Spouse/Signicant Other

[Eva62]

Question:
The other day I was telling my husband (15 years now) that I had found this site and that I was finally starting to feel a little less on edge thanks to all of you guys.  He then was almost insulted.  He said he can't understand why I can type away to people I don't know, yet I don't always open up to him about this "illness phobia" that I have.  He really is a wonderful husband, but I'm afraid if I really confess to him about all the illness fears I have he'd lock me up and throw away the key!
Do any of you guys have similar situations with your significant others? How do they handle your health anxieties?

Eva

[ladyK]

Hi Eva

Sounds like your husband may be a wee bit jealous.  He may feel that you don't trust him enough with your symptoms and he thinks you have "gone elsewhere" for the help he thinks he should be able to give you.  He wants to help but doesn't know what to do for you?  He may even feel a bit threatened.  I hope you work it out because the support of our spouses in very important.  Good luck.

take care, ladyK

[lmw80]

It seems like he cares and wants to know and maybe he doesn't understand but thinks you telling him will help him understand.  I am sure your anxiety has not been the only tough thing in your 15 year relationship..you've "stuck" together for a reason and that reason is love.  Maybe start out telling him a little something here and there, and work up to the extent of it...it may even help you feel better that you are not "hiding" yourself from him. 

[Eva62]

We've always had a good relationship.  I have started telling him about some of the things that I'm having problems with.  He seems a little better, but I know he just wants me to let it all out.  I've been a little more stressed lately and I have been letting myself lean on him.  I think he likes taking care of me, so maybe I'll let him.   He came to the doctor with me this morning and he is now looking for a specialist in tinnitus because he said he doesn't want me living like this.  I'll let me do his thing.  It makes him feel better, and I do want him to feel good.

Eva

[apple]

How lucky to have a man who altho may not always understand but willing to be a part of your recovery.  I was told by my pastor during premarriage councelling to not lean on my husband with this as he will wear down after time.  when we got home we talked about it and he said we are in this together, in sickness and health...he WILL help me thru this and not to worry about him...

If your man wants to help you and be there for you...let him hun, he may love you leaning on him...plus it makes fighting a whole lot easier.   

[KwoNeShe]

It's wonderful that your husband is so support, and wants to help you in any way that he can!

I think, with me anyway, it helps to talk with others who suffer from the same things. They can understand and relate in ways that even the most supportive spouse simply can't. I talk to my SO about a lot of what I go through, and he is very caring & concerned, but he doesn't understand the magnitude my problem effects my life.

It's good you have both a husband who loves you and wants to help, and friends online who understand what you are going through. :)

[mgates7]

I have been a titer toter and not sure what I should do. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years
We have been engaged for 5 years.
I have been pushing for marriage and he always agreed and it has been the issue of not enough money or
not the right time to get the family all together.
Last year, he started a new job and started hanging around this guy and his wife. They are a regilionous couple that likes
having people over for "Bible Study Group". At first I had no problem with him going.
Then the 3 hour study group started becoming invitations to spent the night. when does a grown man ask another grown man to spend the night. I have found out the man (cheats on his wife) the wife (trys to sleep with men who comes around) and my guy doesn't understand why I have a issue with this. He turns and says I need to trust him.
Twice He has gone and spent the night at this man house.
He came back after the second night..Decided to tell me, we can no longer have sex because of his reglionous convictions.
He no longer wants to marry me because he doesn't want to rush into anything.
We live together and I have a daughter who adores him as a father figure.
What can I do.
One month, He is all loving and tells me he wants to marry me and tells me his plans for our future.
Next month, He talks about what he wants, ignores me and rejects me sexually.

[apple]

Are you saying he wont have sex before marriage anymore, and doesnt want to marry you now?  How old is your daugther?  I would like to help if I can.