeeker]

Meditation really is helpful with this feeling of surreality and racing mind. A common misperception of meditation is that if you're thinking, you're doing it wrong. It can be as simple as just sitting and observing the sensation beneath your nostrils. The key is, don't reject or react to whatever pops into your mind. Simply observe it, be aware, and also be mindful of the fact that anything in this world, particularly your thoughts, come and go. They won't last forever. I find this practice to be incredibly grounding, helping me with acceptance of my racing mind and feelings of panic. I'm sure if you looked around you could find a meditation group near you. Sitting with others really helps keep you motivated.

[tatertot]

Yes, I get stuck in spells where I think I'm going to die or something is horrible is about to happen to me. Eventually I snap out of it and it feels like you just woke up from a bad dream. Like you were stuck in a fantasy land.

[eyeslikeapisces]

Totally. But remember. If you *think* you are losing it, you aren't. People whom *have* lost it, don't have the ability to rationalize or even question it. :)

I am currently convinced I have MS or ALS because I am having muscle twitches and I will obsess on my mouth and my words and think "omg am I slurring, thats a sign of both MS AND ALS!" and...it actually makes me hesitate and have speech problems.

...in my core, I know it's probably just my mind.

[justsheree]

Eyes-

 I do that too !! When I think about messing up my words, or if I did mess up my words, then it's 10x more difficult to talk. Here lately I have been having a hard time remembering things and then I try to focus on everything so I will remember it and it's just too much. ugh. So over these anxiety/panic symptoms. I get frustrated because I'll go from feeling fine, to a thought entering, to worry, to panic, to forget the day I can't get a grip and then it seems impossible to break the worry cycle that day. And then sometimes, I can get up and go through the day and brush the thoughts off as nothing more than they really are, just thoughts. Tellin ya, there's got to be some sort of reward out there for us anxiety sufferers!!!

[hope2011]

Wow I feel better knowing I am not the only one.  I have had panic attacks my whole life and the past few months have been really bad from all the very strange thoughts that I get. I get very strange and scary thoughts that don't make any sense. Our minds are very powerful.

[sgeorgiadis]

Yes, I am in a severe panic attack now and feel like I am losing my mind.  I can't sit still but I can't do anything useful - I just feel like I can't go on.  My mind is racing and I am ridden with fear and feeling very overwhelmed.  It's like my brain is destroying itself - I don't know what to do.  I can't even sit still long enough or have enough concentration to write anymore but I desperately need help and don't know what to do.

[justsheree]

I know that feeling too. It's no good. Hang in there, I know that sounds so much easier than it is. But, you were able to type that reply, and that took concentration, and no matter how bad you were feeling at the time, you were functional enough to do it. It's a nasty thing panic/anxiety does to us, but hang in there, no bad feeling lasts forever, it just seems that way. I looked up some stuff on the TEA method as suggested by another member on here, and it seems promising, I would suggest maybe doing that. Feel free to email/message me anytime if you just need someone to listen, I know that helps me sometimes as well, talking with someone who understands the severity of all of it. Hope this post finds you doing better.

[Chris22]

I know exactly what you mean.I started getting panic attacks when I was 14 and it seems the older and smarter I get,the more elaborate and complex my disturbing thoughts become.Like,what if I am the universe and everything I see is my imagination and I'm destined to be alone forever.These thoughts will set me off in a panic.I'm also so afraid of speaking or acting innapropriately in awkward social situations,for example,when I meet someone for the first time this thought always pops into my head about how bad it would be if I started screaming uncontrollably or something.It never happens but still it comes into my head and troubles me.Recently things have been getting so bad that I have lost confidence in my ability to walk or stand!

[justsheree]

Chris22

  Been there done that !! I wish I would have found this site several years ago. I was convinced I was the only one in the world that felt this way and that I was some sort of freak of nature. I used to be afraid that I would
get trapped in the feeling of depersonalization/derealization (the scariest symptom to me) that that feeling was some sort of alternate world that I would get stuck in. I know now it's the body's response to anxiety/panic
but when you don't know, anything feels possible. Sometimes even knowing, the scariest still seems possible.

[Chris22]

Depersonalization/derealization is something I struggled badly with ever since my first attack.I always felt that I could never see the world as clearly and vividly as before that day when I broke down about 8 years ago.And because my perception felt altered it triggered more attacks until I sort of got used to it in a depressing sort of way,like I just gave up and accepted it the best I could.But even to this day the world looks dull and even alien to me at times.I'm currently in the middle of another bad spell (which brought me here too) so right now even my own home doesn't feel or look like home.I wish I could break out of this imaginary bubble!

[justsheree]

Chris22
 I'm sorry to read that. Sometimes I worry that I will forget what my home looks like, it's like a mind game I play with myself when I go somewhere, like 'can you remember what your house looks like' well, yea of course I can, but sometimes it makes me panic. I know it's not the same thing, but I get what you are saying. Panic def. changed the way I see the world too, and I hate that. I have days where it's a complete struggle, then there's days where I feel almost normal ... nasty illness it is. I hope this post finds you doing better, hang in there. Keep me updated on your success.

[gsquez77]

Hi!  I get these scary unrealistic  thoughts as well.  It is a very weird feeling and very scary.  I try to keep busy doing things to take my mind off of it.
I notice these more when inactive  but they can appear at any given time.
What causes this to happen?  Is this a symptom of anxiety?

[justsheree]

I hear you. I believe you will, I believe I will to, just takes too long. Keep pushing forward, and keep me updated. Best of luck,
Sheree

[justsheree]

gsquez77-

   For me it def. is a symptom of my anxiety/panic disorder. I agree with you, they are there more when I'm not really doing anything, if I can keep my mind busy on other things, I don't have them, or am able to brush them off. Wish it was something that would just go away without a fight, but for me it's tough. Best wishes to you as well, let me know if you find something that helps you deal with these symptoms.
Sheree

[Concopa]

I'm going to quote from "The Anxiety & Phobia workbooks"

"Reduced blood flow to your brain during a panic attack is due to arterial constriction, a normal consequence of rapid breathing. This can result in a sensation of disorientation and a feeling of unreality that can be frighting. If this sensation comes on, remind yourself that it's simply due to a slight and temporary reduction of arterial circulation in your brain and does not have nothing to do with "going crazy" no matter how eerie or strange it may feel."

[UcantCme]

Wow, this is my very first post I have read on this forum, and OMG...I feel that way too.  Which I hafta say that I am glad that there are other people who feel the same way.  I was starting to wonder if I was showing signs of premature dementia or something.  There are times when I am talking, even to someone who I am at ease with, but for some reason I am all the sudden self conscience and think the words out of my mouth sound stupid; or I start thinking about what they must be thinking and therefore lose track of what I am thinking, therefore loose track of what I am saying, and then forget words and loose train of thought.  It's very daunting, especially is social settings where it's bound to rear it's ugly head.  A big reason why I choose to limit those as little as possible.  My problem isn't worrying about forgetting how to talk; it's that I actually cant talk.  I sound like a stuttering idiot.  I feel socially inept and find that people laugh when its not intentional.  That can't be a good sign.

[mohunter1984]

I struggle with the same thing almost everyday. I was told that if I think I am crazy then I am not, crazy people do not know they are crazy.

It is just another symptom of anxiety.