not sure if I belong here......

[coffee_ron]

Hi everyone! I'm not really sure if I belong here as I do not have an anxiety disorder, my wife does(only she won't admit). She does admit to panic attacks - been to emergency room for that one - and says she's just a worrywart. I fear it goes way beyond.....I think she may have health anxiety, but I don't know for sure and even if I did know, I wouldn't have a clue on how to broach the subject without it going terribly wrong.

A little history - my wife is epileptic, has GURD and ruptured disc in her lower back. All doctor diagnosed and ailments that doctors can "find". She is also the mother of our 2 beautiful girls(now 18 and 21) and has been a stay-at-home mom until the kids left for college/university. Our youngest left in the fall 2010 and is in first year university so we are now empty nesters.

For the past number of years, my wife has experienced a variety of ailments(symptons???) and has been to the doctor numerous times - all to no avail. The doctor never finds anything physically  wrong other than the afor mentioned items. Numerous tests(bloodwork, ultrasounds, biopsies) are routinely done and all turn up no physical evidence of any malady. Most recently, she has been complaining of a vicious headache. It was so bad I took her to emerg. She was extremely dizzy and disoriented and collapsed in the parking lot. I literally carried her over the emergency room threshhold. They ran their tests, (her blood pressure was high - in an emergency room - duh!)and found no cause for any of her symptons. The Dr. actually said that sometimes they never find a cause in 5% of the cases like my wife's.

Tomorrow, March 23, I am taking her to our GP for follow-up. My wife's headache won't go away and is now accompanied by nausea. I'm almost hoping, and feel terrible for wishing it, that she(the doctor) finds something identifiable and treatable. But I doubt it.

I know my wife's symptons are real! I see the pain in her eyes and I can do nothing to take it away. I hear the frustration in her voice when she says nobody hears her when she speaks. The hurt is mine as well when it seems they don't believe her.

I dearly love my wife, but if the doctors never find anything wrong, can this be health anxiety? How do I tell her this is what I think?

I hope someone can advise me.

I hope I've come to the right place

[pauly j]

Ron...RoN,,,RON!!

What a great husband you are, coming here looking for solutions so that you can help your wife's anxiety issues!  You are DEFINITELY in the right place!  And yes you do belong here!  I was so impressed by your introduction that I couldn't help but reply to it!  From what you described about your wife's symptoms, it does sound like she has an anxiety disorder!  If the doctors and ER gave her all the tests and found nothing, it could be anxiety that she is experiencing!  Yes the pain with anxiety is very real!  Did anyone suggest that this may be anxiety related?  I know her symptoms sound like its something more, but believe me the symptoms of anxiety can be anything from dizziness, headaches, numbness, tingling, stomach issues, breathing problems, and so much more!  Check out ALL of the symptoms of anxiety!  It is a REALLY LONG LIST! 

Welcome to the Zone!  Glad you are here!



What are anxiety symptoms?

 

Common anxiety symptoms include:

Body (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with the body in general):

Allergy problems, increase in allergies (number, sensitivity, reactions, lengthier reactions)
Back pain, stiffness, tension, pressure, soreness, spasms, immobility in the back or back muscles
Blanching (looking pale, loss of color in the face or skin)
Blushing, turning red, flushed face, flushed skin, blushing, red face or skin
Body aches, parts of or your entire body feels sore and achy, feels like your body and muscles are bruised
Body jolts, body zaps, electric jolt feeling in body, intense body tremor or “body shake”
Body temperature increase or decrease, change in body temperature
Burning skin, itchy, “crawly,” prickly or other skin sensations, skin sensitivity, numbness on the skin
Burning skin sensation on the face, neck, ears, scalp, or shoulders
Buzzing sensation in the feet, toes, hands, fingers, arms, legs
Chest pain, chest tightness
Choking
Chronic Fatigue, exhaustion, super tired, worn out
Clumsiness, feeling clumsy, co-ordination problems with the limbs or body
Cold chills, feeling cold
Craving sugar, sweets, chocolate, usual craving for sugar and sweets
Difficulty speaking, moving mouth, talking, co-ordination problems with the mouth or tongue
Dizziness, feeling lightheaded
Dizzy, feeling dizzy
Electric shock feeling, body zaps
Excess of energy, you feel you can’t relax
Falling sensation, feel like your are falling or dropping even though you aren't
Feel like you are going to pass out or faint
Feeling cold or chilled
Feel wrong, different, foreign, odd, or strange
Flu-like symptoms, general malaise, feel ill, like you are coming down with a flu
Flushed face, red face, flushed skin
Frequent urination
Head Zaps
Heart palpitations, racing heart
Hyperactivity, excess energy, nervous energy
Increased or decreased sex drive
Infection - increased infections, persistent infection
Mouth or throat clicking or grating sound/noise when you move your mouth or jaw, such as when talking
Muscles that vibrate, jitter, tremor, or shake when used
Muscle twitching
Nausea
Nausea vomiting
Neck, back, shoulder pain, tightness/stiffness
Night sweats, waking up in a sweat, profusely sweating at night
No energy, feeling lethargic, tired
Numbness
Numbness tingling, numbness and tingling
Numbness and tingling, and other skin sensations on hands, feet, face, head, or any other places on the body
Persistent muscle tension, stiffness
Pounding heart, heart feels like it is beating too hard
Pulsing or throbbing muscles. Pulsing or throbbing sensation.
Rib or rib cage tightness, pressure, or feeling like a tight band around the rib cage
Sexual Dysfunction, sexual uninterest
Shooting pains, stabbing pains, and odd pressures in the neck, head, or face
Shooting pains in the face
Shooting pains in the scalp or head
Skipped heart beats
Sore or tight scalp or back of the neck
Startle easily
Sweating, uncontrollable profuse sweating
The floor feels like it is moving either down or up for no reason
Tightness in the ribs or rib cage area, may also feel like a tight band around the ribs or rib cage area.
Tingling sensations, anywhere on the body, including the hands, feet, legs, arms, head, mouth, chest, groin area
Throat or mouth clicking or grating sound/noise when you move your mouth or jaw, such as when talking
TMJ
Trembling, shaking, tremors
Twitching
Unsteadiness, dizziness, feeling dizzy or lightheaded
Urgency to urinate, frequent urination, sudden urge to go to the washroom (similar to urinary tract or prostate infection symptoms)
Warm spells
Weak - feel weak, weakness, low energy, light, soft, like you may faint
Weak legs, arms, or muscles
Weight loss, weight gain
Chest (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with the chest area):

Chest tremors, trembling in the chest, chest feels like it is vibrating
Chest pain or discomfort
Concern about the heart
Feel like you have to force yourself to breath
Find it hard to breath, feeling smothered, shortness of breath
Frequent yawning to try and catch your breath
Heart Palpitations – beating hard or too fast, rapid heartbeat
Heart - Irregular heart rhythms, flutters or ‘skipped’ beats, tickle in the chest that makes you cough
Pounding heart, heart feels like it is beating too hard
Rib or rib cage tightness, pressure, or feeling like a tight band around the rib cage
Emotions (see mood) (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with emotions, mood, and feelings)

Fears (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with fear):

A heightened fear of what people think of you
Afraid of being trapped in a place with no exits
Constant feeling of being overwhelmed.
Fear of being in public
Fear of dying
Fear of losing control
Fear of impending doom
Fear of making mistakes or making a fool of yourself to others
Fear of passing out
Fear that you are losing your mind
Fears about irrational things, objects, circumstances, or situations
Fears of going crazy, of dying, of impending doom, of normal things, unusual feelings and emotions, unusually frightening thoughts or feelings
Heightened self awareness, or self-consciousness
Need to find nearest washrooms before you can feel comfortable
Need to seat near exits
Head (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with the head):

Burning, itchy, tight scalp
Dizziness
Dizzy
Dizziness or light-headedness
Frequent headaches, migraine headaches
Feeling like there is a tight band around your head, pressure, tightness
Head, neck or shoulder pain, tightness/stiffness
Head zaps, head tremors
Giddiness
Numbness
Numbness tingling, numbness and tingling
Shooting pains, stabbing pains, and odd pressures in the neck, head, or face
Shooting pains in the face
Shooting pains in the scalp or head
When you close your eyes you feel like are beginning to, or will, float upwards
Sore jaw that feels like a tooth ache
TMJ (Temporo-Mandibular Joint) - clenching of the jaw or grinding of the teeth
Hearing/Ear(s) (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with hearing):

Feel like there is something stuck in your ear, that your ear canal it plugged or blocked, that there is a pebble in your ear that you can't get out
Low rumbling sounds
Reduced hearing, frequent or intermittent reduced hearing or deafness in one or both ears
Ringing in the ears, noises in the ears, noises in the head
Pulsing in the ears, throbbing sound in the ear(s)
Tickle or itch in your ear that you can't seem to get at
Mind (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with the mind and thinking):

Afraid of everything
Altered state of reality, consciousness, or universe feeling
Deja Vu, a feeling like you've done or experienced something before
Depersonalization
Derealization
Desensitization
Difficulty concentrating, short-term memory loss
Difficulty thinking, speaking, forming thoughts, following conversations
Disorientation
Fear of going crazy
Fear of losing control
Fear of impending doom
Feelings of unreality
Frequent feeling of being overwhelmed, or that there is just too much to handle or do
Having difficulty concentrating
Nightmares, bad dreams
Obsession about sensations or getting better
Repetitive thinking or incessant ‘mind chatter’
Short-term learning impairment, have a hard time learning new information
Short-term memory impairment, can't remember what I did a few days, hours, or moments ago
Spaced out feelings, feeling spaced out
"Stuck" thoughts; thoughts, mental images, concepts, songs, or melodies that "stick" in your mind and replay over and over again.
Trapped in your mind feeling
Underlying anxiety, apprehension, or fear
You often feel you are carrying the world on your shoulders
Mood / Emotions (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with mood, emotions, and feelings):

Always feeling angry and lack of patience
Depersonalization
Depression
Dramatic mood swings (emotional flipping)
Emotionally blunted, flat, or numb
Emotional "flipping" (dramatic mood swings)
Emotions feel wrong
Everything is scary, frightening
Feeling down in the dumps
Feeling like things are unreal or dreamlike
Frequently being on edge or 'grouchy'
Feel like crying for no apparent reason
Have no feelings about things you used to
Not feeling like yourself, detached from loved ones, emotionally numb
Underlying anxiety, apprehension, or fear
You feel like you are under pressure all the time
Mouth/Stomach (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with the mouth and stomach):

A ‘tinny’, ‘metallic’ or ‘ammonia’, or unusual smell or taste
Aerophagia (swallowing too much air, stomach distention, belching)
Burning mouth, feeling like the inside of your mouth is burning, or tingling, or like pins and needles, or all of these together or at different times
Burning tongue, feeling like your tongue is burning, or tingling, or like pins and needles, or all of these, or all of these together or at different times
Choking
Constant craving for sugar or sweets
Constipation
Diarrhea
Difficulty swallowing
Difficulty talking, pronouncing certain letters or sounds, mouth feels like it isn't moving right, slurred speech
Dry mouth
Feeling like you can’t swallow properly or that something will get caught in your throat
Feeling like your tongue is swollen
IBS
Lack of appetite or taste
Lump in the throat, tight throat, something stuck in your throat
Mouth muscles twitching/jumping
Mouth or throat clicking or grating sound/noise when you move your mouth or jaw, such as when talking
Nausea
Nausea vomiting
Nausea or abdominal stress
Numbness
Numbness tingling, numbness and tingling
Stomach upset, gas, belching, bloating
Teeth grinding
The thought of eating makes you nauseous
Tight throat, lump in throat
Throat or mouth clicking or grating sound/noise when you move your mouth or jaw, such as when talking
TMJ
Tongue symptoms - Tingly, “stretched,” numb, frozen, itchy, “crawly,” burning, twitching, “jumpy,” aching, sore, or swollen tongue (when it isn’t).
Urgency to urinate, frequent urination, sudden urge to go to the washroom
Vomiting
Skin (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with the skin):

Burning skin sensations, skin sensitivity
Numbness
Numbness tingling, numbness and tingling
Skin problems, infections, rashes
Sleep (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with sleep):

Difficulty falling or staying asleep
Frequent bad, bizarre, or crazy dreams
Hearing sounds in your head that jolt you awake
Insomnia, or waking up ill in the middle of the night
Jolting awake
Waking up in a panic attack
You feel worse in the mornings
Sight (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with sight):

Distorted, foggy, or blurred vision
Dry, watery or itchy eyes
Eye tricks, seeing things our of the corner of your eye that isn’t there, stars, flashes
Eyes sensitive to light
Spots in the vision
Flashing lights when eyes are closed
Your depth perception feels wrong
Touch (anxiety symptoms commonly associated with touch):

Burning skin sensations, skin sensitivity
Feeling cold or chilled
Numbness
Numbness tingling, numbness and tingling
Pain
Tingling, pins and needles feelings
Other anxiety symptoms are described as:
Being like a hypochondriac, muscle twinges, worry all the time, tingles, gagging, tightness in the chest, tongue twitches, shaky, breath lump, heart beat problems, head tingles, itchy tingling in arms and legs, and so many more.

In addition to these anxiety symptoms, you may also find yourself worrying compulsively about:
• Having a heart attack
• Having a serious undetected illness
• Dying prematurely
• Going insane or losing your mind
• Suddenly snapping
• Losing it
• Uncontrollably harming yourself or someone you love
• Losing control of your thoughts and actions
• Being embarrassed or making a fool out of yourself
• Losing control
• Fainting in public
• Not breathing properly
• Losing control of reality
• Choking or suffocating
• Being alone



These are some of the more common anxiety symptoms. This list isn't exhaustive.

[Cuchculan]

Welcome to the forum. It sure sounds like health anxiety. They are the quickest people to run to ER. They like to have many things checked over. But there is never anything wrong with them. Getting her to admit to it though. That is another day's work. Because to some there is a lot of shame and a bit of guilt about it all. Kind of like they feel silly and don't really want others to know what is going on. So they tend to stay very quiet about the whole thing. Just getting her to open up would be a great thing. Because she needs help. And help is out there. But we always say that the person has to want to get better and want to get the help for themselves. In other words they can't be pushed into it. She has to want to tell you everything. Then accept her problems. Then want to get help. It is something that can be sorted out if only she opened up to you more about it. Great help available out there.

[coffee_ron]

Thanks for the replies. Wow!!

That list is incredible. We are going to the Doctor this morning(she's feeling better this morning by theway - nausea gone, headache fading but still there). Looking at the list from Pauly J, I see a lot of symptons my wife has been exhibiting. She told me last night she had been self-diagnosing on the internet and was scared at what she could have.

I often find myself unsure of how to respond. I know she craves reassurance and sometimes all I can do is just wrap arms around her and hold her. I tell her it'll all be OK and we will find an answer to what she's going through. Idon't want to minimize her feelings - they are real and so is the pain she feels.

My girls ask me "what's wrong with Mom? Why is she always sick?". I have no answers.

I often feel guilty myself for being healthy. I never seem to get sick, and that irritates my wife sometimes. It can be a source of friction as she reminds me"you never get sick - you don't know how I feel"

I try hard to be supportive, but it's tough some days. I call home at regular times through the day just to let her know I'm thinking of her and to see how she's doing. It makes me feel connected - I'm a truck driver - but home every night. I sometimes dread the phone calls, shameful as it may be to admit it, because I don't know if she'll be having a good day or not. Her health and hence mood can change in an instant it seems.

I asked her this morning if she ever feels anxious about her health. She actually admitted that yes she sometimes is. Could this be my opening to start a dialogue about anxiety? I hope so. I know i'll have to be tender and gentle if we are to openly discuss the possibility it is anxiety she is suffering from. Hopefully I have the strength to do it - and not let my fear of what her response may be stop me.

Thanks again for the support I've found here!

[tigerpaw]

I know you will find lots of support here. Let me remind you you can access the Chat Room, after a minimum amount of posts and talk live to some of us here!  A great resource for you.

Also you can post your favorite picture in the Members Gallery.

Check out an introductory post on, "When you think no one understands ....read this."........Link: http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,9100.0.html

Lots to do here~