Does anyone have my "type" of SA?

[Anybody26]

I've always felt like I had a weird kind of social anxiety.  For most of my adult life I haven't been too afraid of speaking in groups, meeting new people, or a lot of other typical situations.  I'm most afraid when I'm with old friends and some family.  I usually feel more terrified of being shy than I actually feel shy.  I'm not worried about looking silly, unintelligent, ugly, or anything like that (most of the time) -- just shy.  There are these moments when I bump into someone familiar when I feel that something abnormal is welling up in me and is going to surface in the form of blushing or trembling lips or a quivering voice.  It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and then I see the expressions of the people I care about most change.  They look like their suddenly confused, alarmed and curious, like they're watching a car accident happen.  When I notice this change in them, it starts this vicious cycle and I end up spiraling out of control internally.  I walk away feeling crushed and exposed.  There are stretches where I can get through daily life okay, but I have to keep everyone at a distance so they don't mean quite as much to me.  I feel like I'm doomed to keep moving and changing who surrounds me in life.  Does anyone else have the same problem?

[underdog19]

There are these moments when I bump into someone familiar when I feel that something abnormal is welling up in me and is going to surface in the form of blushing or trembling lips or a quivering voice.  It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and then I see the expressions of the people I care about most change.  They look like their suddenly confused, alarmed and curious, like they're watching a car accident happen.  When I notice this change in them, it starts this vicious cycle and I end up spiraling out of control internally.  I walk away feeling crushed and exposed. 

I have a very similar problem.  Two nights ago I was out at a bar for the first time in a while with some old friends.  Whenever someone came up to talk to me that abnormal feeling you get that wells up to the surface in the form of awkwardness would happen.  I fight through each conversation feeling uncomfortable and it kills me because I care them and i feel like they won't want to talk to me again. or i'll worry that they'll say to themselves, "wow, he's awkward."  I was with my twin brother that night and he said that I was fine, and that I was doing great, and that all of the negative stuff about coming across awkward to people is "all in my head."  I can't wait to get this OUT of my head.

I feel the same way with my older brother, close friends, and my in laws.  I also keep my distance from them but its getting to the point for me that I cannot live this way anymore.  The relationship i have with my friends and family isn't as good as it can be.  I just have to get over this awkwardness, I'm not even sure if it is awkward.... i don't know why i give this thought so much power.  It is the only thing holding me down. 

Anyways, you're definitely not alone. 

[feelincrazy]

  " i'll worry that they'll say to themselves, "wow, he's awkward.""

Have to laugh, that's the story of my life in every social interaction, from the minute and mundane to the larger ones that cause most people some level of anxiety, for so long! Seriously, I have dealt with this social anxiety for nearly 20 years, not knowing what it was, depression, anxiety, some serious mental illness. Only recently have I done my own research and diagnosis, and it is OBVIOUS that I have social anxiety. I'm not going to take meds or anything, they look like they prescribe the same things as they do for depression (which I've been treated for, but I was depressed because I could not connect with people due to the social anxiety, doctors just never bothered to get a good history before they diagnosed). I get pangs of anxiety when I am paying for things at a store, for crying out loud! Going over in my head what I'll say when I get to the counter. Like the cashier is judging me! It's seriously so absurd that I have to laugh about it. Nobody is judging us EXCEPT US. I too experience the anxiety with my family, just this fear that I will not be funny or engaging or interesting. I often have nothing to say because I am too worried that it will be the wrong thing. I have decided that I am not going to let this fear rule me anymore. Not that it won't be there, but that I'm not going to be a slave to it. What is the worst that can happen? I'll say something inappropriate and that person won't want to be associated with me? Maybe, but doubtful. I'm going to shake during a speech? Yep, probably. People will know I'm nervous. That's OK.  I'm going to do it anyway. Eventually, the fear has to go if I keep hammering it away by facing it. I need my life back.

[Proud2BAsian]

Mine is sort of the same as yours, only I don't blush or anything like that. I just start sweating a lot and let an awkward silence sink in....

It's not too late to overcome your anxiety!



<3 proud asian

[fallencathedral]

I can speak in front of large crowds just fine and I'm fine meeting people one-on-one in structured settings. In these situations I feel more in control. I do have issues being in "mingling" situations. I tend to pull away and keep to myself. I think it's because I don't like conflict and I'm afraid of rubbing someone the wrong way. I always think about what people are expecting from me at parties and what they think of me for standing by myself while my girlfriend mingles. I'm better these days and can handle some limited exposure to these situations but I eventually need to leave before I have a full-blown panic attack.

[Ronnie07]

" i'll worry that they'll say to themselves, "wow, he's awkward.""

 I get pangs of anxiety when I am paying for things at a store, for crying out loud! Going over in my head what I'll say when I get to the counter. Like the cashier is judging me! It's seriously so absurd that I have to laugh about it.

I have the same thing about paying for things in shops. I go to the cashier and start to feel nervous and can fell myself becoming red and really self conscious. It just makes no sense, I know its all in my head!