Childhood Abuse

[SeaLlama]

So I said that I would post later about what happened to me. The night I posted my first blog was a bad night as far as flashbacks go and I really didn't feel like going into detail.

I mentioned in a previous post that I have contamination OCD and checking that steams back to deeper issues. Recently I was diagnosed with PTSD after mentioning to my therapist that as a child I was sexually, physically and emotionally abused... and am still currently being physically abused.

At 12 I was approached by my sister for the first time one evening and she asked if I wanted to play? this ultimately led to her throwing me on the bed and laying on top of me and "pretending" to have sex with me.. this occurred multiple times a week for years. During the same time she would also physically hurt me. Smacking, hair pulling, biting... and she still does.... as well as emotional abuse...

at some point I may go into further detail but I guess I am here looking for someone who went through something similar to talk to...

[Cuchculan]

Maybe I am not in a position to comment on this as I have never been abused. But I noticed you said ' she still does '. Can we take it that this is still going on? In some form or another. I know it is one of those topics that is hard to talk about. I think even moreso when the abuser is a female. Most people would expect the abuser to be male. Not sure how much you told your therapist at all. You don't have to tell us the answer to that question. But what you have to see is that you are the victim. There is zero guilt attached to you at all. You never done anything wrong at all. You had your childhood ripped from you by a sister who sounds like a right b!tch. Now I would, as a rule, say, is there nobody in your family you can talk to. But in a way I know how hard it would be. Number one the fact that the abuser was your sister. Number two she would deny it big time. She would pass the buck. Try and make it out like you are making things up. That is normal for abusers. But can we set up a trap of any sort to catch her at her games? Dictaphone even. They are tiny these days. You can hide them anywhere. The sound they pick up is amazing. Especially is she still is been abusive towards you. Get something that could burn her plans. How you use what you get would be up to you. Whether you let other family members hear it or just your sister as a warning. That is she does anything else the whole family will hear it. Because she has to be stopped. Now is the time to stop her. I know you would think about the family. Not wanting to split the family and the likes of that. Normal thoughts for a victim. But how far do you let it go? To know you have the power to stop her. It can be done. With a little bit of modern software. Even digital camcorders are timy these days. Can be easily hidden. Or Nanny cams. You see them. For making sure the house helper is been good. They come inside teddy bears and the likes. It might seen like a stupid idea for you. One you will brush aside as nonsense. But I just thought I would throw my two cents in for what it is worth. Only wishing your situation inproves.

[AngelRage]

I am also a survivor of childhood abuse. The best thing I can tell u is that if your still being abused; you need to seek some help to move out of the house. Try your county victim's assistance office, usually run through by the DA's office.

Secondly I would say get into therapy. Therapy is about the best tool I have found to help in my recovery.

I wish you only the best; Take care of YOU and Please come back and keep us posted.

Sincerely, 

[Allisa00]

I also was sexually abused as a little girl by an older cousin.  I was 4 he was 17.  It changed my whole life in a negative way.  I am in therapy currently and have made alot of head way in my life, but i still have a ways to go.  I hope you are able to talk to a therapist about your abuse and most importantly know that you dont have to take it anymore!!! Good luck!