Do you miss out?

[sweetnspunky]

My anxiety and depression keeps me from having fun all the time. Tonight, me and a group of friends and my boyfriend are going to Halloween places like haunted houses and things and I am so scared to go. I am scared I will have a panic attack and ruin everyone's fun. I don't want to go but I don't want to not go. I am missing out on so many things because of my fears and anxiety. I know that some times people don't want to invite me to things because of this. Does anyone have this same problem?

[markidee]

Often! Sometimes we walk a lonely road.

[Quistis145]

Of course, you are not alone!  Frankly, I'm just not big on being scared.  Not a real desireable feeling if you ask me!  Anyway, i was supposed to go out tonight too.  I had a rough day at work, felt really depressed and anxious when i got home, so i ate frozen pizza, and had my PJs on by 7.  It stinks to miss out, but I figure if my body is trying to tell me something I am going to listen.  There's always next time!

[lisad27]

I agree that many times your body is just tired and is telling you it needs to recharge and you should probably stay home, but more often than not, it is a good idea to kind of force yourself to go out and conquer that feeling of anxiety.  I found that out earlier this year when i was experiencing bad anxiety that if I just made myself go somewhere, whether it was out to eat or to someone's house or whatever, 99% of the time, I would go, have fun and completely forget about my anxious feelings.  And then I would come home with a feeling of accomplishment that I had conquered that fear.  Gave me more self-confidence for the next time I went anywhere and now 9 months later, I am not 100% back to my regular self yet, but I am getting pretty close and know that pushing myself to do things definitely helped in the long run.

[learning to cope]

Its the story of my life. I used to be such a fun outgoing girl when I was younger, before I allowed my anxiety to take over. Now I have basically no social life. I have few friends who I actually socialize with on a regular basis, I hardly date because I am so afraid that every man is psycho, I don't go out too late out of fear of being mugged or in a wreck with a drunk driver, I don't go to clubs because i am afraid of something terrible happening in the club or at home while I am gone. All my fears have total control over me. I freak out over the smallest things. I too used to love haunted houses but haven't been in years out of fear of having an anxiety/panic attack. I can't go to amusement parks or anywhere fun and just enjoy myself. Most of my activities consists of taking my 8 year old to safe children's outings. I love spending time with her but I also realize that it's important for me to be social, which I no longer am. Outside of church and the occasional gathering with my family, I have no social life. I complain about it yet I do nothing to change. Please don't allow yourself to become this bad off. It's not fun and very hard to reverse this behavior.

[sweetnspunky]

Well the funny thing is one of my friends decided not to go because he was afraid he would get scared and worked up so we all decided to not go. I was relieved, but also disappointed that I didn't get to go. I use to love scary stuff and Halloween so much. I now take it in very small doses. Like we stayed in and watched ghost clips online. It gave me that thrilling spooky felling instead of the panicky terrified feeling.

[HeavyD]

Oh yes, this sounds all too familiar.  I don't have much of a social life at all, I've withdrawn from a lot of my friends simply because I can't take the stress that I create when I'm out and about.  I never really have fun when I go out anyway, so I kind of just stop trying.  I spend a lot of time with my two brothers and their spouses which is fun and makes me feel alright, but I often fall into that trap and begin to be over critical of myself. "Why aren't you talking" "think of something funny or interesting to say" "Every ones enjoying themselves WHY CAN'T YOU".  I remember earlier today I was flipping through this lady I work with album on 0409.  They were pictures from a night out I was invited to but decided not to go cause I was afraid I'd be to awkward.  They looked so comfortable with each other and so relaxed.  They looked so care free and like they were having so much fun.  I'd give anything to feel like that again.  I was so jealous and angry at the same time, I just wanted to be able to feel like I was part of something and that I was wanted.  Sadly, that group would rather spend time with leapers then with me, I'm kind of like the black plaque at work now cause I'm "not right".  Anyway, don't feel alone I'm right there with ya on that one.

[beatles86]

I definitely feel you guys.  With my obsessive thinking and always anxious state it's hard to enjoy many things.  I try, but i do feel limited. 

[joycicle]

I so get it as well. Anxiety is such a tricky little monster. If  you ignore it and are able to it does feel like you climbed Mt Everest.  Looking back on a fun day and saying WOOOHOOO I didn't have one bad thought today. But that is the exception , not the rule most of the time.  Last year about this time I got to where I could not go into a store.  Almost every store big or small would give me horrible anxiousness. I felt I better run out the door and leave my groceries in a cart than try to finish. Then i tricked myself into baby steps. Like instead of going 'grocery shopping' , I would just go in for coffee. I can do this, right? It did work. Just go in get the coffee , get the heck out.  Next time maybe bananas and toilet paper, etc.  I still don't like to randomly shop. ( good thing cuz i've saved a lot of money, lol) I still just make a list , get my stuff and get out . But the PLAN before hand has helped a lot.

[dresdenfan]

Oh yeah, story of my life xD Usually I just try to force myself to go, and you know what? Many times I actually have a good time! Of course there will always be that uncomfortable anxiety but it's nothing you can't handle.

[sportybears]

Absolutely! I feel like I miss out on so much because of my anxiety & panic, & thats the hardest aspect to deal with I think. I'm a mom of  14 & 8 year old boys, and there's so many things I want to do with them & places I want to take them. Sometimes I push myself to "just do it" & am often glad afterwards that I did. But sometimes, I just can't push through the fear and often feel deflated and like my kids miss out on things because of me. 

[Lanie]

Yup, all the time =(

Don't lose hope though. Tomorrow's another day. A day filled with endless possibilities =)

If there's things you want to do, go out and do them! You can do it. Start small if you have to. Start locally. Maybe there's a community festival you've always wanted to attend...maybe it's fishing...or going to the local museum...or checking out a new part of the city where you live...Or picking up a new hobby. Going to church again or volunteering somewhere. New, little things can make you feel more in control and boost your mental health.

I find that once I do something, all the anxiety goes away and I feel much better and less anxious