Im thinking too much! questioning if i really love her!

[GSW HooPs]

Hey guys im posting here because iv been in a relationship for the past 10 months and up until recently i was damn sure i loved her...i still think i do as thoughts of her consume most of my thoughts and i can still talk to her for hours at a time on the phone without getting bored of her. Im not a very emotional person and im in a semi long distance relationship...i only see her twice or three times a week. Add to that im not a phone person and i just quit smoking..i think these may be reasons for dis connect ive been feeling from her. This past weekend i saw her friday saturday and sunday. Friday was a tremendous day we spent the whole day and had fun...saturday i was suppose to be out there early so we can go spend the day with her parents but i didnt make it til late cuz of my anxiety issues and needless to say she was upset and we didnt talk much..i satyed the night over her parents house so i can go to church with her family in the morning and i was having the most intense withdrawal symptoms from not having a cigareete ever so after church i left(i couldnt smoke around her parents) and she was upset cuz i left before was planned and came way later than we had planned...so the weekend was a little awkward cuz we didnt talk much and it was out of her character to ignore me as she was doing. So this week i decided to quit smoking and havent really felt like hanging out with anybody or talking to anybody and i started getting kinda like annoyed when she called me and i was feeling guilty cuz she wants to comfort me and when she called i felt annoyed.

[GSW HooPs]

I really dont think its her at all...but my anxiety is making me thing a lot...it gives me alot of anxiety to think that i dont love her. When im with her usually i dont feel disconnected at all. I just feel bad that im even questioning it..is it normal to question? has anybody ever gone through this? Like i dont have classic movie symptoms of love like all goo goo gaga eyes and stuff like that but she makes me happy when were together. And in my heart i would love nothing more than be with her forever...but i guess whats bothering me is i just dont feel that feeling everybody says u get when your in love....like butter flies and an overwhelming feeling of passion i guess everytime i see and talk to her...my sister (who is married) says that this kind of stuff happens in relationships and its just that the relationship isnt as "new" anymore and that were just getting used to each other. I mean i do get excited to see her but i just dont get excited to talk on the phone (again im not really a phone person) i also just lost my job and i have entered a new faith as a christian so a lot of changes have happened to me at once...do you think this anything to do with it? i believe its all in my head and im thinking too much...im really scared to lose her and im scared to hurt her...please help with any advice.

[Godfrey]

I went through this a while ago, actually.  I think it's pretty common with anxiety disorders; you question whether or not you "really love" people etc.  What you're going through is, I think, perfectly normal for us.  It's just over thinking, especially with all the stress you've gone through lately.  ESPECIALLY if you've just quit smoking.

Just try not to "pick at it" (that's actually great advice for anxiety.  XP)  There's also the fact that being in love is different from falling in love; it won't feel as exciting, I'm sure, but it's no less deep or meaningful.  Just because you don't feel like your stomach is full of butterflies and you don't get a rush of passion all the time doesn't mean you don't love her.  In fact, it actually kind of sounds like you really DO love her.  Hell, would you be this worried about it all if you didn't?  That was the logic that got me through it, anyway.  ^^'

[GSW HooPs]

thanks godfrey, thats kinda what my sister said. She said if i was falling out of love with her i wouldnt care what she was doing, wouldnt care if she called me or not, and i wouldnt care that i was feeling dis connected, and she also said that long distance relationships will do this as well. The awkward weekend kinda carries over from the last time i seen her since i can only see her on weekends..im going to see her tonight and im kinda anxious/excited to see what happens. I really kinda want to just smoke one ciagarette cause i feel with losing my job, searching for a job, on top of quitting smoking may be a little too much for me to handle...with my anxious mind lol.