Can anyone tell me about the ca.. fatigue?

[crazygirl1]

Hi. Iv'e been posting about this since last monday. i'm feeling much better-no fever or fever feelings, not much dizziness ( thoughh  little ) but still tired. I googled ca... fatigue last week. I dont remember exactly what it said besides ca.. fatigue usually comes on quickly. WHat i read didnt say how quickly-what time frame. In fact it didnt say much and I stopped googling there as i had a panic attack. Can anyone tell me about the ca.. fatigue?as i said yesterady i now my mom had it but hse was stage 4 when dx adn passed away 8 months later. I never knew exactly what kind of tired she felt.
I'm tired lately-really tired. Mostly late afternoon  which is common for me but then agaon much more so around dinner time How do i know this isnt ca.. starting???????

[starr77]

I think its the kind of tired that you cant even get out of bed to go to the bathroom,i mean EXTREME fatigue. I'm sure it just anxiety making you feel tired,i get this allot but surprisingly it doesn't freak me out. I know anxiety can take a toll on your whole body. Often after a really bad day my whole body aches and by 6pm I'm so tired I'm ready for bed! (hugs)

[starr77]

I just called my foster mom,who had cancer but has been cancer free for 3 years now! She said the fatigue wasnt a huge problem until she started chemo, and thats what made her so tired she couldnt get out of bed. Hope that helps a little? From what i read its more the treatment of cancer than the cancer itself that causes the extreme fatigue.

[floridaguy65]

Hi CG:) Millions and millions of peeps are very tired late afternoon / dinner time. We've worked all day, played all day, interacted all day, thought all day, stressed all day, Googled all day:), etc. Cancer as a cause for being tired is WAAAAAAAAAAAY down the list of things of which you should be concerned. With our HA, our PERCEPTION of our aches and pains and tiredness is, very often, askew. All these things are filtered through our Anxiety Disorders when we are in a period of hyper-alert, and what pops out of the other end is, most often, foggy and irrational ideas of impending doom. Accepting that they ARE foggy and irrational thoughts is the key, IMHO...don't get mad and try to stop the thoughts, this can lead us to more angst. If our thoughts are tempered and don't lead us into panic, then they will loose their ability to create serious stress and diminish in their severity and frequency, IMHO. Your trigger is the passing of your Mom from cancer. You see this happening to you...and you leaving behind your beautiful daughter. It is this underlying fear of leaving behind your daughter that causes you the majority of your anxiety. You think, "When I die, how will my daughter make it...how will she ever cope without Mommy?" "So, I must worry and I must be ever soooo vigilant in staying alive". I had these same thought patterns myself...and they can create tremendous anxiety...this I know. So what can we actually do about this? Aside from all the amazing anxiety relief techniques available, I'd like to talk about the MEDICAL things you can actually do. You can go to the Doctor for your REGULAR checkups and bloodwork and cancer screenings. Aside from this, what else can we do? To me, the answer is nothing. By being conscientious (not irrational:) about our cancer screenings, we can really make a difference in early detection (if we ever even get cancer:). And, if we do get cancer, chances are that it will be caught in time for a positive outcome to be VERY realistic. Modern medicine advances are dramatic and there are more and more cancer SURVIVORS each and every year!:) It is not a death sentence a lot of the time. But, with HA, we will believe worst case scenarios to be the rock solid truth, most often, and we will continue to fall victim to the faulty thinking that HA can lay upon us. That is until we can seek out our own healing path and afford ourselves some much needed solace:) It is NOT easy (my goodness...it is NOT easy!), but you can do it, too:) What is the alternative?:)

Peace and Feel Well:)

[crazygirl1]

star77--thats what i was afraid of-that the "tiredness" couldnt really be distinguished from other kinds of tired. I was HOPING it was something you'd not be able to mistake. I shouldhave known better though asd I"ve often read some ppl's 1st clue to something being wrong was their being more tired.



Floridaguy--thanks so much, I really need to bookmark this, as yoru post is something I need to re-read...i cant bookmark though..anyway

I realize everythign you say is right, adn true. I'm having a hard time getting myself started on teh right path here though. My mind is stuck on the" I must worry and I must be ever soooo vigilant in staying alive" part, adn in making sure ca... isnt sneaking up on me. How do I start? How do I start is the question. I'm so glad/thankful that you "get" my worry. Its somehow helpful that someone knows how this all started for me ( cant miss it though as I repeat it all the time LOL) this is like online therapy for me...sicne i cant ahve the real thing.
FLoridaguy-how did you recover so well from HA? How did you deal with the thought patterns?

[floridaguy65]

You asked, "FLoridaguy-how did you recover so well from HA? How did you deal with the thought patterns?"

Well, I have not "recovered" from HA...it is an ongoing process for me to continue on my healing path. I try to remain true to my key tenets...acceptance, understanding, education, compassion, self-help techniques and having a self-created purpose in life. I have posted numerous times of this (probably to the boredom of many:) Meds and brief therapy have played a role, previously, as well. I suffered from Panic Disorder for many years, prior to HA, also. Though, I'm sure I had HA tendencies concurrently with my Panic Disorder. I can recall my first panic attack (and those feelings of terror and imminent death) as clearly as I can see myself in the mirror today...and that was 25 years ago:) I have had many "minor" setbacks throughout the years, but I don't see them as failures (now:)...I view them as reinforcement that I can, indeed, be calmly and fully diligent in my anti-anxiety techniques and I can create most of my own destiny and positive energy. As with many things in life, we get better at them with practice (practice in living with ADs) and we understand things with better insight the more learn to accept what we do, actually, have control over in our lives. Sounds simplistic, maybe, but it took me much trial (and time:) to get to where I am today. I am absolutely no smarter, no stronger and I'm, surely, no more "special" than many of the other peeps here on this forum. Maybe, I've been only a little more diligent, perhaps, at picking myself up and dusting myself off and trying again and again and again until my anxiety didn't dominate my life....I don't know. Dominate is the key word...I STILL have anxiety daily:) It wasn't easy...it still isn't easy. I don't wish to be mindful every single day of my life that I need to take calm action to address my anxiety, but I've come to realize that it is much better than the alternative. Nope, I'm not "recovered" and I don't ever fully expect to be. I can't even imagine what the word "recovered" actually means to me. What I do know is that I have accepted who I am and I have accepted where my life's path has brought me to today...I cannot go back in time and change one thing I did or said or thought. So, I don't waste that precious mental energy, anymore, blaming this or that for what's transpired in my life. I take full responsibility for my own well-being. Through the years, I have learned that I will be highly disappointed if I allow my innate happiness or my personal "freedom" (from anxiety, and other things) to be predicated on others and their actions or words. My words to you are included here...you'll not find true lasting peace and solace in my words...finding a healing path has to come from within each of us, as we are all so different in our own experiences. So, I try the best I can every single day to do the best I can...what else can I do:) And I'm happy:) But, again, I am mindful everyday that I do have an Anxiety Disorder(s) and I accept that it might be this way for the rest of my life. And I'm OK with that, finally:)

[starr77]

Well i think if you have enough energy to type on here, and even enough energy to worry this much,its not fatigue due to cancer. Like i said its a EXTREME fatigue,you cant do anything even get out of bed to go to the bathroom etc.

[floridaguy65]

Hey CG, do you journal at all? Writing things down sure can help, IMHO. Postive affirmations and uplifting quotations can be added, too, aside from your daily thoughts and feelings and symptoms. Tape in funny comic stips, too, maybe:) Start slow, if need be...but it might a great experience for you to see what you write. Your insightfulness might, just, amaze you:) We hold the key to our solace, ourselves:)

There is a line in an Eagles song:

"So often times it happens, we live our life in chains and we never, even, knew we had the key"

I get moved to tears, sometimes, when I really think about what this means:)

Peace and Feel Well:)

[crazygirl1]

Floridaguy....cant thank you enough really for your taking the time to help me each & every time I feel I'm on the edge-about to fall off. A shame we cant bookmark anymore but I did manage to send myself a copy of your posts here so that I can refer back to them as needed. I'm stating journaling and I think it will help.
I realize I have a long way to go, it becomes even more clear to me each time I have a "scare". Amazing how anxiety hides in the shadows and seems to pop out when I'm paying attention to something else.
I can do this, I quit smoking and I had my doubts I'd be able to do that..and that was hard to take the 1st step. I can do this too....
so-anyway that tired feeling has gone,I'm now feeling my usual tired-the tired you feel when you go to bed too late, which I did last night, so its ok...so now that i can think -it's time to start something to find a healthy way of dealing with this anxiety, and I think journaling is a good start. Thanks again...I very much appreciate you:)

thank God the zone is back-i had trouble for like 2 days I couldnt get the site up and I almost panicked lol

[shubunkin]

My mom was diagnosed years ago with stage 4 colon cancer and died 9 months after diagnoses. She was NEVER tired before she as diagnosed. She was always going and very active. It was teh chemo that brought her down. I too get tired.......i think its that anxiety and constant worry along with depression here and there. it will wear you down. I will be tired one day and the next full of entergy. So i tell myself that cancer does not work that way. I would just be getting progressivley worse.

[crazygirl1]

omg I'm so sorry for your loss. I too lost my mother to colon ca, she too was dx at stage 4, and she too passed away 8-9 months after being diagnosed. She was tired, very tired before she was dx, but I just cannot remember the details of her tiredness, and so I posted looking for details...
I know my anxiety wears me out but the tiredness I was feeling was definitely different. I am feeling fine now, so I'm attributing it to some virus or something like a flu even though my dh and dd didn't get it. I am also praying it doesnt come back. I hear what you're saying-that if it were ca it would progress.... and I know you're probably right but I just was sure thats what it was and that even if i did feel better, I was sure it'd come back. Here I am feeling better, but still wondering in the back of my mind if it will come back.

[floridaguy65]

Hi CG:) You're welcome:)

To try to keep in mind that you've had a deep fear of cancer ever since your Mom passed. So, you have had some pretty good run-ins with your HA and the physical symptoms they can bring, for some time now. And, like you said, cancer would progress. When faced with another round of pretty amped-up HA, always try to go back in your mind and remember that you've been down this road several times before and there has been NO cancer. So, NO cancer now. With your prescribed cancer screenings, if you EVER, EVER, EVER get cancer, you'll be able to catch it, treat it and beat it, I'm sure:) Again that is if you EVER get it, to begin with:) I promise cancer is not out there looking and lurking for you...but, your HA sure is. And, it'll jump at any chance it gets to make you feel "crazy", once again. For most of us peeps with HA, it seems to all come back to that small little voice in the back of our head, simply, whispering faulty logic to our, often, fragile minds. Mainly the voice says, "You better not let your guard down or I'm gonna POUNCE...I'm gonna get you and take you from your family!". Me personally, I still get that little voice, here and there, and I've been in a "good place" with my Anxiety disorder(s) for many years, for the most part. Of course, I have setbacks, too:) My point is, don't fear that little voice that fibs to you...he is not your friend. Accept that he will be able to creep into your mind, every now and then. Hear what he says (we have little choice over that:), but then push the fear out as quickly as the thought came in. This is what I do...I'm able to accept them, but I'm able to accept them as ONLY faulty, irrational thoughts. I can't always stop the thoughts from conning their way into my everyday life (little control over when they pop up), but I can, nearly invariably, stop these thoughts from dominating my life with fear. I don't know, but I feel that, many times, us HA peeps have such a great aversion to those negative thoughts that can, somehow, find their way into our minds. This aversion is understandable because, here come the thoughts, we panic, we fear the worst case scenario, our mind races, we get the physical symptoms and, then, more neagtive thoughts and, soon, we are fully hyper-anxious and ready to go to the ER or write our own obituary. IMHO, we must accept what the voice is saying, embrace them as being part of our makeup and understand that they can really do us no harm, as they are only thoughts. After fully accepting that they are only faulty thought processes, we can learn how to stop the "anxiety cycle", before it races out of control and leads us to our, supposed, untimely death. I do know that it is NOT easy to "rewire" our brains to accept instead of fear, and it takes much patience and much calm, diligent practice to get to this ability...but, the point is - it IS there...this ability. And, I honestly feel that when we get on our healing paths we can seek out much solace by this acceptance of that dumb (yet powerful, sometimes) little voice whispering in our, often, fragile ear:) We can do it:)

Peace and Feel Well:)

[crazygirl1]

 ok today I'm thinking about starting a journal. Silly question though-its been so long that I really dont know "how" lol what do i write about? i'm nto fearing i have ca.. at this moment, so what do I do?

Hi CG:) You're welcome:)

T Mainly the voice says, "You better not let your guard down or I'm gonna POUNCE...I'm gonna get you and take you from your family!". Me personally, I still get that little voice, here and there, and I've been in a "good place" with my Anxiety disorder(s) for many years, for the most part. Of course, I have setbacks, too:) My point is, don't fear that little voice that fibs to you...he is not your friend. Accept that he will be able to creep into your mind, every now and then. Hear what he says (we have little choice over that:), but then push the fear out as quickly as the thought came in. This is what I do...I'm able to accept them, but I'm able to accept them as ONLY faulty, irrational thoughts. I can't always stop the thoughts from conning their way into my everyday life (little control over when they pop up), but I can, nearly invariably, stop these thoughts from dominating my life with fear.

see that? how are you able to push the thoughts away...how do you convince yourself that what you're 'hearing" is that nasty little voice of HA? Instead of something like intuition? When I hear that little voice I listen and I think to myself-"if I don't listen this time-this will the time..."the time"... so I'm afraid to ignore it, even though sitting here relatively calm today I realize that what I hear  is the voice of my anxiety. In the moment though I'm like omg-i have to listen, someone or something is trying to get my attention.... I cant ignore any symptoms for if I do---I will surely be taken from my daughter. On some level I am certain there were symptoms my mom had that should have raised red flags. She had a drinking problem before her dx. The loss of weight -I attributed that to her drinking and not eating right, but it was the tell tale sign and none of us realized it . The signs she must have had prior to that even were "masked" by other illnesses she had ( ulcers, a stomach surgery, diverticulosis)SHe'd go to teh dr. only to be told it was from the surgery she had or from the divertic. or this or that when in fact they were signs of colon ca.... that was late 90's though before it was made a big deal by Katie Couric, and who knows if it could have been cured had it been found then anyway.
In writing my hour long tales here I've come to see more clearly ...what i feel about having lost my mom is behind every HA thought/scare i have. To me it seems I make progress whenever I see something a lil more clear here lol.
So ok here goes...I have to try to accept that this is who i am. I think seriously crazy thoughts that most "normal" ppl don't think about. I'm scared to death of being taken from my daughter, but Im here today,im healthy today, im doing the best i can today adn that means not smoking too, thats a big one:) I can do this.. Just ahve to figure out what little steps to take 1st.