Help! Obsessional Jealousy is controlling me!

[St@rChild777]

I been dealing with my jealousy for a few years now and it has been driving me crazy. It has become a part of me and something that I have to deal with every day. I always wondered if my jealousy was too much, so I looked up different types of jealousy. I fall under the obsessional category. To describe it in simplest terms Obsessional Jealousy is when a person will have repeated, strong thoughts that their partner is being unfaithful. Although deep down they might not believe these thoughts, they cannot stop thinking them, and these thoughts can soon become both distressing and destructive. That is exactly what I am dealing with. I am constantly thinking that my boyfriend is thinking or looking at other girls. I have checked his emails numerous of times expecting to find something. I am constantly worried about who he is text messaging when he does recieve a text. I started thinking this way ever since I found out he was flirting with a long distance friend. He admitted to me he was wrong when I found the text messages that were being sent but that still wasn't enough for me. It began to affect me a lot. I would question him almost every day to try to find out new information but he still would tell me the same thing. I kept telling myself that maybe he was lying and I couldn't just get myself to think he was telling the truth. That was a year ago and I still can't help the fact that I still obsess about the situation. I don't bring it up anymore because it was really affecting our relationship but I just keep it inside and it is very hard for me to open up to people about my jealousy because they don't understand how much it is eating me up inside. Before my current realtionship I was going out with a guy who was very disrespectful to me. He was always looking at other girls in front of me. He was constantly adding girls numbers to his phone. He was always making sexual comments about girls on Televison. This unhealthy realtionship is also the reason why I feel I am the way I am today. I have grown to be a very closed and insecure. My reason in writing this blog is so I can share my thoughts on my obsessional Jealousy with anybody else who feels they need someone to talk to. I would love to here some related stories. I know I am not alone but a lot of the times I do feel that way and I am hoping that I can recieve some advice that can help me change the way I think. Thank you for taking the time in reading my story.

Sincerly,
St@r