Girls/ladys dont really like guys with metal problems

[MR PA]

I have lost all my relationships because my girlfriends cant take the way i am.Ive been single for 6 years now><And the one nighters dont really count:) and alone.

[andreap]

Hi

I think there will be someone out there who will understand. 
My husband left.  I am certain now that he suffers GAD, but neither one of us had any real knowledge of this.  I think I was probably like all those girlfriends you talk about - he reached meltdown and said there is a part of me he couldn't live with.  I took so much personally, which is possibly what your ex girlfriends have done if they haven't understood what you are suffering from.  I can see now that the part of me he couldn't live with was the part that had no understanding of the fact that he is suffering from a real disorder with real symptoms.  I can see that living in a relationship with love, adds so many dimensions for his anxiety to breed, especially when I didn't understand.  But having my own disorder to come to terms with and combat (an eating disorder), has I think helped me to understand his better.  So I am sure one day, you will meet the lady who possibly will have had the life experiences herself that will help her relate to what you are going through, and understand.  She will be out there for you I am sure! 

[Grandma]

First - Well if ALL women didn't like guys with mental problems, Grandpa would never have gotten the chance of a lifetime to marry me!

Second - I agree with every word of andreap's post.

Third - You say people can't take the way you are?  Have you done everything you can to make the way you are a good way to be with?  I have severe depression, mild to moderate anxiety, and moderate PTSD.  That didn't give me a pass to be clingy and demanding in relationships.  It wasn't until I conquered these behaviors in therapy that I found a healthy relationship with a man who also knows how to behave himself, even though his emotional problems are at least as bad as mine.

[Boom23]

I agree with the above posts. I think there is definitely a lady out there who will be most understanding. It's true that a lot of girls aren't understanding, just as a lot of guys aren't....but I guarantee there are people out there that are willing and able to give you the help, love, patience, and understanding that all of us desire. I have lost a great deal of relationships with guys because of their "lack of understanding" also, but, like Grandma said, it may be more a problem that you and I need to figure out about ourselves. You are not alone with feeling this way, and I hope someday you find somebody who gives you everything you deserve, and you do the same for her!

[dieterabrenner]

Hi Mr PA,

Well done on posting up such concerns. I'm sure there would be plenty of people out there who have thought the same thing before they moved into a relationship with someone.

Mr PA, I would like to suggest something a little different to what you may have heard before.

Your concern is that woman don't like people with 'mental problems'. I'm sure you know that that is not really true, and I would like to give you something as an alternative view.

I am guessing you put this concern up here because you want a relationship. I would like to help you to have whatever it is that you truly want, whether you have that relationship or not. Because you might find a relationship tomorrow with some good advice, however if the underlying concern about not being in a relationship is not solved then the same problem may occur again and again.

So let's have a look at what you want to get out of a relationship so that you can have it anyway and then whether you find someone or not, either way you are happy. Does that sound good?

The truth is, what you really want from a relationship is love. Would that be correct?

So although it may seem that we want another person, their body or to experience being in a relationship, the bottom line is we all want love. So if we could feel or have love whether that person was there or not, whether we could really have it so much that we know nothing else but love, would that be okay as a start, and then you can always move into relationships in the future but you can do so without feeling attached to them, which of course would greaten your chances of ever being in a relationship.

So Mr PA, could you tell me, when do you think you don't have love?

Your answer to that will help me to help you to find it further,

I look forward to hearing from you soon,

Warmest regards,

Dieter Aschenbrenner

[Grandma]

Dieter -

I am confused.  You are a professional life coach.  Why are you offering your services here for free?  Are you hoping to gain our confidence and then try to sell us your materials?  Please forgive me if I misunderstand your presence in the forums.

[dieterabrenner]

Hi Grandma,

Thank you for your response. No I am not looking to promote materials. I just stumbled across these forums today, saw what was out there, cried because of the situation and decided to do something about it.

I have done much free service in my time :-)

I may only do some on this site for now,

Warmest regards,

Dieter