The NEW HA challange- Please join and lets help each other succeed!

[floridaguy65]

http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,28969.msg222213.html#new

Here's a great thread in the Success Story Section...please read, if you will:)

IMHO, we should be checking this section frequently, looking for positivity and reinforcements that, yes, some solace can be had:) It seems to be lightly posted upon, though:)

Peace:)

[briteyes1002]

Yeah we are a bulletin... :) now lets keep this going... 5 more hours till my therapy appointment...

[crazygirl1]

still not googling, even though my chest has been feeling a little uncomfortable. Normally I'd think lung ca... and start googling but I'm not. I'm gonna be a normal person about this and say oh its nothing and continue on with my day.

[floridaguy65]

still not googling, even though my chest has been feeling a little uncomfortable. Normally I'd think lung ca... and start googling but I'm not. I'm gonna be a normal person about this and say oh its nothing and continue on with my day.

You don't have lung cancer. But, if you did Google, you'd find something to panic about:) Not googling is such an awesome way to break into the cycle of fear that overwhelms us, often. You have Googled it ALL by this point, anyway. That elusive "make me feel good at all times" website, probably would have popped up by now, if it even existed:) For some reason we just think it'll be there THIS time and give us our assurance:) But it ain't there:) Now Googling relaxation tips and good well-being info is welcomed:)

Your chest discomfort is, most often, how your personal anxiety issues manifest themselves:) They have passed before...and they'll pass again. Say, "My lungs are clear and my chest is free to breath deeply and carelessly...anxiety cannot relly harm me":) Do this while breathing deeply and let your body chemistry take over, allowing you to fully realize this exercise:)

You're gonna make it CG:) Keep up the good work!

Peace and Feel Well:)

[Cabbage]

I am so happy to see all the positivity on this thread with all of trying to take some action to heal instead of fanning the flames of our anxiety. I got thru the wait for my pelvic MRI by not googling "ovarian cancer" and instead, emailed several supportive friends to pray for me. I got an "all clear" report with one more test remaining. The MRI was a bit tough and shook me up but I got thru it none the worse for wear. I look forward to reading everyones progress. Good luck to all.

Briteyes how did you make out at the shrink? I would love to hear about any suggestions they may have made.

[briteyes1002]

I hate to show negativity on this thread- but the therapist I went to yesterday was awful. I went to him because he was covered by my insurance and had hours that worked with mine. We we in a room that looked like I was in a prison cell with old office chairs, white walls with nothing on them and a little desk. I swear I knew more about phychology than he did. I told him that my thoughts were in a never ending cycle and I just need to learn how to stop them... he says to me "than just stop thinking about it".. REALLY? Come on guy, if I could would I have wasted the last ten years of my life putting myself through this? I was so discouraged when I left.

On the upside- I do see a great Phychologist tomorrow that specializes in hypnosis,bipfeedback and CBT so even though he his not covered by my insurance and is $150 an hour (obsurd) but I have great hope that he can get me started on the right path. :)

I have my cardio MRI tomorrow- I am not fearful of the MRI its self but I am hoping that we can figure out whats finally going on with my chest pains. ( Hope not cardiac related) but whatever it is I am ready to take it head on and except the diagnosis.

How is everyone else?

[floridaguy65]

It's not negativity K:) It's real life experience with HA....and that's helpful for the greater cause, eventhough, it might not be so helpful for you right now:) Not all Docs are good with this stuff, for sure. But when faced with this type Doc, we have analyze what's happening and maybe move on....keeping in mind that HA peeps can tend to Doc hop, too, looking for that quick fix:) But inevitably, we have to do what seems right for us at any given time in moving down our healing path:)

Glad ur test is tmoro:) From there you can make some vital decisions about ur healing path:)

And, super great about seeing the other therapist:) Going in with a positive mindset is soooooo key, as well. Believing your are about to be helped and believing that you are about to receive some solace is vital. Lasting solace doesn't come instantaneously, but the good vibes you can feel after a session can sure help you gain momentum in wanting to carry on with much hope and enthusiasm (calmly, of course:)

Cabbage, great news about ur testing!:) The physical nature of testing can be a bother, sometimes, too..glad u did well:) More awesome that u didn't google! See u didn't need it ONE bit:) Like I always say testing only gives us temporary solace until we are able to get squarely on our healing path:) So let's keep on truckin' for seeking out those ways that CAN bring us that lasting relief:)

Peace and Feel Well, K:)

[briteyes1002]

Wlp, I am off here it a few to go to my cardiac MRI- everyone wish me luck  than later on to the "good" therapist... lets get the healing and recovery process started 

Hope everyone is soing well..

Oh and I just recieved the book "hope and help for your nerves" that you all suggested... I am going to read it in the waiting room... Thanks again for the suggestion.

K

[floridaguy65]

Hey K:) Good luck, my dear, with your test:) Awesome that your book came in, and right before your test. That is a good foreteller of things going your way:) Enjoy the book and do read it while waiting...that book was my "bible" for a few years, long ago:)

Peace and Feel Well:)

[floridaguy65]

In the spirit of "recovery" from time to time, it might be good to pull from some other thread things that might be beneficial for us to think about and consider. Here's one:)

Previous post:
(From Elephant 2/24/11)
"It's hard, i go from one cancer to another DAILY. What i hate the most is the intrusive thoughts, you're sitting there doing something you like them BAM. A random thought comes into your head that you have cancer and it completely ruins your day/week/month or even year. It's like i can't control my thoughts, it's so hard. Hopefully we can all overcome this soon."

My response:

Hi E:) I feel ya':) But, those random thoughts do not HAVE TO ruin your day / week / month/ year or LIFE:) This is a major, major key in "recovery"...for finding some solace. I, too, have these thoughts (quite often, sometimes), and I, too, can't always keep them from creeping (or rushing) into my mind. But, what I have been able to do, through being diligent to my healing path, is I have been able to remove the dominating fear from these intrusive, negative thought processes. Our brains have been "rewired", so to speak, to accept that these negative thoughts have a highly probable chance of coming to fruition...when, in fact, the opposite is, overwhelmingly, the outcome. Forget about how we "got" HA for a minute, I don't really care that much about the genesis of it all, for this discussion. In the most basic beliefs about "recovery", to me, seeing that our minds have been "rewired" towards the negative...doesn't it seem, at least, that we might have the ability to take measures that would foster the "rewiring" of our minds back towards the positive? For me, the answer is, unequivocally, YES!:) We can take measures to remove the DOMINATING fears from our lives. I did NOT say get rid of anxiety...I said get rid of the DOMINATING fear that, most often, accompanies HA. I can (and DO) live with anxiety almost everyday of my life, but no longer does it create very real and tremendous life challenges for me. No longer does it create MAJOR obstacles that I, once, believed I could never overcome. It is NOT easy to "rewire" our brains towards the positivity of acceptance and trust and change the way our minds perceive things, but it is there...this I fully and truly believe with all my heart, soul and mind:) And that was half the "battle", FULLY and TRULY believing I could make a difference in my own life:)

Peace and Feel Well:)

It might be a great topic for discussion to talk about this "rewiring" of our minds:)?

[jojo1976]

Hello peeps! I'm an on again/off again HA adventurer.  I have very little right now, and am feeling pretty good but today was one of those days where a new stress symptom popped up and instead of Googling, I came here.  I know exactly how this goes and saw where it was going - feeling a new sensation I never have before, thinking too much about what it could be, trying to to put a label on it...wondering if I should look it up.. today, I decided to stop it in its tracks. I know it's my anxiety. I know it too will pass. So, I logged in here to check in and love this post! :)

I know what it's like to be lost in the seemingly never-ending swirl of anxiety sensations and horrible feelings it brings, sometimes for months/years on end. I also know what it's like to completely recover and move on with life.  Well, recover at least until my brain tries to trick me back into it.  Not gonna happen today!

[floridaguy65]

Hi y'all:) Just some random parts of some posts I've written...maybe they can provide some insight or comfort:) Thought I would add some every now and again and hope some others feel that they might be able to add some quips and good thoughts, on occassion:) Peace:)

Part of another post:

Again IMHO, this is an awesome mindset to have while seeking out a healing path:) Taking care of our bods is paramount to us HA peeps. As we feel our bods are "failing" us, somehow - someway, if we can tax our physical self through exercise, we are taking steps to prove to our "foggy" anxious minds that our bodies just might not be so bad off. Through repetition of these actions, it can begin to build up the solid foundation of: "maybe I am physically OK...maybe I don't have something awful growing in my body (a tumor)...maybe I don't have ALS / MS...maybe my heart is NOT going to give out, actually". If there really was something horrifically wrong with our bodies, then we wouldn't really be able to put it through the rigors of a diligent, taxing exercise regimen:)


Another part of a post:

Historically (and there is ALOT of history on my side:), us HA peeps do NOT gain long-term solace from med tests and Doc visits. Almost invariably, when the next little bit of amped up fear rushes in our lives, we will find some fault in the Doc or the actual testing process, eventhough this wonderfully effective test was done just a short while back. Our reasoning for this doubt of the med tests or the doubt in the Doc's true desire to help us is all over the place with pretty random assumptions and wild speculations. But, these assumptions and speculations are right in line with all the other negative thought processes that can "muddy up" our overall outlook of our health...so they really aren't unexpected while we are in the grips of HA. The times that I have afforded my self the soundest and truest long-term solace was when I was able to push through a health fear and NOT race to the Doc or ER or seek out another med test. Mind you, my mind was still kind of working against me...that little voice chirping in the back of your head is there. As, I've said before, I can't willingly always keep the negative thoughts out of my head...this is part of having HA...and I expect this to happen from time to time. But when this occurs, I increase my anti-anxiety reduction techniques, I read in my journal that I have been down this road before (and back then I, too, thought that I REALLY HAD SOMETHING WRONG:) and I focus on alleviating the dominating fear...reducing my worries from worst case scenario to "been here - done that - nothing is going to happen to me". Each and every time I'm able to push through a health fear, it builds confidence in my ability to trust myself:)

There is hope and there is help:)

[floridaguy65]

In an effort to add to this HA Challenge, I copied a portion another post here. It's from Chinaski87:)

The entire thread is here:)

http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,38460.msg227190.html#new

3 most helpfull things to combatting anxiety over the past month I have learnt are:
1. When you leave the house and feel highly anxious. Do not turn back and go home. Continue on with your journey for the day no matter what. You have to get used to doing this, and once you do, it makes so many things a lot easier.
2. Accept that what you are suffering from is anxiety and nothing more. Your mind will often try to trick you into thinking you have a worse mental condition or are physically ill due to the symptoms you get when you are anxious (They always go when your mind is truly at ease). This is highly important. You need to really cut the what if thinking in the bud when it arises by just accepting that you have anxiety and nothing more.
3. When you are feeling really on edge about something such as physical symptoms or worrying thoughts when you are at home. Go sit or lay down and do a guided meditation tape (You can buy them in stores or download them online). Preferably one that involves breathing exercises and a body scan. It really helps. Or get out of the house. Go for a long walk or catch a bus somewhere. A Change of scene really works for me.
4. Exercise. I find this helps me in so many different way. I would recommend walking, running or cycling. Something that involves getting you out of the house. I go for a long bike ride every evening and this is also really good for routine. I go at the same time every evening so I have something planned/to look forward to every day. You want to exercise until you are completely tired out. You get home have a shower and sit down on the sofa and your body and mind are just so exhausted that you become a lot more tranquil and at peace.

Hope some of this helps you guys. Like I said I am far from recovered but when you are feeling low remember there is hope. I was convinced my life was over and I would never be the same again

[floridaguy65]

Here's another nice post...this one from Christomcneil:)


Well,
I'm in the middle of fighting a stubborn bout of HA. I thought I'd write down a few of the things I've noticed about myself, my state of mind and how HA manifests with me.

1) even though this is my 3rd major cancerphobia attack in 4 years, the insight from the previous HA experiences does not immunize you from future attacks. I try hard to remember that I felt JUST like I do now on the previous occasions, and I overcame the HA.

2) For me, depression, anxiety and (amplified) physical symptoms conspire and work together to drag my thoughts towards irrational fear. Challenging these thoughts (even saying the challenge out loud) is important.

3) I cannot "snap out" of HA, but I am not powerless in the fight against it. Focussing on fighting the HA is more productive than focussing on the 'disease'

4) My instinct with HA (and my low mood) is to isolate myself, so I (try) to do the opposite, and force myself to chat to people

5) I spend a lot of time at the computer (at work) so "googling" is a constant challenge. As is focussing on work. I could write a flipping book on how damaging looking at the internet has been for me. I could go on the internet to prove I didn't have e.g. cancer of the hair  , find that 1 person per year on the planet gets cancer of the hair, and come away feeling worse.

6) Taking anti-depressants doesn't hurt, and might help me. It's difficult to judge your own progress during HA.

7) Floridaguy is absolutely right saying that solace isn't found in an MRI tube. I have skipped diseases in the past when given an unambigious all clear on a particular fear. That's not to say avoid doctors, but my challenge when I see my GP tomorrow is to balance talking about H Anxiety (as a mental illness that I suffer from) with talking through my health fears (i.e. the bit of me that wants every flipping test invented done right NOW!)

8) I have a terrible habit of thinking I KNOW BEST! This probably comes as I am a scientist, and think I know better than "mere" medical doctors. Learning to trust your GP is very important, I've got a good one now, but I'm plagued by the usual thoughts - "Did I tell him all my symptoms? Was he listening? He seemed distracted! My symptoms have changed! An MRI would make it all better!"

9) My mood changes with the winds, but in general evenings are better. Exercise helps, but I'm tending to be hypervigalent about my running performance (e.g. I'm more tired on the treadmill today - arghhhhh!!!)

10) a bottle of wine miraculously cures me of HA for 2-4 hours, followed the next day by a deep depression that is truly awful. I'm being really quite good about avoiding self-medicating with alcohol. 4 years ago I wasn't as good (bottle of wine most nights). Not good at all, but when you feel so wretched as I did that time, any release was very tempting.

11) this site has some genuinely helpful posts (see Stickies) and I'm thankful to all the people who take the time to reply. At the moment I do try and avoid posts with symptom lists though as I can easily catch symptoms by reading them.

12) in my opinion, depression and HA can ABSOLUTELY synthesise genuine physical symptoms beyond those of adrenaline. I have experiences this with a chronic headache without a doubt. Knowing this should help.

I'm 36, and I'm a hypochondriac.

[Deekon]

I am going to stop thinking about how I am feeling all the time. I noticed when I don't think about my dizziness and brain fog, I don't notice it. So instead of waking up in the morning and thinking about how I feel. I am going to to think about something else, anything else!

[RohnboSlice]

I promise not to google any diseases while I am sleeping. 

Honestly, not googling has been the single best thing that I have done for myself with this HA. I have gone totally google free for at least one month. OK OK OK - I have been to several doctors during that time, but at least I am seeking out good information from reliable sources.

[mbenso]

It's simple... Which do I choose? Perceived ill health or actual mental health. The answer of course is my mental health. Last year was wasted worrying about disease, something I really don't want to repeat again this year! I've become quite good at simply brushing off weird physical symptoms, I don't feed my anxiety by googling and I stay occupied....I'm not cured but I'm doing so much better.

[floridaguy65]

It's simple... Which do I choose? Perceived ill health or actual mental health. The answer of course is my mental health. Last year was wasted worrying about disease, something I really don't want to repeat again this year! I've become quite good at simply brushing off weird physical symptoms, I don't feed my anxiety by googling and I stay occupied....I'm not cured but I'm doing so much better.

Awesome that you're doing better:) Yes, indeed...we do have to brush off the "weird" physical stuff that anxiety can lay upon us....accepting our anxiety is key. But, though accepting, we, most certainly, don't have to resign ourselves to have to live with the big 'ol nasty fears that can come along with anxiety....that we can work on through our healing path:) With practice of brushing off those physical manifestations, through acceptance and trust (trusting mostly in YOURSELF that you are the keeper of your well-being and that you know nothing is really seriously physically wrong), the occurrence and severity of the symptoms can, and often do, diminish:) To me, I don't strive to be "cured", anymore...I work diligently and calmly in keeping my anxiety manageable and to keep it from interfering with my lifeflow, as best I can. Through remaining faithful to my healing path and the actions, activities, habits and thought processes which make up that journey, I am able to enjoy a pretty free-flowing life that isn't really dramatically encumbered by anxiety, anymore:) Keep on keepin' on, M. Great job not letting Google influence your mindframes...Googling truly is detrimental to us when seeking out some lasting solace:)

Peace and Feel Well:)

[Cercy]

I finally managed to convince myself there's no possible way I've contracted Rabies. And if I did, somehow, I'd end up in medical records and totally change the face and understanding of the disease so at least I'd go out with a bang? 

Then, I immediately switched to a fear of cervical cancer and instead of letting that get at me I went and had a pap smear THAT DAY. Ended up getting an IUD while I was at it. And I started Zoloft the same day. I'm sick of thinking I'm Sick. No more, dammit.

[bizness]

I am pledging that I will not google any symptom, medication, or anxiety disorder for a week and ending on Friday, March 25th, 2011.  I will also visit a restaurant or bar establishment this weekend and not get dizzy or lightheaded and think it is because my blood pressure is going too low or I have some kind of a disease that is showing up everytime I go to a restaurant or bar setting.  I will not pay any attention to it and will force myself to feel positive.  I will let the group know how I do on Monday. 

[briteyes1002]

Sorry I have been gone for so long I ended up having to have the heart catheteraztion done last week and my head has been spinning. No bloackages were found but they still can not rule out the coronary artery spasmns ...grr... so frustrating- but trying to stay positive about it. The physologist is going good and I started on Paxil which has seemed to help me in the positive directions... now as soon as we can figure out my chest pains we should be good to go!

So glad to see people are still posting on here. Keep it up !

K

[fashiongrl]

I love this thread :)

For me the big thing is no more google! It's been almost two weeks and I haven't done it. Instead, I come here and always feel better than if I would have googled.

[ashcrash85]

Checking in from on the road in Las Vegas!


I've been...meh...ok but not great. I have managed to NOT google any symptoms. I have done TONS of walking and taking stairs over the past 3 days so I am trying to show my mind that the fact that I haven't died yet is proof I'm ok heart wise. But then I randomly get the palps that feel like my heart is skipping or pounding then skipping when I inhale and I'm like "oh sh^%, something is wrong!" Now, I will admit that while I'm walking around or climbing stairs I'm always anxiously thinking "omg my heart is beating faster (or pounding); so maybe once I sit down and chill out then my anxiety causes me to feel these? Who knows, but they are the one thing standing in my way at the moment.

[CaffeinePoet]

My challenge is:

As of today April 5, 2011, I have blocked health news related websites. I will NOT permit myself to unblock those sites until August 5, 2011. (I will be coming off of klonopin in one month and this is 3 months after that.). I will follow my alternatives when I am having anxiety:

1. Workout at the gym in my neighborhood.
2. Go for a run (I train for 5k's).
3. Log onto AnxietyZone. My health problem is anxiety, it is not the other things I fear.
4. Bid for a freelance job (I do freelance writing and web design)
5. Write a new web application
6. Apply to a job online (I am looking for a FT job)
7. Watch/rewatch favorite tv shows/movies.
8. Read/reread a compelling book.
9. Go out with a friend.
10. Write something new, a how-to, a piece of fiction, etc.
 

[Cabbage]

All wonderful posts here! I have not googled any health sites of any kind for almost 6 weeks and it has made all the difference. I have had "symptoms", but not giving them a disease has made them so much shorter. I really feel for everyone here who is struggling. Hang in there! Remember that Anxiety is a thief and a liar.