Justice for the Crime committed

[caterpillar]

Hello everyone,

I'm finding it is most difficult to move on and heal with an event that ocurred a year ago. I don't know if its worth going to court to see my attacker get some type of charge. I know I could be revictimized by reliving the events by the questioning in a courtroom. However, I don't feel closure/healing by just moving far away from this person and time. Does anyone have an opinion on this ? Its the hardest decision I've come across yet in my life.

[Cuchculan]

To me, the problem will always be with you, on a subconscious level. Meaning that you could get on with life. But at some stage down the line it could come back to bite you again. That is what happens with PSTD. We can bury problems away. Move on. Not deal with them. Only to have them rear there ugly heads a few years from now. With a court case you would have to relive the events. Unless the person in question is pleading guilty. Pleading not guilty would mean having to get up and give evidence. If the person thought he would be convicted he may be advised to plead guilty. For a lesser amount of time. Which would mean you wouldn't have to take the stand at all. The judge would do a bit of talking. Then hand out of sentence. But would that be enough to ease your mind? In some ways I don't think so. I think the attack may have left a mark on the subconscious mind. And it is this that has to be dealt with. Through some form of theraphy. Maybe in this case a theraphy called EMT. I am no medical expert. But EMT is used on PTSD patients. Which I do think yours may become. No preacher either. But one important thing to note. Holding onto hatred is a bad thing. The person you hate feels nothing at all. You are the one that feels the pain. Because you are the person with the feeling of hatred inside of you. This is were thoughts of forgiveness come into play. To be able to say ' you done this to me, but I am not going to let it ruin my life '. If the attack on you was that bad you may get a chance to be able to make an impact statement. It's a choice. One were you can tell your attacker how much they hurt you. But you also forgive them. It takes a bigger person to forgive. But in doing so you have to mean it. To be able to let go of certain feelings held within. It may take some work with a therapist in advance. Just some food for thought. Hope things work out well for you.

[fhawn]

For me justice came later. My perpetrator attacked another woman and ended up in prison. I tried going the court rout I had some victories and some failures…But I agree with  Cuchculan  That with PTSD  The memories  and events stay with you. Even if you go or don’t go..

If you in the united states you could use a court appointed crime victims advocate.. They would even read your crime impact statement for you if your not able to do it at the time due to stress a re traumatization.

Going to court was hard for me . It was good for me to face him. But honestly it didn’t faze him at all He continued to victimize other women. And unfortunately is out of prison now.

So if you do decide to go do it for yourself…don’t have any expectations good or bad…you might want to talk to a therapist and your attorney to see if your able to take the stand….

Good luck to you and I hope you find a way to work out your situation.

Hugs,
Fhawn

[AngRC]

So sorry you have to deal with this. It would be nice if it "put him away" for awhile and protected others, but I'm afraid it could cause you more pain and anguish. The PTSD stays with you for a long time. My abuser (brother) lives hundreds of miles away. I've been trying to deal with it for a long time (with therapists/psychiatrists since college, I'm 37 now). The nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks, etc do lessen with time, but it's always something I carry with me. It does help to understand that being angry hurts you and not really him. Know that you're not alone. Whatever you decide, it's YOUR decision, we'll be here for you. You have to do what's best for YOU. Hang in there! XOXO