I'm hoping to start to feel better soon!

[Boom23]

Hi, all,
  I am a 23 year old female. A year and a half ago, I went through a lot of negative changes in my life, which led to me being diagnosed with depression. After a long time on anti-depressants, and after spending time in therapy, I could not afford them anymore (I don't have insurance). I was feeling a lot better, and things seemed to be great in my life. However, within the last month or two, I have been feeling really, really anxious. I cannot even pinpoint exactly what type of anxiety I have, but I know something is not right. If I had to take a guess, I would say it has something to do with being alone. I get extremely anxious and upset when I am not with at least one other person. I NEVER used to be this way, so it's hard for me to understand. I live with a roommate, but she is absolutely never home; I have very good friends, but we all have busy schedules, so it's hard to see them as much as I would like. I am not currently in a relationship, although I am constantly looking. I just feel like I can't be by myself. When I am alone, I cry, get jittery inside, and I feel like I am so disconnected from everyone else. I am having a very hard time because I know that my life isn't really all that bad, but I just can't shake this anxious feeling in my body. I constantly have racing thoughts, a fast heart beat, etc. I just thought that joining this forum might offer me a little bit of insight and some help. Thanks, everybody, for listening.

[sixpack]

Hi, all,
  I am a 23 year old female. A year and a half ago, I went through a lot of negative changes in my life, which led to me being diagnosed with depression. After a long time on anti-depressants, and after spending time in therapy, I could not afford them anymore (I don't have insurance). I was feeling a lot better, and things seemed to be great in my life. However, within the last month or two, I have been feeling really, really anxious. I cannot even pinpoint exactly what type of anxiety I have, but I know something is not right. If I had to take a guess, I would say it has something to do with being alone. I get extremely anxious and upset when I am not with at least one other person. I NEVER used to be this way, so it's hard for me to understand. I live with a roommate, but she is absolutely never home; I have very good friends, but we all have busy schedules, so it's hard to see them as much as I would like. I am not currently in a relationship, although I am constantly looking. I just feel like I can't be by myself. When I am alone, I cry, get jittery inside, and I feel like I am so disconnected from everyone else. I am having a very hard time because I know that my life isn't really all that bad, but I just can't shake this anxious feeling in my body. I constantly have racing thoughts, a fast heart beat, etc. I just thought that joining this forum might offer me a little bit of insight and some help. Thanks, everybody, for listening.

Hello Boom

welcome to our forum.  I hope you find some helpful information tucked into the nooks and crannies

[Smoky Jo]

Hello,

Welcome

Being alone and lonely, and even just the fear of being
alone, make many people insecure, anxious and depressed. 
If you fear being alone you may become over needy of
other people and feel as if you must be around people at
all times.  While we all, to varying degrees, need people
in our life, if you feel you must have people around all
the time then this need is controlling you.

I find it difficult being alone,  as you do.  When I find myself
alone,  I usually go to the gym.  I don't know anyone there,
it's just the fact of being around people.  When you are alone,
find a distraction,  read a book,  play a video game,  go to the
gym.  Your friends will be around you later in the day,  so try
and keep yourself busy till then.

[popeye]

smokey joe is right,bt it seems you need your meds.can yu get free samples.only way to battle depression is people and some help with meds.try not to be alone with your thoughts

[constantmover]

Well, you have come to the right place.  Here you don't have to feel alone because there is always someone around to either talk to in Chat or post on one of the forums. 

Loneliness is a very interesting state of mind.  One can feel lonely in a room full of people that they know or one can go for a walk and just having people around them, makes them feel less lonely.  It really is a state of mind.  I'm a bit of a loner and hate it when people drop in unannounced.  Yet, I will invite friends over for a dinner party and enjoy every minute of their company. 

The kind of loneliness I think you are feeling right now is fear of being alone.  Uncomfortable in your surroundings without someone to buffer those feelings.  This sounds more like anxiety than depression.  The racing thoughts and rapid heartbeat...so typical of an anxious person.  Have you tried CBT?  I know you said that you can't afford medication or therapy, but you can buy books on relaxation and CBT.  Also, as far as the medication is concerned, if you and your doctor feel you absolutely need medication, there is a way of getting it free or close to it if you qualify.  Listed below is a number of companies that are involved with programmes to supply people with medication who normally wouldn't be able to afford it.

Medication / Pharmacy Programs

Free medications are sometimes available from pharmaceutical manufacturers for patients who do not have the means to pay for them and meet eligibility criteria for these services. Some of the manufacturers are as follows:

Allergan Prescription 800-347-4500
Alza Pharmaceuticals 415-962-4243
Amgen, Inc. 800-272-9376
Astra USA, Inc. 800-488-3247
Berlix 800-423-7539
Boehringer Ingleheim
 203-798-4131
 
Bristol Myers Squibb
 800-736-0003
 
Burroughs-Wellcome
 800-722-9294
 
Ciba Pharmaceuticals
 800-257-3273
 
Eli-Lilly
 317-276-2950
 
Genetech, Inc.
 800-879-4747
 
Glaxo, Inc.
 800-452-7677
 
Hoechst-Roussel
 800-776-5463
 
Hoffman-Larouche
 800-526-6367
 
Ici-Stuart
 302-886-2231
 
Immunex Corp.
 800-321-4669
 
Janssen
 800-253-3682
 
Johnson & Johnson
 800-447-3437
 
J & J (Janssen)
 908-524-9409
 
Knoll
 800-526-0710
 
Lederle
 800-526-7870
 
Marion Merrel Dow
 800-362-7466
 
McNeil Pharmaceuticals
 800-682-6532
 
Merck Human Health
 800-672-6372
 
Miles
 800-998-9180
 
Ortho Pharmaceuticals
 800-682-6532
 
Parke-Davis
 202-540-2000
 
Pfizer, Inc.
 800-646-4455
 
Pharmacia, Inc.
 800-795-9759
 
Proctor & Gamble
 800-448-4878
 
Rhone-Poulenc Rorer
 610-454-8298
 
Roche Labs
 800-285-4484
 
Roxane Labs
 800-274-8651
 
Sandoz
 800-937-6673
 
Sanofi Winthrop
 800-446-6267
 
Schering Labs
 800-521-7157
 
Searle
 800-542-2526
 
Serono
 617-982-9000
 
Smithkline Beecham
 800-546-0420
 
Survanta Lifeline
 800-922-3255
 
Syntex Labs
 800-822-8255
 
3M Pharmaceuticals
 800-328-0255
 
Upjohn Co.
 800-242-7014
 
Wyeth-Ayerst
 703-706-5933
 
Zeneca Pharmaceuticals
 800-424-3720
 
General Information

Ask your doctor's office to call the number listed for the manufacturer of the medications that you need. You can print this page to take with you if you are unsure of the manufacturer.

The manufacturer will probably require your doctor to send in a statement that explains your need for the medication and limited means you have to pay or the lack of insurance. Your doctor will also have to provide your prescription.

If approved, the manufacturer would send your doctor a supply of medications for you to pick up from him. This process can take a few months to get started.

It is possible that some manufacturers will refill your prescription as long as medically and financially necessary. In order for the prescription to be refilled, your doctor must contact the manufacturer and go through the procedure again.

This information was true and correct as of the time of this editing. There is no guarantee that all of the companies listed still participate in these programs. Our best advice would be to contact the PHRMA directly and get their updated booklet describing the procedures and policies in detail. Their booklet is an excellent resource reference for support groups.

PHRMA
Phaarmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America
1100 Fifteenth Street, N.W.
Washington, D.C. 20005

[tigerpaw]

I know you will find lots of support here. Let me remind you you can access the Chat Room, and talk live to some of us here!  A great resource for you. Also you can post your favorite picture in the Members Gallery. Lots to do here~ 
 

[Boom23]

Thank you all for your welcoming and encouraging words. They mean a lot.