New here and I think I belong on this board

[queenofquirky]

Hi everyone,

About three years ago, I started experiencing severe medical issues. I was bounced from doctor to doctor. Most didn't have an answer and the ones who did said, "It's all in your head - see a shrink". I insisted something was wrong, and I was right. I eventually landed with a rheumy who listened and ran the right tests. I was diagnosed with several complex and dangerous medical issues. The majority are genetic or are complications of the genetic conditions.

Unfortunately, I developed severe anxiety and panic throughout the course of this endeavor, which isn't all that unrealistic, but it's definitely impacting my life.

I've really been through the mill - therapy, meds, workbooks, computer websites, etc. I'm not on meds for anxiety at the moment because I have issues metabolizing them. I end up with very strange (sometimes serious) side effects.

I feel like I need to constantly mentally coach myself through the anxiety and panic and it is fatiguing and quite frankly I just feel like telling my brain to "get over it". I become obsessed for days at a time with the most ridiculous notions. For example, my leg hurt the other day - my legs always hurt because I am in constant pain, but this time I concluded I had a blood clot that was going to dislodge and become a PE. I hop on one "crazy train" after the next because I feel this need to constantly be worried about something. It's almost as if I function "best" (and worst!) if I'm in crisis mode.

Can anyone recommend any additional resources I may not not have tried yet? This board seems like it will be very helpful. At the very least, I'm glad there are others who feel the same way. Actually being chronically ill has compounded my situation immensely. Sometimes I don't know when I should take myself seriously.

[mjd30]

Are you still in therapy? If not, I would consider trying again. Many people find success with CBT, but I prefer ACT and recommend a book called the Happiness Trap. I have mentioned it numerous times on the board but I swear by it! Lol. It did wonders for me. Yoga and meditation are good as well as mindfulness techniques.

I'm sorry to hear about what you have went through. Doesn't sound like fun, and it is understandable that your experience would lead to anxiety. Hopefully, things will get better for you.

[queenofquirky]

I had little knowledge of ACT until recently, actually. Thank you for the book recommendation. I was in therapy with a counselor through my university for a few months, but she suggested I take a break because I didn't appear to have any "clear goals" and in a university clinic setting, you need to have "clear goals". I do better at just talking and processing things rather than aiming for specifics. I was incredibly unsuccessful with other clinics my insurance accepts, mostly because I am a psych major and the therapists I was matched with were ridiculously incompetent, in my opinion.

[mjd30]

I've been to my fair share of incompetent therapists! Lol. So I can relate.

[benefit]

Hi!

I kinda understand what you are going through.  I hate to share these experiences on this board bc I dont want to freak people out, but two yrs ago I was having a problem that all the docs misdiagnosed and finally I found help through a physical therapist and it was finally diagnosed the right way about a year ago.

That issue has mostly been resolved but I still have lots of nagging anx that something similar is going to happen again. I really dont have any answers on how to get rid of it. I was always anxious though even before the issue 2 yrs ago and it just made me worse. Its scary realizing how lonely an illness can be. however, i dont want to lose my whole life to the fact that that happened to me.