I am embarrassed to be even putting this out here! But I have to keep things real! I trust the advice of the members here, as some of you has trusted my advice!
I am just so angry and frustrated how things are going with my marriage! To be honest, it was never really good! I have been married for 17 years! Most of those years were horrible, filled with fighting, disagreements, mistrust, name calling, no support, no trust, and so on! The thing is I have 3 beautiful kids, ages 8, 12, and 16! They are the loves of my life! Problem is, my wife and I have some pretty bad fights, often right in front of the kids!
My therapist tries to tell me to work things out! This marriage should have ended long ago, with numerous arguments, really bad fights, and so forth! My therapist convinced me to stay in the marriage, saying that things will affect each one of us, including the kids! The only reason I stay with her is because of the kids! How many times have you heard that one! And yes, I know, staying together because of the kids is not a good reason, in fact the kids get caught in the middle!
Right now the main reason I stay is because it is convenient! Our lives are set up with the arrangements for kids school and activities, work, and finances! I don't think we can afford to separate, or divorce, because whoever moves out will not be able to pay for a place to rent, as it is so high where I live! I love my kids, and don't want them to see the way my wife and I argue all the time! I don't want it to affect them! I also don't want them to be children of divorced parents, as my wife and I were! I know either way they will be affected!
My wife is really a strange person! She was not so supportive in my worse days with anxiety and depression! I hold that against her still till this day! She always accuses me of things that are absolutely false! I am so sick of it, and sometimes causes me anxiety! I am trying to remain somewhat recovered, but our arguments causes me so much stress! She spends too much of her time at work (7 days a week), and at church (cult)! We do not agree with anything, from her religion, to raising the kids, to goals in life! I am a fairly ambitious person, and she isn't! She is really a bad mother in my opinion! She agrees that I am a better parent than she is! She comes from a broken family, her dad left when she was young! I come from a broken family, too, as my mother raised 3 boys all on her own! My wife sometimes uses this as an excuse, but many people who had a similar upbringing turned out to be good role models and stand up citizens!
I am just sort of rambling, typing ideas as they come in my head! There is lots more awful details to add, but I will just leave it at this, I think you get the picture of how this relationship is! Anyway, question is should we get a divorce? I should add, my MAIN concern is for my 3 kids!