my situation (age43) is this a typical scenario?

[TonyL1]

Hi all, this is going to be a tough situation to explain about how this all started, and where I am now,
My illness started in 1989-90 at age 22, ( but even earlier there were things that weren't right , like fatigue)
so of course very slowly, my problems got worse, (I'm sure this is typical in many Agoraphobics) so after
going undiagnosed ( the late 80's and early 90's weren't great for diagnosing anxiety in my case, so I went
undetected, my major problems at the time was the fatigue and the weak-spells that caused me to become
housebound , I could go out, but only if assisted and sometimes outings would work out, other times they wouldn't
I still have rarely ventured anywhere unassisted , aside from short bike rides or quick trips. I have never driven
or taken a bus( I live with my father ) ... now since 1999 the year I was finally diagnosed with anxiety, it's only gotten worse, Tried every med in the book to no avail, so what's happening is a vicious cycle of anxiety,fatigue,GAD, chest pains
daily, hyperactivity, then tiredness, basically my body is all over the place and unpredictable.... eg I can't work or
function on my own, now since my father who I have lived with since 1985 is aging , I now have severe adult separation  anxiety disorder.
I don't drink, smoke,& have zero caffeine intake , my diet is good, no junkfood, I take vitamins. just seems the more I do to help myself, the worse I'm slowly getting. But I'll keep trying lol

Your friend in Anxietyland, Tony!

[Duckie]

Hi Tony:  Welcome to the Zone:

My anxiety and agoraphobia started when I was 22, too!!  It's many years later and I'm still fighting the good fight, with some of the years being good, and some not so good.  It's difficult when we're housebound to have any energy, because we don't get much exercise, short of doing housework, etc.  About a year ago, I got myself a treadmill, and I've been on that thing ever since, and it's helped ALOT in the engery department.  I seem to have energy to burn nowadays, and I really think it's helped to get me out of the house, too. 
Aside from eating healthy, etc, have you done any desensitization, or relaxation techniques?  Have you done any reading about your disorder and what to do about it?  Have you had any cognitive behavioral therapy?  All these things would be really helpful in getting your life back. 
Hang in there, and start yourself on the road to recovery.............It's all worth the effort, I promise!!

[pauly j]

Hey Tony,

We are nearly the same age and I have had anxiety just a little longer than you!  Looking back I could remember myself as a 7 year old, calling my mom at work, telling her to come home because I couldn't breathe and felt scared!  I always thought that I had a breathing problem or asthma cause it felt like I just couldn't get a full breath!  Later, when I was older, I never had asthma after going to the doctors for tests!  I think my anxiety may have started at that age, but who knows!   Anyways, have you ever tried therapy before?   I know you say you tried every med in the book with no avail!  Did you really try them ALL?   I mean, there are quite a lot of em out there!  I personally know of at least 30, not counting the benzodiazapenes!  But I think I know what you're saying!  It can be frustrating to have to go through so many meds to no avail!  Maybe if you persist a little more you may be able to find something that does work, or a combination of things that might work!  There are some new antidepressant meds that are being newly released!  Give it a go!  Keep trying!  It can only get better!  I hope it does!

pauly j

[29sillygirl]

Hey there,

Your path is familiar to me.  You are right re anxiety disorders generally not being caught early a couple of decades ago.
Glad that has changed now, as often we were diagnosed with depression and given meds that might have increased our anxiety.  At least that is what happened to me ..back in the 70s.

I'm  familiar with trying and failing to tolerate many many antidepressants.  Currently I take clonazapam daily, and try to get out each day if only for an errand or two.

 After 3 years of being virtually housebound due to life's events (retirement, cancer, death of a son), I have recovered a joy for life.  A lot of my support came online in another forum and now AZ.  Lots of us here with anxiety issues.  Plenty of support and experiences.  Keep posting ...join us in chat. 

[TonyL1]

quoting Pauly-J   "I know you say you tried every med in the book with no avail!  Did you really try them ALL?   I mean, there are quite a lot of em out there!  I personally know of at least 30,"

 I think that's close to the number, not all have been tried due to not being able to afford them on Disability in Ontario called ODSP, which gives me a drug card, but doesn't cover all drugs ( like Gabapentin) , but when I mean and say I've tried a SSRI, MAOI etc , I'm not talking, like I took it for 3 weeks then gave up, I gave many of the meds, good long runs like 8 months+ etc 

[mommyL]

Gosh Tony, you sound so much like me its scary. I became ill with this back around 89-90, got a diagnosis of panic disorder with agoraphobia when I stopped being able to leave the house without having a complete meltdown. Some let up a year or so after that, and I slowly started to emerge back into world, and became quite independant for about 10 yrs, with only occasional attacks here and there. Then 30 hit, got a virus, and was stuck in the house again with high anxiety and fatigue, lated for months, then things got better again. Things were better for another 10 yrs, was working, driving (in my town, still refused to travel), doing school with my kids, and only occasional attacks. Then 39-40 hit, all hell broke loose, tremors, fatigue, legs shaking, tingles, numbness, very tight leg muscles. I have been stuck in the house this entire year. Was that a virus, was it MS, nervous breakdown, who knows, had all the tests nothing showed. Still stuck in the house, major fatigue, legs feel tight, tingling has stopped for the most part, but still get muscle twitches and other weird symptoms, so I dont feel like I'm going any where.

I'm sorry you all have been dealing with agoraphobia, its very sad to me, and I wish that I could make it go away for everyone.

Take care, and yes Tony, you should join us in the chat room.

Robynn

[TonyL1]

another thing that really disturbed me ( and still haunts to this day) is that my 2 brothers and mom for most
part ( going back to early 90's here)  is that everyone thought I was a drop out who didn't want to work
a job, it took years and a few trips to ER to sink it in for 1 brother and mom, 2nd brother wants nothing to
do with me, ( I'm too poor on welfare for his high lifestyle ) he lives 3 miles from me, hasn't visited me in
10 years.. , the acceptance and discrimination of hidden illnesses , especially
mental health issues, is horrific at best, I'm sure a segment of society would just love to see us jailed or euthanized..
so what if I live on 1000 a month disability welfare,  it's all I got to hang on to for life