I really need your help, it is a long post, but please read it if you can

[TheWorldISee]

I asked for an accommodation form so I wouldn't have to work past fiveon weekdays and not at all on weekends. My therapist and my general doctor came up with this as too lower my anxiety attacks, as they usually happen when we are so busy and there is just too much going on around me. I know everyone wants nights and weekends off, but I did not ask for this for fun, as silly as it sounds I actually did do it for my health!  I had my therapist and doctor both fill out forms to not work me these hours, which mean not work at night and no weekends. I have been a cashier for 12 years. It is not like I have not worked every shift in the book. I had been talking with my therapist and we both came up with that I don't need to go on disability I just need a more stable environment.  These 6-3's, 2-11's, and all of these crazy shifts are driving me crazy. I look at back at my past and the only times I usually end up leaving or heaving in the bathroom are the 1-10's or weekends no matter what shift. I used to think I could handle all the customers but I just can't. I have such a hard time holding my tongue. In any case, I don't know what to do, I am so upset I don't know whether to cry or to get mad. I feel like crying. I have been on 3 leaves since 2008 after my mom passed for numerous reasons. Sept 13-Dec 7, 2010 for adjustment to medications, including getting of my effexor....that was fun. ...NOT!...Then a year earlier to that for bulimia and therapy and to get my self under control because I was severely depressed. The year before that it was because my mom died of  breast cancer on April 7, 2008. I only took a leave for 2 weeks, I don't think I ever really grieved at all. Everyone told me she was in a better place and not to be upset, all that did was prolong and stall the grief I was going to feel. I can't help but think all of these feelings are just constant repercussions of my mom, but I know I can't blame her death on everything forever. I had a lot of these emotional issues before she died.

Incidentally, I have no more FMLA to use, and this was mentioned in the meeting where my manager said they were denying me these accommodations. I had so much proof, doctor's opinions, and I even wrote a letter stating my case.  They filled out the forms and said this was in my best interest. In any case, they were denied. I work for a large hardware store corporation, I only say that because it is not a private business, this went all the way up to the corporate HR. First off, I was schocked they didn't give me the nights. That is not too much to ask considering they denied me weekends. Then my manager asked if he thought I would be better in a different position at the store. He then mentioned recieving or price coordinator, which already have mon-fri no weekend hours. I said YES. I am strong physically and have no physical limitiations and receving would be awesome so I could lose weight go in at 4 am and be out by 1 and no weekends. Then, pricing would be 7-4 mon-friday. I don't know, however, if he was offering these or just asking if I would be willing! Like, would I have to interview? I can't stand it anymore. I am telling them what I need, surrendering, saying I value my job, but that I don't want my reliability to go down and I want to keep my job. I used to think it was the place, but now I realize it is just the instability of it all. I never know what I am working, when I am going to have off. He also said I could go part time and they would accomodate but then I would lose my great benefits, which we all know we need, LOL, or take a personal leave which does not guarentee my job when I come back. I do not want to take any more time off. I have learned first hand the idle hands are the devil's workshop. My problem is, I just don't think I am asking for much especially with doctors involved. If it were just because I did not want to work nights and weekends and making up lame excuses then that would be one thing. I am willing to wake up at 2:30 am and do physical labor all day just to get the hours I need!  I am not doing this so I can go party. I hope they don't make me move stores, but if they could offer me one or both of those positions I would be more than grateful. I am so sick of things not coming through for me. Short term disability TWICE. The second time I wasn't even going to try for it, but the case worker pressed that I at least try. Then I got denied.  I am a very blessed person and I have a great life, but I need to get my work situation under control. It is killing my spirit and my confidence. I don't want to work with the public anymore. The earlier hours at least would have decreased how much I would have too. I am kinda just ready to work alone and just go in and do my job and go home.  Any advice? Please help me, I don't know what to do. Like I said, i would be a little more excited if I knew what the whole "Would you be willing to work in a different part of the store?" meant. Like, are you sayign you will move me, or are you saying I will have to interview for this, or are you saying they have positions in stores hours away!.....

I wrote a letter to my district HR, stating in a very professional manner my concerns and how I would definitely be willing to move to a different part of the store like the ones listed above.  Another concern I have, is what if I have to stay a cashier with all these crazy hours and something happens and I yell at a customer or I have a crippling anxiety attack where I may need to go to the hospital. Who would be responsible? If my doctors are saying don't work her this, and they work me that, and something bad happens, am I responsible? I know I am for my own actions, but what if I go to the ER would they responsible for the expenses? I mean, what am I supposed to do!???