New and Hoping for change

[hopefulone]

I was recently diagnosed with panic disorder. I have always been an anxious person and I think it's finally catching up to me. I am petrified nearly every day now. It's all on the inside and other than a personality change, people around me don't notice. My symptoms make me feel like there is something major wrong that the doctors aren't finding. Here is my list of almost daily symptoms: tightness around my head, starting at the top  of my neck and all the way around the head, heartbeat in my head, dizziness, lightheadedness, eyes hurt and i lose peripheral vision on my right eye, pounding heartbeat, gastrointestinal issues, muscle aches in my back, inner shaking. I was admitted into the hospital 2 months ago. They monitored my heart, did a stress test and the blood workup and everything came back good. My primary dr ran through all of the symptoms and the tests and said I am definitely having panic attacks. They have been daily. She put me on welbutrin xl (per my request and past history with it) and xanax. She also put me on blood pressure meds (metoprolol) due to it being elevated. I had not had elevated bp until the weekend I went to the hospital. have NEVER had elevated bp. I am about 150 lbs overweight which doesn't help my racing thoughts that something is seriously wrong. Other symptoms I have is feeling like i am looking from the inside out and feel very closed in and very alone. My husband has been extremely supportive but is starting to get frustrated cause this all came out of nowhere and now is controlling our daily lives. Anything anyone can offer that is similar to ease my mind, any techniques or suggestions would help me. I want to feel normal again and am afraid I will never feel normal again. I have no joy. I haven't put up a single holiday decoration. I had to cancel a trip to Mexico due to my stress. who cancels vacation due to stress? I also want to say that I had recent significant job changes in the past 5 months and had 2 iui's in august and september. Hospital was october. Thanks for anything anyone can advise me on.

[Cuchculan]

Welcome to the forum. Classic case of not wanting to accept that anxiety can do all of this to you. If we made a list of all the symptoms that users go through we could be here all day long. Different people are effected in different ways. Yes, they all find it hard to believe that it is just anxiety doing this to them. Kind of like they go looking for something more. There is nothing more to find. Once you accept it is anxiety it will be a good step forward. Then you can start to deal with it. Distraction is a good method. Not thinking inwardly. Finding things to do to fill up your time. To take your thoughts off of yourself. But we can discuss all of this in the anxiety section of the forum. Have a look there. You will find similar posts to your own condition. Most of all just try and enjoy the forum. We are all here to help.

[sixpack]

hi honey.   I do agree a good bit with cuch.

This link takes you to a list of the most common anxiety symptoms:

http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,17050.0.html

I don't live in a constant barrage of aches/pains anymore.  My mind and body have calmed some.  But it takes a leap of faith, several actually.  You have to accept logically (the easy part) and emotionally (the hard part) that anxiety can and will muck with you in all kinds of ways.  Once you can do that you will start to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Here are some suggestions--and I've posted this a few times  on what you can do to help you in your recovery

1. Therapy---meds if you and your doctor feel it is appropriate---everybody is different on this issue.
2. self-help books--lots of good stuff out there these days ---Claire Weekes has good books out there that explain how it all works.  I read The Roadless Traveled by M. Scott Peck many years ago.  He speaks to people in a variety of ways.  He has a few other books too.   
3.  Exercise---even if you don't want to.  At first you are likely to feel miserable and panicky feelings are likely to bubble up OR rush at you.  It is BEASTY (your anxious overthinking) causing this.  But do it anyway.
4.  Eat a healthy diet.  This helps on all kinds areas of your life.
5.  Forums often have helpful advice.
6.  Hobbies--anything that completely immerses you in it and keeps you occupied.  This helps because eventually you'll get snippets of time when you feel good.  These are teaching moments because then you know it is obsessions/anxiety mucking with you.  After a while those snippets turn to hours then days etc.
7.  Don't pity yourself.  You can have a happy life.   As we experience life, we change.  Having any form of anxiety will impact your life just like all life experiences do.  But that isn't necessarily a bad thing.  Even once you are on the road to recovery, you will have a 'new' normal but that doesn't mean you aren't happy and fulfilled.

[hopefulone]

Thank you so much for your enlightening responses. It has been very hard trying to figure out what is really going on. The part that made it so difficult for me was that it just hit me like a ton of bricks two months ago and has crippled me. I am trying to work through it and was so glad to find this site to use as a tool.

[s3ptember]

Just wanted to say welcome to the forum and that you'll find tons of support here ^_^

[tigerpaw]

I know you will find lots of support here. Let me remind you you can access the Chat Room, and talk live to some of us here!  A great resource for you. Also you can post your favorite picture in the Members Gallery. Lots to do here~