I can no longer live this way

[ngh65]

Hello everyone--I'm happy to have found this site. I recently became aware that the level of anxiety and worry that I experience is not "normal." For my whole life, I've lived in a constant state of readiness--always waiting and alert. I worry about everything and everyone. I just assumed that everyone was like this. Only recently did I discover that this was not the case.

After a lot of therapy I understand why I am anxious; I'm just having trouble letting it go. Some part of me believes that if I let go of my worry and anxiety, the whole world will come apart. In my head, my fret is the glue that holds everything together. It seems irrational, I know. But I can't let it go. As I've explored other issues in my life, I've learned that the state I live in is not healthy. I've been learning to practice mindfulness, which has shown me just how anxious I am.

I'm 45 years old, married to a wonderful man, and we have a bright, energetic 10 year old son. I have a lot to be thankful for in my life, but I feel like my anxiety holds me back from fully experiencing joy.

So, that's me in a nutshell and I look forward to hearing your stories and learning some lessons.

Thanks.

[rudy]

I'm the same way when it comes to the control. I feel like if i stop worrying, if i stop being aware of everything, that (in my case, because i have a phobia of vomiting) that i'll get sick or i'll be unable to gain control again.

Good luck with your troubles  - K

[tigerpaw]

I know you will find lots of support here. Let me remind you you can access the Chat Room, and talk live to some of us here!  A great resource for you. Also you can post your favorite picture in the Members Gallery. Lots to do here~
 

[sixpack]

hello ngh

I'm glad you found us.  Welcome aboard.