I don't think she believes me

[stockhausen]

My problem is that my girlfriend gets very evasive and quiet whenever I start talking about my anxiety, and she's accused me on more than one occasion of being a hypochondriac.  I've just started realizing that I have GAD (it's ridiculous how long it took me, now it seems so obvious)...I had a lot of physical symptoms, so I kept thinking I might have various physical disorders, until now I realize it's anxiety that's the source of my problems.

Anyways, I feel like she's being unsupportive, and I find myself doing things like confiding in a message board (Thank you for existing!) instead of talking to her.  I do think that she suffers from social anxiety disorder and that maybe she's worried about facing some of her own problems - that could be why she's acting this way.

Has anyone had this situation?  A significant other that basically doesn't take your problems seriously?

[lt33]

A girl I dated was like that. She had her own issues, but didn't recognize hers neither.

[maladjust_ted]

hi stockhausen

I have been through the same trouble before. Tried and tried to explain or just talk about my situation with a girlfriend. Seemed to me the relationship started off good and she was very understanding and talkative. After a while it was as if she just got tired of the whole subject. Which, unfortunately, made my anxiety levels higher.... not to mention it made me angry and resentful. Looking back I wonder if maybe I should have involved her more in my attempts to get better. I think if she had seen me working as hard as I did at moving forward she might have seen the situation in a different light. As it was, I just lost trust in the situation and took my burden of anxiety on alone.

The best advice I could give, would be to try other things than discussing the anxiety "head-on". I know I have times when just discussing the anxiety can make me nervous and testy. I'm not going to say I'm the best idea man... in all honesty, from my track record I'm surprised I haven't become a full on misogynist. I could help you more if you were hoping to have the relationship die a horrible death. I could give you pointers day and night on how to do that one.

OK OK, that was meant as a joke. I'm sort of an optimist about relationships. I am always hopeful I will have a good one and hopeful other people will have good ones too. I know the anxiety can be suffocating to you at times, but I think it can be the same way to a relationship. Could you try and show her the upside of yourself, all the things you can do outside of the anxiety, and let the anxiety problem take a back seat for a short period? I dunno, maybe a woman's advice would be best, but maybe that might help. Just spitballing here.
Ted

[basm101]

hi,

I am not in quite the same boat as luckily my boyfriend is very supportive and realises my anxiety is not something I am doing on purpose to myself !
It did take him a while to realise this though, so have patience.

However, although I confide in him I also get support from my best female friend to help me deal with my anxiety. Perhaps you could confide in
another friend or relation as well as your girlfriend alongside using the message boards and chats here.

Maybe you are right in that she is anxious herself and finds it hard to deal with.

[Kate1982]

I have a similar situation.  My husband doesn't really take my anxiety seriously.  He doesn't understand why I can't just leave and go to the store and he likes to tell me to stop worrying so much, it's all in my head (like I didn't already know that), and there's nothing really wrong with me so I should just stop feeling that way.  He means well though, he just doesn't understand.  I think he doesn't like to talk about it because he feels like he can't fix it for me and that makes him feel like he's failed.  He's one of those guys that has to fix every problem that he comes across.  It sucks when the people we care for the most are the ones that understand us the least (at least in certain areas of our lives) but that's just part of relationships I think.  I hope you find the support you need among us on this board and maybe your girlfriend will open up in time.  Maybe there are some friends or therapists you can turn to for support as well.  Good luck

[stockhausen]

thanks so much for responding everybody!

yeah, i think it's true that i should try confiding in someone else instead, and i know someone who i could talk to.  i'll try taking a break from talking about it with her and maybe she'll eventually come around.

[NightOwl]

My gf sometimes seems sck of me telling her about it because she says she knows nothing to do.  She has tried to make me feel better, but I see why she would be sick of it by now.  But either way I can't exactly change it, so I dunno.  She is only 17 though, so someone older probably would be more prepared to deal with it.

[sushi]

I'm new here and I've just recently been starting to realize that I may have GAD. It's been going on for about a year now and I can pinpoint exactly when I started being like this. I have never been the same again after what happened. Perhaps I will divulge further in a different thread when I am ready to.

Anyway, my husband doesn't take my anxiety seriously either. He says it's all in my head, that it's normal, and that everybody worries and gets anxious. I tried telling him that they probably don't obsess about it as much as I do, but I don't think he gets it. I'm afraid to talk to him about it more because I know he'll say the same thing. It frustrates me. I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this so I'm glad I've found this forum. But it causes more anxiety for me... if he finds out I've been seeking advice from others about my "problem", I think he'd get insulted and angry, firstly because I came to others instead of him for help, and secondly because he's the type of guy that prefers to resolve personal/relationship issues without getting others (friends, family, therapists, etc.) involved... (what more strangers on the internet?). Sigh.

[sushi]

P.S. It was something he did that started my "problem". I don't think he realizes it though. I think I have told him before but he  keeps dismissing it. I just really think he doesn't think I have a "problem".

[gloomy]

My husband doesnt understand either.  I tend not to bring up the issue with him, this place is my only salvation so I generally vent on here and at least everyone understands.  I suppose looking at it from a different perspective it must be very difficult for my husband to live with my mood swings and anxiety issues. I have given up t :fragend005:rying to make him understand

[sushi]

The fact that I have come seeking a place like this makes me realize that I am giving up on trying to make him understand. He can always tell when I'm slipping into my "anxiety state" and asks what's wrong... I can't bring myself to tell him because I already know what he'll say and I don't want to get into a fight over it. However, I don't want him to feel that I am "hiding" something from him. It's not like I want to.