I need help, please reply

[hamsterswheel]

Hi Guys

I am struggling with some fears and wondering if you can help me out.

Firstly I am worrying about lymphoma. I feel either side of my neck, if I turn my head to one side, what feels like an area that is harder. I'm not sure if these are just normal muscles or if they are huge lymphnodes?

Then I am also worrying about pancreatic cancer. My back feels achy a lot and I am worrying incase it wouldn't be picked up during my abdominal ultrasound and abdominal mri as I heard its hard to detect?

I've had about 4 sets of full bloods done since sept and all have been 'perfect'. But again I am worrying that they just wouldn't show something amiss to do with these fears.

Can you help me? I'm trying not to ring my doctor.

[floridaguy65]

Hi Hamster:) Sounds to me like you've, simply, got a good ol' case of HA churning currently. I know there's nothing really simple about HA, though...so, I feel your angst:)

With 4 sets of full bloodwork recently....all "perfect"...there is absolutely no reason for you to be logically worried about Lymphoma...your WBC would be through the roof, it's my understanding. But with HA, it's tough to be logical and that "what if they missed something?" flares up, which is VERY common when we are in the grips of a high HA period.

Pancreatic Cancer is way down the list of things Docs suspect when you just say "my back feels achy a lot". Why would you jump to that worse case scenario? Have you been googling "symptoms"? How's your appetite? Have you lost much weight lately?

IMHO, you need to focus on your overall anxiety levels and seek out some solace from your HA:) What do you do on a daily basis for some relief?

Peace and Feel Well:)

[hamsterswheel]

Hi Floridaguy

Thanks for this.

Well on the pancreatic c. I lost about 8pounds when I was really stressed but because I have been worrying about C I have been eating more and I have actually gained all of the weight back. In a matter of about 3 weeks and have even put on a couple of pounds more. The downside of this is that I actually could do with losing about two stone but I am too scared to cut back and exercise incase my anxiety makes me convince myself even more of C.  I also still have an appetite. I am guessing that if there was something wrong with my pancreas tho it surely would have been seen on my abdominal mri and ultrasound? When the ultrasound report came back it said pancreas 'normal'. But would pancreatic C show as something being wrong in these tests?

I am so sick of this. Does everyone have big muscles in the sides of their neck?

Thanks

[bradley1]

I also worry about pancreatic cancer. I think we pick those things that we know are hard to detect and treat because they are the most scary. When i had an abdominal ultrasound 2 yrs ago they couldnt see my panceas due to air in my stomach ( i have hyperventilation syndrome) but the radiologist mentioned it so i have focused on it ever since knowing it was the one organ they didnt reasure me about. I also had/have pain in that area through to my back but thats probably the air! Would routine bloods pick up anything that would indicate pancreatic cancer? My bloods have all been clear too. Lymphoma would definately show in your bloods and if uve had a clear scan i dont think you need to worry.
We all share these fears and i think that in itself is reassuring that its the anxiety playing tricks on us!x

[floridaguy65]

You asked?, "Does everyone have big muscles in the sides of their neck?"

Everybody is different physically...what is "normal" for one isn't for another. I have naturally very broad muscular shoulders...but small calf muscles. IMHO, your PERCEPTION of your "big" neck muscles is what's askew...and this is very common with HA. Our perception of what is "normal" is generally off kilter. And then, we create hyper-anxiety fretting over what we perceive we should be feeling or how something should look on our bods. This is part of HA. So, if you get over your concern over your "big" neck muscles or your fear of Lymphoma, then there will be another concern following close behind. It's not until we get a grip on the overall condition of Health Anxiety and find some ways for solace from the overall anxiety, as to when we will find relief from the barage of fears that come our way.

Are you on any meds? Therapy? Do you practice any self-help techniques...breathing exercises, visualizations, meditation, etc...to help with general anxiety. Can you read literature that shows us how HA roots itself in our fears and insecurities? Having a deeper understanding of how HA operates is part of the healing path, as well. There is hope...that is certain. We do have to be quite calmly active in seeking out our own healing path, if we expect a chance at some solace. Peace and Feel Well:)

[Carryon]

Ask yourself why do people enjoy back and neck massages? It's because those muscles tighten up and spasm from stress and poor posture, especially too much computer time. More than likely this explains your muscle problems. Yoga and Pilates are good techniques for relieving muscular stress and toning the neck and shoulder muscles so that they are more resistant to stress. Additionally, neck muscle tension can cause headaches. Acupuncture is also a good way to get immediate relief from muscle problems. Massage is also good but maybe too aggressive for people not accustomed to it.

Good luck/you don't have cancer/forget about that.

[marc]

My daughters friend was 19 when he was diagnosed with Stage 4 Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had symptoms
for many months and went from 210 to around 160 pounds. He is fine now after treatment and is back in
college. Pancreatic cancer is predominately a disease of individuals over 60 and more so over 70 years of
age according to my GI physician. If I was a betting man, I would be you have neither of these diseases based
on the symptoms you are having.

[shade]

These are actually very common illnesses feared by us suffering with HA. Cancer in a young person is rare. Lymphoma has many other symptoms that arise along with or even before any lymph nodes would be felt. Either way, you would feel very sick with both of these diseases. And who doesn't have back pain, ya know? That is simply just a part of life! You are fine!

[hamsterswheel]

Thanks everyone for helping with this.

I feel nausea a lot of the time too and it just worries me that I could have one of these things.

[Mtorrhypo]

I can totally relate to your fears hamsterswheel I fear lymphoma the most!! I currently can feel two small nodes on the left side of my neck towards the back! I am actually having an ultrasound tommorrow. The doctor said that I do not really need it but that he is sending me for one just to ease my fears! They are small (pea size) squishy and moveable. I dont think you have nothing to worry about! I have noticed that lymphoma is a very common fear amongst us!! I think that Cancer in general is something that all HA people fear. I know it is hard to do but try to relax! I recently saw this episode on dr. OZ that talked about pancreatic cancer and he said that the number one cause for pancreatic cancer is having diabetes!! He also said that drinking pop more than twice a week increases your risk, as well as being african american, and being over the age of 60!! I dont think that you have pancreatic cancer!! nor lymphoma!! do you have night sweats? fever? itchy skin? the nausea i beleive is due to anxiety!! The mind is a powerful thing and the more you dwell on diseases and symptoms the more likely you will start to beleive that you have those symptoms!! This happens to me I get hot at night because I go to bed anxious and wondering if i am going to get any night sweats because if i do that must mean i have lymphoma!! and the funny thing is i actually do get hot at night because of this, but when i go to bed relaxed and meditate i sleep just fine!! I know its hard but i try to think about what my therapist tells me!! She says that it is pointless to fear disease and death, because in the end we all die!! You can't hide from death, because death can come anytime, and anyplace. We were born to be on this planet temporarily and one day we must all go back home. All we can do is enjoy the present moment, becasue that is the only thing that is certain. She also tells me that if i spend my life fearing death then I am not living, and if i am not living than that means that i am pretty much dead maybe not physically but mentally and emotionally. I know its hard and beleive me I am going through my health anxieties and fears as well luckily we have great people on this forum that help us and check us back to reality!! 

[CrownofThorns]

I am struggling with some fears and wondering if you can help me out.

Sure!

I have one area in one side of my neck that feels harder because when I sit, I'm always leaning to that side. So, it could be your posture. Your back, same thing. You could be sleeping funny and not know it. A lot of these aches and "hard" areas are usually muscular issues.

If your past bloodwork has been perfect and you're worried a scan will miss something, why bother wasting your time? No matter what you do, you won't believe a test that comes back fine, so why keep going back?