Hi:) See below post I wrote in response to someone asking the same question....I copied it here to your topic. Peace and I hope you feel well:)
Re: Do any of you feel like just giving up and
« Reply #7 on: January 04, 2011, 05:32:00 PM »
I'm no "enlightened one"...that is for sure. All I can do is offer some experiental info, as it has helped me in my dealings with Anxiety Disorder(s) that began 25 years ago:) There is no "right" way or "wrong" way in how to life our lives (we can't do harm unto others, though...that is bad, of course:). Having the ability to choose our path in life is a freedom that is an indomitable gift. ACCEPTING where you are NOW in your life is crucial, eventhough you might have desired a different path to get you to today. That different path would have been preferred without freakin' Anxiety Disorders for us, though, I'm sure:) In acceptance there can be calm and peace...in reliving all the negatives in your past there is anxiety and turmoil.
You said, "I have been an angry, worried, jealous person all of my life. And I hate it."
OK...I accept your statement. I'm not going to try to change this perception you have, I am not going to protest you expressing these feelings and I don't want to leave this discussion because you have this view of your life. But, what I choose not to accept is that you can't begin to move forward on your healing path. Short of severe mental illness, it is within us all...this I truly believe. If you desire to become a happier person (my contention is that you probably have some happiness now, but it is shaded from the sun, so to speak:) and progress positively in life to where you think you ought to be, then you might have to form new habits. I'm not saying immediately DROP your current habits, that takes much too much energy, and ALL your current habits aren't bad, of course:) We do need much of our available energy, though, to embrace the new positive habits which, also, prohibit counterproductive habits that are formed out of inaction. Inaction is the devil in disguise. Creating good habits, those that affirm your healing path, can ultimately expell the bad habits that create anxiety and disorder, to an impressive extent. A habit can be an activity, an action, a process, a way of thinking, a way of reacting, a way of perceiving, etc. A habit is not just smoking cigs.
I have learned, through much trial and tribulation, that I was wasting precious time and, previously mentioned, needed energy reflecting on my worries about events and, supposed, misgivings from others that happened long ago (and perhaps, even yesterday, I suppose:). As we know, the past is set in stone...unmovable. But what we can move is our perception of the past, to a degree. Though we prefer some things to not have happened, if we can take our experiences and use them to frame and, then, direct where we want to go in life, perhaps our past can be viewed through a different, more positive, filter. Angst is created when we wish to change what has already happened in our lives. Angst is also created when we know we could do more, ourselves, to improve our current situations, but are fearful of the "what ifs" and, inturn, nearly paralyzed into inaction. And again...inaction is the devil in disguise. And angst is not good for us anxious peeps, too:)
The "why me?" will get us nowhere, though it did give me some twisted comfort, I suppose, in laying the blame upon everything imaginable. There actually is no blame that should be laid. Whatever the genesis of our Anxiety Disorder(s), blaming this or that is very counterproductive in getting to where you want to go. Understanding what the genesis could have been is completely different and can be therapeutic, in cases, perhaps.
Life can be enjoyed regardless of our circumstance, I firmly hold this tenet dear. In our circumstance, we have Anxiety Disorder(s) and it can be a debilitating nightmare, sometimes, and it can be a mental and physical obstacle course filled with, unseen, traps. But, if we ACCEPT our disorders there can be solace. Acceptance is NOT resignation. I will accept that my Anxiety Disorder is part of my fabric...part of my makeup, but I will not resign myself to defined by my AD. I will ACCEPT that these feelings, thoughts and symptoms will pass and they can really do me no harm, but I will not resign myself to being idle and I will calmly seek out methods for some anxiety relief. Acceptance that there are anxiety reduction techniques that can help, but only if they are performed. Acceptance that I am the definer of my well-being and it's in my hands to create my "recovery" journey. A healing path is there. I don't have a magic pill that makes you accept. But, I do know that with practice, practice and then more practice (and then more practice:) of "accepting acceptance" you can begin on your path that takes you where you want to be. There are far wiser and more educated folks that have studied and written about how acceptance is a MAJOR tenet to alleviating the grip of Anxiety Disorders. I might suggest those doctors and authors insightful readings. I didn't invent acceptance, of course...but I do live it. And it works:) There is ALWAYS hope!:)Peace and Feel Well:)
Here's the entire thread:http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,35454.0.html