bullying, emotional abuse and emotional neglect

[Kataisha]

I suffered all those in my childhood. And I suffer from anxiety, panic attacks, flashbacks, episodes of rage. and dissociation because of them.
but I am not diagnosed with PTSD. 'Just' depression etc.

This disappoints me, as I really need validation and accpetance of what happened to me and the effects its had...

K.

[Tracy]

Hi there,

Welcome to the site.

I have PTSD caused by a life time of mental abuse from my parents and brother.  I suffer from digestive problems, panic attacks, sleeplessness, isolation, and recently started to have asthma.  I started to see a counsellor a few months ago, she was the one who said PTSD.  At first, I was shocked because I it seemed a bit silly to me.  But thinking back, having those flashbacks etc... really upset me.  The brain is a complicated machine.  I started to have nightmares of past times.
My coach (counsellor) has helped me identify things I otherwise would have ignored.  Examples:  it's not my fault, I am a victum of abuse, and I didn't do anything wrong and I didn't deserve to be bullied. 

I hope you get all you want from this forum and find ways to understand things.  The best advice I can give you is remember that you are not alone, your feelings are important, and life is a journey... full of bumpy roads.

I am not on meds for my PTSD, I take yoga, eat well, no smoking or boozing or drugs...(these things are very important as they have bad chemicals that can alter your nerves) and I try to stay away from my family as best as I can.

good luck - let me know how things go

[Kataisha]

Hi Tracy. Thank you for responding. I'm sorry that you have also suffered. People don't always realise that emotional abuse can be as damaging as the other forms.
But it can. It brings flashbacks too, as you and I know.
My therapist talks in terms of traumas I've experienced, but she doesn't go with the label. I was diagnosed with depression (recurrent) by a psychiatrist last year when my meds then weren't working and I had a breakdown. The psych took my full history, and prescribed me new meds. But it was only when I asked my GP that I found out my diagnosis. When I asked the psych himself, he said I'd already diagnosed myself  with problems, depression, anxiety and panic attacks because of things that had happened to me in my past.

But....I don't think I told him much about the bullying, the constant harassing and ridicule, having ink flicked over my blouse, a chair thrown at me across the classroom and my things hidden, always name calling...and then my father's accusations and belittling at home, the domestic violence I witnessed....all of that....how can one begin to convey all of that even in a full assessment of 90 minutes?
So.

I feel a bit better for having typed that out. Feel kind of vulnerable though. But they can't get me now... I am always on the alert though...that hyper-vigilance can be so tiring.... But therapy helps, and my medication helps keep me functioning.
I have never drunk, smoked, or taken drugs.....so have no problems on that front...and I do try to eat properly.....I used to do yoga, but it didn't really do it for me. However I do use parts of what I learnt for grounding etc, and that is vital to me.

K.

[apple]

I was emotionally abused growing up as well, by a mother who suffers from similar as myself, (maybe learned behavior that just keeps getting passed down the generations)

For sever depression and rage I have been on Risperdal.  I am also in behavior therapy and I've made giant leaps towards recovery.  Its easy to see how I ended up this way...I know it can no longer happen ever again...I am having a hard time letting go of the emotion that is attached to my memories.  I need to be the one to rescue the little girl in me who never got rescued...tough one..

good luck

Apple

[rockie]

 HI' K''

 I'm Rockyie'' I 2'' was abused by my so' called Farther'' both fisically and mentally as a child and as an adoult.
 This went on till I was 34 years old. He was in my face one day screaming at me! I felt a calm come over me' and I just turned 2'' him and said I am not Scared of you any more!
Now he is DEAD 2'' me I even went through the morning of it''. I don't see him any more ether' which is hard on my Mother.
Now I am FREE'' of him forever!!! :)

[GMan86]

Good for you rockie, I went something similar with my step-father. Glad to hear you are passed that.