Help a friend?

[AGoodFriend]

Hi

Not sure if this is the best place to ask this question, but here goes!

I have a very close friend, who is in her forties and is by no means naive. Recently she had a bereavement and ever since then her character has changed dramatically. For many years she has been a very trustworthy, loyal friend who I had a great deal of time and respect for.

Since her loss she has become transfixed with an internet chat site, talking to every "player" and loser imaginable, then blatently lied to me when I've asked her about it. I cannot tell you how out of character that is for her. She is on the site for up to 18 hours a day (much of which is when she is at work which is worrying in itself). She now intends to go and meet one of these people who to me looks like the absolute worst of the internet "players" (and he's not local so there will be no escape route). Maybe that's me being overprotective but as a bloke myself I generally can tell them a mile off.

Unfortunately I lost my rag and stopped calling her a few days back, now I feel guilty that I have deserted her. I was hoping she would snap out of it on her own - especially when I stopped contacting her, but she just seems to be getting worse.

Any ideas on what I should do? She has no other close friends so I can't ask anyone to intervene and she just won't listen to me. She says it's none of my business what she does - and she is of course right, but I'm finding it very hard to stand by and watch her get hurt. I could be wrong, one of these guys could be the man of her dreams, but somehow I doubt it!

Thanks.

[lt33]

Hi,

If would be good that she was right, but if she isn't and you can't stop her or make her me careful, she will still need you to be her friend if things go wrong. Besides that, if you've warned her and can't do anything more... Meeting stranger people may be dangerous, but she's an adult. It's easy to lose control on your life after a loss. Wish her luck.

[ladyK]

Hi AGoodFriend:

Well you must be a good friend to worry about her like this.  She definitely is playing a dangerous game!  Have you thought of maybe going along with her, just for support, or in case something doesn't work out?  Or is that out of the question?  I agree with lt33, if she is determined to go through with this then being there in the end, especially if its a bad situation, then she will need you then.  I hope for her sake that she has a truly wonderful time and experience.  Just as an after thought and certainly none of my business but do you have "feelings" for her yourself?

take care, ladyK