cheated on my final

[horrorrbusinesss]

i feel really guilty and can't really shake this feeling, i just want it to go away, i cannot come clean because i cant risk my grade. When a question i didnt know came up i googled the answer on my phone, but i have been doing this since high school and i'm not sure why i feel so bad about it now.

[mdbhoy1888]

Dont feel guilty, feel happy you got the answer and no one noticed you doing it! Lol

[Carryon]

Dont feel guilty, feel happy you got the answer and no one noticed you doing it! Lol

Ah, invoke, the "good old 11th Commandment".

[GenSec]

I've sat alot of exams in my life so far. Have honestly never cheated on any of them.

Why? Because when you cheat, you haven't really earned the grades. YOU can't claim credit for achieving them. It saps away at your self-confidence. And your pride.

Earning something gives us a sense of self. It allows you to believe in yourself. I have a Degree, and i can look at others who have earned a Degree and feel their equal. I could not do this if i earned it through cheating. Because i didn't earn it, therefore it isn't really mine and i haven't shown my talents and abilities to their full potential. I would feel guilty and insecure. Like an imposter King Macbeth who should not be on the throne and gains his office through secret misdeeds, although he wears them his Kingly robes fit him poorly and uneasily. They are too large for him.

Thats why, when you cheat, you let yourself down. No one else. Do you not deserve better? Are you not better than that? Self respect is important. Have more confidence in your own abilities and talents.  Prove to yourself that you have them and you are capable just the same as anyone else in that exam room or whoever earned that grade.

You say yourself that you have done this since High School. Can i ask... is there any grade you have earned through your own talent and abilities? Is there any grade you can say to yourself "I done this by all by myself and my own talents, and i am proud?"

By the way, none of this is criticism. Not at all.

I just wish to explore where the guilt is coming from, and have made a suggestion and suggested a way of remedying it.

[HealingJourney]

I totally agree with Red - and I can tell you that getting perfect grades is not all it is made out to be. I drove myself through 9 years of college and graduated magna cum laude and made my anxiety worse and no one but me cared. I should have coasted a bit - got C's and relaxed.

Do your best, don’t cheat and dont pressure yourself.

[Carryon]

Everyone who excels with honors does not end up a nervous wreck but excellence may be have a too high admission price for some if it means missing the lessions that can be learned from calculated risks and failures at a young age in order gain valuable experience in preparation for real life where success is a failure and failure is no success at all.

[pauly j]

In my experience, all of those that get A's and B's, end up working for those that got C's, and D's!  Unless you plan to use your grades and degree to "specialize", a degree these days does not ensure you get a good job!  Those days of getting a good education, get a good job, and retire at age 65, is a thing of the past! 

I would imagine that a high number of folks cheat by getting the answers, weather from the internet, or using a calculator! 

The key to learning is remembering!  Someone that is smart just has a good memory!  I know some very intelligent people, some with more degrees than a thermometer, but working very menial jobs!  Maybe they can use their extensive general knowledge to get a free beer at the bar, or maybe hit it big on Jeopardy, or Who wants to be a Millionaire! 

I read a bumper sticker once that said, "If you didn't cheat, you didn't do everything it took!" LOL!

No need to feel guilty about this, guilt only causes one to feel depressed and/or anxious!


pauly j

[Carryon]

In my experience, all of those that get A's and B's, end up working for those that got C's, and D's!  Unless you plan to use your grades and degree to "specialize", a degree these days does not ensure you get a good job!  Those days of getting a good education, get a good job, and retire at age 65, is a thing of the past! 

I would imagine that a high number of folks cheat by getting the answers, weather from the internet, or using a calculator! 

The key to learning is remembering!  Someone that is smart just has a good memory!  I know some very intelligent people, some with more degrees than a thermometer, but working very menial jobs!  Maybe they can use their extensive general knowledge to get a free beer at the bar, or maybe hit it big on Jeopardy, or Who wants to be a Millionaire! 

I read a bumper sticker once that said, "If you didn't cheat, you didn't do everything it took!" LOL!

No need to feel guilty about this, guilt only causes one to feel depressed and/or anxious!


pauly j

Talk about aiming for the bottom. He should feel guilty because cheating is "theft" and that's healthy "anxiety" which shouldn't morph into a relatistic term for feel sorry for me; I don't want to feel bad. The goal in life is not a free conscience or free ride. We already have too much of that.

Plenty if not most great scientists and minds, Einsten. Currie, Salk, Krick, had more than great memories.

That C and D types are more successful is myth created by C and D types. They may run more fast food restaurants and 7/11s. I want my doctor and lawyer to be far better than the average meatball who thinks about the next beer and smoke. That type did not get us out of the caves.

We witnessed an a underachieving President from a legacy education environment.

[pauly j]

Socrates said that "learning is remembering!" 

Carryon, I dare not disagree with you!  You are far too wise for me to consider such, as I agree with the majority of your view points here!:)

It is just through my personal observation of my own family members and close friends, that they all achieved great levels of success, financially, and in business, not through utilizing the education system, but through learning and applying specialized knowledge and making good business decisions!  None of them were college graduates! 

IMO, again, it would be unfair to lecture youngsters today, that getting a good education will ensure a good job, thus becoming financially successful, because that only rarely suggests the truth today!

I do believe that "character" is important, and in doing things fairly, truthfully, and honestly, one can become not only successful, but feel good about himself in the process!

I have also known a few folks with great character, who did everything right and got the short end of the stick!

By no means was I implying that being college educated is a bad thing!  I believe knowledge is potential power, however the application of proper knowledge leads to outstanding results!  Ignorance on fire is better than knowledge on ice!

pauly j

[jen2213]

Your teacher will most likely let you retake a different test if you come clean about it. But if you were to get caught before you come clean, then you risk your entire education and future education.

The guilt from anything like this will add onto your anxiety and like others said it will make you feel like less of a person. though it might seem right at the time, it is much better to study in advance and ask your teacher when you feel like you aren't prepared for the exam to get more time or a retake.

Since you came here, you obviously didn't feel good about it; either that or you are looking for someone to tell you that it's ok, but it really isn't; so other than the first responder I don't think you will find many other people supporting the fact that you cheated.

[Carryon]

Nothing is more dangerous than comfortable ignorance and determined stupidity-- which characterizes most most people driving down the road next you to texting, tweeting about themselves or some inane reality show or a celebrity. The evidence of that is everywhere, the classroom for sure. Students don't want to learn they want the grade (grade inflation is rampant) and their parents are even more vocal, expecting that. Only in the hard majors are grades more likely earned, majors avoided by most students for that reason. No surprise from a culture obsessed with labels and celebrity, a culture where a student possesses a smartphone, not to mention is permitted to carry one into class while the rest of us have to turn them off on plane.

[GenSec]

The world of finance and business - that arena so worshipped and feted over in capitalist society - definitely does not require brains. Even in the 19th century thinkers like Karl Marx were looking at the educational backgrounds of big business successes - and writing that they were often some of the most ignorant and stupid people in society. The world of business and finance is not about intelligence - it is about attitude and character. Often a morally poor attitude, i reckon. Selfish character (disguised as "individualism"). 

I agree with carryon totally. Of course it is theft. I am not calling the original poster a bad person by any means, however. I would just like him to aim higher for himself. 

I was good at education. I left school with A's and came from a poor background, a working class area where no one else went to university. A single mother brought me up. I gained access to an ancient Scottish university, which was a surprise to everyone. My beliefs and personality stood out a mile. I rubbed shoulders with the children of very wealthy and educated people, people from private schools. And yet i could still compete with them an equal footing. I graduated top of my year with a Distinguished Honours out of a class of 38. That was the proudest day of my life. I am so glad i invested the effort. You only get one shot at life at something like that, so i gave it my all at the time. I could drink and party and waste time another year when it was all over.

Interestingly, the grade of my degree turned out to be utterly irrelevant. 2 girls who got totally average grades in the same degree began getting more attention than me from university staff, extra help in arranging and planning postgraduate work. It was obvious that i was not getting the same help, not nearly. I noticed that these girls were from very wealthy bachgrounds. One day i openly asked a tutor of this was a reason for their extra help. He just said quite colddly "At this level you need money. Travelling to foreign countries to study and gain background knowledge. Money to support yourself for ears of unpaid study and researc." When i asked about someone from my circumstances, he shrugged his shoulders and said "Sorry, but it isn't expect someone from your circumstances to get this far, the financial system isn't designed with someone like you in mind. I'm not saying its fair but thats the way it is. The government will help you financially with a degree but thats as far as the support goes. Postgrad work you are on your own financially. The first year of your postgrad work is going to cost £3250... do you or your family have that kind of money? When i said no, he said "sorry. I know its not fair but thats the real world at this level of academia. The two girls you talk about have paid already, thats why they are getting extra help and advice. Could you borrow money?" That was the beginning of the end of my academia career fantasies.

Then again, this story comes from a guy who, whilst briefly undertaking some postgrad experience based on the degree, preferred his part-time cleaning job and enjoyed the company of the folks there, not the highly competitive and back-biting atmmosphere of the postgrad environment! I realised that my character did not suit the postgrad career plans. I was not competitive enough. It just always seemed so petty and childish to me, two faced too. After that experience, i didn't want the career anyway. Now, i am back to the life i led before ever going to university.The degree changed my socio-economic circumstances absolutely in no way whatsoever.

Am i revelling in money? No, certainly not. I find business and finance distasteful and would not enter them. In fact i have been unemployed for over a year now. I'm still happy i chose to work so hard at that degree. It can never be taken from me and i will always have it. Plus, money isn't everything. I feel better in myself for what i did. It gave me some confidence in myself, something i was so lacking in for a long time.

It may have been better however if i had followed my father as an apprentice into his manual trade/profession, lol. He always had a wage and never needed even a college education.

[sixpack]

The world of finance and business - that arena so worshipped and feted over in capitalist society - definitely does not require brains. Even in the 19th century thinkers like Karl Marx were looking at the educational backgrounds of big business successes - and writing that they were often some of the most ignorant and stupid people in society. The world of business and finance is not about intelligence - it is about attitude and character. Often a morally poor attitude, i reckon. Selfish character (disguised as "individualism"). 
 

had to giggle a bit here---hubs found, when he was in college, that the business majors were the big party animals and seemed to chose the major for the ease of acquiring the degree for HUGE $$$ making potential. 

And tend to aggree a bit with the morality of some of the business leaders in the world today. Seems many will do just about anything in the pursuit of $$$.


I am not really commenting on the OPs post here just noting how  Red's comments seem to gell with my hubs experiences. 


You feel guilty about this, horror, because you do know that cheating is the incorrect thing to do.  whether you should fess up or not is up to you BUT I would suggest that from here on out you take the higher road and just accept you don't know an answer and commit to better study for the next test.   

[Grandma]

Hi horrorbusiness -

What you did was wrong.  Period.

This doesn't make you a bad person.  I would need to know a lot more about you to form an opinion one way or the other, but I don't think you are a bad person based on the fact that you have been cheating on exams for years.  You may be a very good person who has been doing one bad thing.

Maybe the reason that you feel bad about cheating for the first time, after having done it for years, is that you are now mature enough to recognize that cheating is wrong.

Now you need to decide what to do.  I'm not sure that it would be a good idea to come clean and ask for a retake, as one poster suggested.  At some universities, that would get you expelled, and that would be an awfully high price to pay for honesty.  I think that the decision comes down to whether to continue to cheat, or to study harder, take future exams honestly, and earn your grades with pride, as has also been suggested.

What you should not do is let feelings of guilt plague you.  Guilt is a warning signal that we have done something that goes against our beliefs.  Once you decide how to respond, you can turn off the alarm.  Feeling guilty cannot change what has happened.  It can only change what will happen from now on, and once your course is set, you no longer need to feel guilty.

Love, Grandma

[Carryon]

The world of finance and business - that arena so worshipped and feted over in capitalist society - definitely does not require brains. Even in the 19th century thinkers like Karl Marx were looking at the educational backgrounds of big business successes - and writing that they were often some of the most ignorant and stupid people in society. The world of business and finance is not about intelligence - it is about attitude and character. Often a morally poor attitude, i reckon. Selfish character (disguised as "individualism"). 
 

had to giggle a bit here---hubs found, when he was in college, that the business majors were the big party animals and seemed to chose the major for the ease of acquiring the degree for HUGE $$$ making potential. 

And tend to aggree a bit with the morality of some of the business leaders in the world today. Seems many will do just about anything in the pursuit of $$$.


I am not really commenting on the OPs post here just noting how  Red's comments seem to gell with my hubs experiences. 


You feel guilty about this, horror, because you do know that cheating is the incorrect thing to do.  whether you should fess up or not is up to you BUT I would suggest that from here on out you take the higher road and just accept you don't know an answer and commit to better study for the next test.   

Yes, there was a time, an era, when a business degree program  in the Ivy League was the easiest program in which to be accepted, the genesis of the "gentleman's C" with a good social life in a fraternity from a name school and then off to the family business or banking (e.g. Donald Trump). Few pursued the MBA in that era because business was neither highly regarded, competitive or highly payed on the levels that draws students to those programs today, and allows schools to charge outlandish tuition. That era hit it's zenith with the "Sputnik" generation, when the best and brightest went into the hard sciences, engineering and physics, not business. 

[GenSec]

I studied for a traditional Arts and Humanities degree - thats probably where i went wrong! Unless you want to teach with it, there isn't much at all you can do with it.

Arts and Humanities degrees like my own remind me of the old European aristocracy..... they wanted to be educated and intellectual and have knowledge, but they never had to seek employment; so they never had to worry about the practical applications of the degree itself.

[HealingJourney]

Same with me Red

I had two undergrad degrees - one was Cultural Anthropology so unless you were Margaret Mead who would hire you. So I got a second which was a pre-medicine science degree.

My straight "A's" were worthless unless I wanted to become a professor or work for the government. I was actually hired at different clinics without ever seeing my doctorate degrees. Not one employer over 35 years ever asked my grades.

[Carryon]

Young adults should be encouraged to get work experience before going to college. On one trip to Australia we met a young girl who was working on the Barrier Reef before going to college and she said that the government encouraged that by paying all or part of her tuition when she decided to go to college, had a better idea of what she was suited for. Most high school students here have no idea of what they want to do or what they are good at and some would be better off, even financially going into a skilled trade. But there is no cache from that for them or their college educated parents. I submit that finding oneself at a young age has always been a right of passage. But in the past, the cost of a college degree was not a terribly expensive way to spend time doing that. In fact, it should be a time for trying this and that, learning many different things inside and outside the classroom by associating with curious students with diverse backgrounds. Today, students pursue college like a business plan and their parents start fretting about it while they are gestating.

[HealingJourney]

I agree Carry

I did not set foot in a college until I was 25 years old. So many of my friends hate their carreer but spent the huge money on education and cant switch now

[Carryon]

Interesting change noticed over the years: When graduates submit a resume they often include their GPA and SAT scores etc. From reviewing such resumes, I've confirmed the much written about grade inflation. Seems like everyone gets an A, especially from the best and most expensive schools, which have admitted inflating grades to stave off parents complaints about getting nothing for the high tuition.

[GenSec]

When i was at uni, there were folks there with high school grades, and their spelling and grammar were abysmal. Its was shocking. Eventually my university introduced a beginners course in writing and grammar. However, as the Principal complained - they are supposed to learn all this at school. So why are they recieving the grades for these skills when apparently they still don't have them? He complained to the Scottish Government that schools were failing in their role, perhaps giving out grades as standard issue to avoid offence to pupils and parents, and a root and branch investigation and review of the education system was was needed. He was ignored and yes, parents howled in protest.

Grade inflation reduces the value of the grades of those who have worked hard, and genuinely earned a high grade. Everyone gets tarred with the charge of their good grades merely being the result of grade inflation, whether deserved or not.

I am also taking another career path HealingJourney - computers and clerical work. I already have top grades in written English, so i am returning to my school grade and building on that. I am also currently on a college computer and software course. Basically, i am looking to become a bureacrat, lol. My first exam is tomorrow! 

I still am glad i undertook my degree (even though like yourself, the grade is irrelevant and i have never been asked at job interviews to provide evidence!)... but rather than moan, its time to find another path. 

[sixpack]

I have an Education degree in elementary ed.  My grades were looked at the time.  Thank goodness I had good ones.  lol.  I also had to sub forever to get my teaching job

hubs has advanced degrees in chemistry and an MBA.  He, of course, got phenom grades.  lol. He is a very smart man.  What gets him in the door for jobs is looking at the universities he went to--even now 25+ yrs later. 

[starr77]

I think as long as you looked up one answer and wasnt cheating on the whole test its no big deal,just let it go and maybe promise yourself that you wont do it again if it makes you feel better. Ive never cheated on any of my exams,but ive wanted too..lol

[Carryon]

Once you have real work experience and can appear competent, no one cares about grades but accomplishments and a record of advancement. But the good old boy's club continues in some lines of work more than others. In those, an Ivy League pedigree still gets attention especially from other Ivies, who have a disproportionate hold on powerful hiring positions. Fair? No. Some things will never change.

[sixpack]

hubs didn't go to Ivy League.  He went to schools with a rep for excellence in chemistry.  Hubs had an interview recently--the interviewer looked at the schools he went to and was very impressed.