Hi 1stforme,
Hey, don't feel badly about bucking the verdict...I did it for many years. It is hard for some of us to come to terms with it. I mean, who really wants to have a mental health issue? I definitely understand your situation at work. There are lots of people who have no clue about this disorder and therefore may pass judgment because of lack of knowledge. There are many famous people with anxiety disorder...you'd be surprised. Funny though, for many of us, it doesn't interfere with our ability to do our job. Some do have issues with having panic attacks when having to give presentations etc, but that can be easily dealt with either with CBT or in a lot of cases ativan and/or a beta blocker. After you go to your general practitioner, we can talk about what medication he thinks you should take. Remember there are lots to consider and maybe you will be one of the lucky ones who can handle this without medication. I certainly did for years.
Quote: I am full of questions....the most important of those questions for me now ie this....will it get worse?
I really want you to understand that this disorder does not have to get worse. The most important thing you can do for yourself is get help. Go to therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy has proven to be really beneficial to many of us who suffer from this disorder. The medication the ER doctor gave you, Ativan, is great for right now and let's see what your GP says or even better, a psychiatrist or psychologist has to say about medication. I, personally, do well on medication but it took hitting rock bottom for me to even accept the fact I had this disorder, let alone take medication for it. I was determined though to feel better and carry on a decent life, so I went the meds route and frankly I'm glad I did. I am able to do things I couldn't before and even though I still struggle with certain things, I certainly wouldn't be able to do half the things I'm able to do without the help of medication. If you look at meds as a tool that helps you have a productive life rather than just a drug then it puts it in the right perspective. If you do have to take meds then another way of thinking about it is that if you were diabetic you would take medication for that, so why not for anxiety. It is important to get past the old stigma associated with mental health. It is so prevalent in society today that in a way it is surprising that the stigma still exists. Some people look at it as a weakness. I look at it as strength. Look how hard we have to work to hide that we have this and yet we still carry out our jobs and usually we are perfectionists so actually do our jobs better than most. We tend to be great actors too because we don't like people knowing the fear we feel.
So any questions you have, please don't hesitate in asking because you don't have to suffer with this disorder as long as you are willing to do the work and come to terms with it. There is lots of help and if needed medication. You are definitely not alone and I'll bet there are others at you work who have this disorder but they are just keeping it to themselves for the same reasons you are. It was funny, when I finally admitted to myself and some close friends that I had GAD with panic, it opened up a new chapter in my life. Through these friends I found others who had anxiety disorders and/or depression. All of a sudden, it seemed like most of the people I knew had the same or similar diagnosis. All it took was one person opening up and then we all found out we were hiding this. Who knew!? Believe me you aren't alone and even if you aren't able to talk with your closest friends about it, you can with us. So, fire away..