Rant About Panic!

[raynebogurl]

I AM SO FREAKING SICK OF HAVING PANIC DISORDER!  I AM SICK OF IT CONTROLLING MY LIFE!  I CAN'T EXERCISE CUZ I'M AFRAID TO GET MY HEART RATE UP!  I'M SICK OF BEING AFRAID THAT I'M GOING TO DIE FROM A HEART ATTACK!  I'M SICK OF BEING SCARED THAT I'M GOING TO FAINT!  I'M SICK OF THE AGORAPHOBIA AND NOT BEING ABLE TO TRAVEL!  UGGGGHHHH!  I WISH THERE WERE A CURE OR BETTER TREATMENTS!  I'VE BEEN ON SO MANY MEDS, YOU THINK THAT ONE WOULD WORK.  I AM TIRED OF THIS!  Ok, end of rant.

[insomniacdj]

I know it's rough, but you have to try to fight it, there are a lot of things you can do to help your panic disorder, and if meds aren't doing it try other things. Relaxation techniques, yoga, therapy, etc. Most of the panic attack problems are there because of your thought patterns.

[Duckie]

I second and triple your rant, Rayne.  I feel exactly the same.  I've been battling this disorder for many, many years, and I'm sick to death of it!!!  I wish there was a magic pill, or a magic thought that would take it away for good.  Honestly, it breaks my heart that so many people suffer from this..........
But for me, acceptance is a big part of recovery.  Relax, accept, and do what you need to do to get better.
Have you been to therapy?  Have you tried CBT?  Do you have family support? 
All these things are important to recovery, but in the end it's you who has to do the work. 
It sucks so bad, I know.............
But we're all really strong people.  We have to be to put up with this disorder.  So go show panic/agoraphobia who's boss!!! 

[floridaguy65]

Hi:) I feel y'alls pain:) Been there...lived it:)

Duckie, you said: "But for me, acceptance is a big part of recovery.  Relax, accept, and do what you need to do to get better."

I couldn't agree more. My mantra is: Acceptance (yes, I have Anxiety / Panic Disorder), Compassion (for yourself), Education (of how Anxiety Disorders root themselves), Understanding (that there is a way for some solace), Practicing self-help techniques (breathing, visualization, etc), Meds (if needed), Therapy (if needed), and having a self-realized purpose in life (we need to feel we matter:). From there, CALM DAILY action is required upon our part to seek out our own personal healing path. When we get angry at our "lot" in life..."why me, damn it!?", our mind races, often, with the frenetic thoughts of "I must get better....I must get better NOW....I must get better NOW or I'll never be who I want to be", or something along those lines. Sure, we need to vent and commiserate in our dealings with this bugger of a disorder....Panic Attacks sure can suck...this I know:) But the glory of seeking out and, hopefully, finding our healing paths is awesome. And, when we do garner some solace and loosen the grip that Anxiety / Panic Disorders can have upon us, the rewards can be substantial. A more free mind, more clarity of thought, more calm in spirit and body. IMHO, these sought after things can be had, if we work diligently (and calmly:) in seeking out ALL possible avenues that can lead us to some relief. If we find we are not progressing or we have "hit a wall", then we must tweak our healing path and keep on trying with an adjusted focus. To me, the key is - DON'T stop trying! There are too many people in this world who have afforded themselves some solace, through their own discovered healing paths, for us to not at least try. I did it and I'm, certainly, not that "special" of a person...I'm a good guy, I believe. But, if I can do it, then I have to believe (and I truly do:) that this ability is within a vast majority of Anxiety / Panic Disorder sufferers, as well. As we begin our "recovery" journey, successes might be hard to come by...there is discouragement, perhaps. Slowly, with calm persistence, a victory is garnered here and there and some momentum is built. Finding some solace fuels more practice and that, inturn, finds more solace:) It's a repeating process and one that can become nearly automatic in your mind. I'm rambling a bit, I feel, so I'll just say...there is HOPE...there is ALWAYS HOPE:) Some relief is attainable to those willing to accept and become ACTIVE in seeking their healing path, IMHO:) Peace and Feel Well:)

[Duckie]

Very well said, Floridaguy:  Having been housebound 4 times in my adult life, I know the struggle to find some freedom. 
It's alot of work.  It takes persistence and most importantly, patience with yourself.  Treat yourself the same way you'd treat anyone you care about who is fighting this fight.  Be kind to yourself, give yourself a big pat on the back when you succeed, and don't be hard on yourself when you don't.  Some days are good, some not so much! 

[kris123]

well said floridaguy and duckie!!!

[dlsharpe75]

rayne...you summed up all of my feelings about my panic disorder....i get so sick of wondering when the next one is gonna come.  I spend so much time obsessing about them that I can't enjoy the simple things in life that I once did.  I always go way out of my way to try to avoid having one...even if it is an inconvenience.  They are simply put...the worst trick our minds can ever play on us....and I have tried all the therapy but we all know that our mind is a powerful thing and it takes alot to change a thought pattern.  I have accepted that I may have these forever cause everytime I try to recover I have major setbacks...I wont' even travel long distance alone OR ride the interstate because I fear that something will happen and I can't get to help fast enough....It stinks bad but one comfort I have found is that I am not alone...Good luck to you and thanks for knowing how to sum up my feelings...lol

[raynebogurl]

Thank you all for your input!  It is greatly appreciated!!!  :)

[cjroads]

Anxiety is a frustrating thing...

Since I'm a former sufferer... I make it my main goal to support people...

I've created a new informational and motivational blog that I hope will help people. It reveals a treatment that considerably help me with my recovery.

Feel Free to check it out and tell me what you think.

Thanks!

[Pug60647]

I'm sick of having to think about fear. I'm grown and I grew up in poverty neck deep in danger half the time. It makes no sense. I'm sick of having an "invisible illness", I would seriously trade my bipolar and panic disorder for spending the rest of my life in a damn wheelchair with the bottom of my legs missing.

I'm sick of misrepresenting myself as a coward or somebody with low willpower or laziness, and I'm sick of not working. Great, I'm unemployed, on SSDI...but I started working when I was 14, I was proud of my work ethic and being responsible as a grown person.

I think that's enough of a rant for me today...trying not to dwell on it these days

[floridaguy65]

Hi Pug:) I feel you pain, brother:) I can't express clear thought on what it's like to be Bipolar. I don't suffer from that...but, my brother does and I've seen him struggle mightily, sometimes. He has some further mental illness, as well. I do have quite an involved history with Anxiety and Panic Disorders, though. Anwho, I just want to empathize with your rant and this is a fine place to find some compassion and assurance you're not isolated in your dealings with these issues:)

In my past, when my anxiety and panic was rampant, I often had thoughts similar to the one you expressed. Sometimes, I would wish that I, simply, was afflicted with a physical ailment or disability instead of being cursed with overpowering anxiety and panic. I would tell myself, "Well, at least, THEY have some peace and quiet in their lives and they aren't always scratching and clawing for some damn solace from whatever this is that is f@*@ing up my life so much!" These thoughts can be quite common with Anxiety Disorders. Kinda like "why me?" type of thing. As, I found my way to my healing path, through many trials and tribulations, these type thoughts began to dissipate. As did the feelings of being a "lesser" person or a "coward" or someone who just can't seem to "shake it off", as I was told to do several times (as if I really could do that:) when I was struggling most.

It seems that you should be proud of some accomplishments in your life, though it's difficult to see the successes when our minds are muddied by the stirring of anxiety and panic...this I know, too. Through some calm perseverance, acceptance, education, understanding and compassion...along with meds (if needed) and therapy (if needed), we can seek out our healing paths and garner some solace. There is HOPE...there is ALWAYS hope:). The only thing guaranteed to fail is not trying at all (or ceasing to try). It's within us all to find some relief...of this I truly believe:) Peace and Feel Well:)

[raynebogurl]

Very well spoken floridaguy. I'm very pleased that everyone can rant freely here and not feel judged by anyone.