i cannot for the life of me figure out what my problem is...

[metroprimes00]

hello, folks. i'm still a bit new here and normally i wouldn't post such a distressing topic, but the anxiety seems a bit too much to handle today. i have no idea what is going on with my body lately! i'm a 23 year old male with no medical history of things like heart disease except that my family has mental illness. for a little over two years now, i have been dealing with extreme health-related anxiety and GAD. this started while i was in the military (thanks, US navy) and ever since, my life has been devoted to internalizing negativity and being worried-- like, crazy worried.

i've had many tests done on my heart including 2 stress tests, 2 echo cardiograms, 2 chest x-rays, and countless EKG's with no negative results, yet i still find myself worrying each day is my last day on earth, and that i'll suddenly collapse from a heart attack or a stroke. i have fairly normal blood pressure ranging from 116/70 to 120/80 and my blood work that was done about a month and a half ago apparently was fine (i got no call back from the doctor at the VA). this is where it gets confusing for me: a look into my medical records, you'll probably see that everything is fine. with the exception of a history of mental illness, there isn't anything there to raise an alarm-- yet, everyday i feel like complete and utter garbage. for example, my back is constantly killing me, i sleep late into the day (12pm) after going to bed around 2am, my muscles are constantly sore, my eyes have heavy bags, and i am ALWAYS tired. i am always drained of energy and i feel severely depressed. most days i don't want to do anything.

i have no job and i withdrew from school this semester because i couldn't handle going outside as i thought i would just collapse. in fact, i have developed a fear of collapsing and dying in public places. it's ruined my life! i was on effexor for a few months and i believe it may be the cause for some of my tiredness. i'm in the act of weening off of it right now, and this may be the cause for some of the symptoms i've been feeling lately: dizziness, over-tiredness, depression, etc. i want to know what the hell is going on with myself so i can move on and be happy. i feel like such a bum living at home at 23 while many of my friends are moving out and enjoying their lives. i really don't want to live this way, but any effort i make into re-directing my negative energy, the tiredness comes over me like a wave and i have to lie down and rest. has anyone else experienced these feelings? my doctor has told me i'm healthy, but this was a few months ago. i feel like i need constant assurance that i'm okay, but even that doesn't seem to help anymore. i don't know what to do, really...

[Sniek]

Might be exaggerating, and not sure whether or not you are familiar with this particular syndrome.
But my sister was diagnosed with it and she had similar complaints.
Read into it when you have the time :)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chronic_fatigue_syndrome

[jrand12]

Hey man I'm 26 and I've dealt with depression and anxiety real bad the past two years of my life ever since my wife cheated on me and had a baby with someone that was my friend. The best advice you can receive is to be strong and weather the storm, eventually things will get better you are just unable to see it right now. Trust me stay strong and talk to someone close to you. If you can't, find a psychiatrist and they will be able to help you out.

[Uhdenied]

Hey man I'm 26 and I've dealt with depression and anxiety real bad the past two years of my life ever since my wife cheated on me and had a baby with someone that was my friend. The best advice you can receive is to be strong and weather the storm, eventually things will get better you are just unable to see it right now. Trust me stay strong and talk to someone close to you. If you can't, find a psychiatrist and they will be able to help you out.

Hollyyy 0103. I'm sorry to hear that man.

[Ravens Lady]

Hi Metro,

I think sometimes that those of us with underlying mental health issues, we have them 'triggered' by something stressful, so it makes sense to me that your having been involved with the military could have had some sort of connection.

I'm starting to now see some of the connections with OCD and health-anxiety.  OCD is known as the 'doubting disease' and with us health anxious people its like hard for us to be reassured and we constantly 'doubt' that we will be okay or are healthy and we can't shake the fear..   Like with people with OCD our brains go in loops, and this is not entirely our fault I think... we have been predisposed to this type of brain processing (probably genetically) but the good news is that IT CAN BE CHANGED and that you can literally change the way your brain processes information and is wired when you quit the bad thinking cycles. 

Begin to realize that your thinking is not always reflective of reality.  This is sort of a bummer because we all want to believe we are rational all the time, but that's just not true and sometimes we allow our greatest fears to become realities *within our minds* by focusing on them and giving them life.  Then, our bodies (which are smart) follow the cues of our mind and they say, "Oh.. he thinks he's sick?  I guess I better start acting sick" and then you get the back pain and tiredness and all of these things associated with depression and anxiety or it at least is aggravated by your thinking tendencies. 

Don't be upset with what hasn't worked out yet.  You are young and you have time to pursue school and work again.  But I suggest you find someone to do some therapy with you (maybe cognitive behavior therapy?) and do think alongside of either working on going to school or getting a job. 

I don't know about you, but not working doesn't do well for my mental health OR physical health.  I tend to get more depressed and feel sicker.  Its better for me to be on a regular schedule and be involved in the world, I've noticed.  I think, no matter how difficult, you should try to get out there in the world because if you are not out there you might be like me and have the tendency to focus on your problems even more because of that extra time and mental energy to burn.  Our minds WANT to be busy and when they have nothing to be busy with, they will find something negative to stick to.   

Good for your for being involved in the military!  That's a noble thing and you should be proud of yourself.  Don't focus on the negatives.  Focus on the positives.  Look at what you have accomplished and don't let this get you down.  I think that people with anxiety and depression often are some of the most talented people with potential but we have this hurdle and its learning to deal with or manage good thinking so that we can fulfill our greatest potential.  Don't give up.   

[emma09]

ive been though this also, its very exhausting and can ruin your whole outlook on life! you have like a billion in one chance of dropping dead so it aint going to happen : )i think therapy would be perfect for you to overcome thos fears

[metroprimes00]

thank you all for the words of support! i went out to do some photography and i felt accomplished afterwards. i suppose with so much time on my hands, my internalizing aggravates whatever i have going on. i need to get back out into the world!

[Ravens Lady]

thank you all for the words of support! i went out to do some photography and i felt accomplished afterwards. i suppose with so much time on my hands, my internalizing aggravates whatever i have going on. i need to get back out into the world!

Your pictures are great!  I think there is a connection (sometimes) with people that are creative/artistic having bouts with anxiety and or depression.  I've noticed it.  Its like our minds WANT to create, and if you don't give your mind a positive project to outlet the creativity it will begin to create BAD things, you know?  The best thing for you to do is to continue to be active and involved in the world and pursue your interests like photography.

Keep it up!!