Can't get over this, need advice please!

[pippip]

Okay so ages and ages ago i met this girl online and we became best best friends. I knew for awhile she was a lesbian, but it bothered me a bit because i had another lesbian fall in love with me once and i felt os bad because i didn't love girls. (Then) Girl numero uno admitted she was madly in love with me, and i felt it too, which both scared and delighted me. We went out, fought alot, she kindof fell in love wiht my best friend and called her alot, and we were on and off, eventually we ended last February after her ******* attempt. We had just gotten back together on Sunday and on MOnday she did that (0534 that makes me feel really good) This was after i just started therapy and not only did being wiht her make me a nervous wreck not being with her made me a nervous wreck but i did feel better off without her. So this summer i was talking to my real life friend she had liked and i was like aww you know i just really miss her because last summer we started getting really really close and stuff. So immediately this friend goes and tells her and my exgirlfriend says well if Pip wants to talk to me she can do it herself. So this scared me really bad but i did and she said she had thought of me every day and missed me so much its like she was speaking my mind. Id give anything ot have saved that convo but i didn't. So during this time my anxiety went way up again. I came clean and told her i got panicky talking to her and she made me anxious really bad the last time we went out because i needed to get this off my chest. She cried alot and otld me i was better off without her but i insisted no. After about 10 days she told me she was moving but she never did. I feel as though she broke up with me because she loved me and wanted me to be happy. I could be way off track but im just afraid thta is really why we broke up. Its been so long nad im still feelign sad. Talking to her isn't really an option, because she hates me and accused me of stalking her when i tried to contact her again. I sometimes ocdly watch her profile because before this summer sh ewas talking about me in it before we even spoke again and now i guess not but i still hope i guess. Before when i started really missing her we got back together but now we cant. I cant get over this. Any advice to move on? Please?

[itsmeesindee]

Do you see a therapist?  The reason I ask it I think you need to get your anxiety issues under control and be more self confident and happy with yourself before you can have a successful relationship (just my opinion).  Take care of yourself first and the rest will come easier.

Cin

[pippip]

I saw one for awhile, but i pretty much got better and stopped going, this is the only thing that still bothers me. I;m reading a book on self confidence/self esteem which is really helping. I'm trying, thanks for the advice