Close to Breakdown

[Wornoutworrier]

You know that feeling you get when the stress is building up and you're sure you're going to have a nervous breakdown....that's me.  I've been having all kinds of neuro things such as pins and needles, ulnar nerve entrapment (Nerve conduction test confirmed) and now a foot that constantly feels like it's numb.  This past week I started to get Raynauld's Phenomenon all the time.  I've never had it like this.  I've been dealing with this for 3 months and I have no idea what I have and it seems to be progressively getting worse.  I had MRIs done on Monday but they haven't gotten the results yet.  I'm a mess, especially since the Neurologist thinks there's spinal cord damage.  I don't know if it's nerve or maybe an auto-immune disease since I now have the raynaulds and tenderness in my arms.  I had ultrasounds of my legs done before I had surgery in October '09 so I wouldn't think it's circulatory.  I did so well handling this until the past month or so because things just keep getting worse.  I'm just so frustrated that I'm no closer in finding out what is going on with me.  I just want to cry.  I want this health stuff to be over. 

[grateful]

I am so sorry:( I know how you feel. I'm not sure what Reynolds is but I do have a small syrinx at C6 in my spinal cord its like a cyst that grew inside. I may have been born with this or it happened from trauma ( that I can't remember) anyways I found this out first last year and then that I had a small tear in my vetebral artery then that I was pregnant while quitting smoking, going off zoloft (bad headaches) and morning sickness. I was a MESS! I prayed everyday that I would be ok and physically feel better I couldn't handle the anxiety in top of all of it. While I can't say I am 100 percent better I have come to terms with ALL of it and everything is ok:) its just one day at a time and yes you have all these things going on but this is one part of life.... The other is beautiful and its seems like you have to get through the bad to get to the good. Its just a trade off! Take care:) it will be ok!

[Wornoutworrier]

Thanks so much. I started to tear up. So nice to just have someone give you a kind word when you know they really understand how you feel. Wish the doctor would call but also don't.

[Jenniferio]

I've been there and I'll tell you what has helped me.  If you want to get better you have to control your breathing. 

Get in touch with your body - your inhaling and exhaling and observe how your stomach goes up and down.

Sit quietly and observe your breathing.  Count your breaths to 100, then to 200, etc.  Try to clear your mind.

Its imperative that you breathe through your nose and keep your jaw loose/not clenched.

Other then loading up on meds - this is the way to go.

Another excellent bit of advice is to take a nice walk in the park - go down a quiet path and just relax and clear your mind of all thoughts.

[HealingJourney]

I would venture to guess there are millions of people falsely diagnosed with Raynauld's. Stress and anxiety move blood flow from the extremities to the core to prepare for injury in the battle - just that we don’t have a battle but our amygdala and hypothalamus think one is coming so lowered blood flow and you get cold and painful extremities. One of the biofeedback techniques we use to retrain anxious people is hand and foot warming.

This is not one more thing to worry about - it is just another nervous system trick that will go away.

[Wornoutworrier]

Thanks everyone.  I have had Raynauld's for a while but it's just flared up this past week which may be due to new meds they gave me to calm the pins and needles in my entrapped ulnar nerve or waiting to get the MRIs done.  I've been in CBT therapy at least 5 times over the past 13 years so you would think I'd be able to handle this.  I guess all my other physical things were easily dismissed with tests.  It's the fact I don't know what is causing these issues (I would love it to be stress).  I didn't get overly anxious until the symptoms started.  Then I know the worrying is just making them worse.  I guess what scares me after all this time his how less I feel like coping with this stuff.  I just feel like giving up. If therapy, many self-help books and medication hasn't helped then it's hard to think what else I can try. 

[marc]

I went through a very difficult time with HA a few years ago and I thought I would never recover.
I still battle it and at times it is tough and I have also thought in the past about giving up.
I say to myself, that I can't let this HA get the best of me and I fight onward. If I can do it,
so can you.

[Wornoutworrier]

I try to keep up the good fight.  I know it relapses and relents sometimes but it just seems like the periods get shorter and shorter. 

[tinam7]

OK, so I am just the opposite: should go to the doctor who would promptly put me in the hospital. I'd turn into a patient and an invalid. But I won't go. Why? Because I want my time, whatever is left. I will not give it up to anything or anyone else. You might want to try and find any and all pleasurable things to do.

CBT generally works but it needs constant attention. Exercise also works for me as does meditation. You are not alone and you can triumph. Wish you the best.

[Wornoutworrier]

Thanks.  Yes I have stayed in therapy for pretty much 4 years straight now.  I even switched when I realized that the one I had wasn't really challenging me to improve but just kind of listened to me whine.  The therapist that I have now has put me through a lot of exposure therapy and has given me more tools.  Maybe it has to get worse before it gets better.  I used to love exercising but with all my "nerve" things it makes it a little more difficult.  I've lost 60 lbs and should be happy that I'm able to do more things but just haven't even been able to motivate myself because it seems to "set off" symptoms that then make me worry.   I'm not usually this bad but dealing 3 months with these issues has worn on me.  Most things I worry about can resolve after a few weeks.  Most people who know me would be shocked that I suffer from this stuff so badly because I try not to show it.  I can only really identify with all of you.