how do i make her understand that.. I CAN'T HELP IT?!!!!!

[shari]

it's my ex. today she said i was driving her mad. Its the way i over-analyze things and get paranoid about things which haven't even happened etc. this causes me to be like a nervous wreck. I can see why I'm driving her mad but at the same time, i want her to understand I'm doing my best to control it (i'm being weened off Alprazolam which is horrible too). What can i say to her to make her see that I'm not just using my anxiety as an excuse for everything and that it is actually harder for me to deal with than it is for her?
I love her with all my heart and wouldn't rule out getting back together with her in the future. but it hurt so much when she said i was driving her mad..
Shari 

[ladyK]

It's really hard when someone we love doesn't understand.  It's very difficult for both parties involved.  Sometimes the one we love is not the one we should be with.  I hope you work it out.  Good luck.

take care, ladyK

[pippip]

I had the same thing with my gf. I over analyzed every thing she said and did. And was paranoid she wanted someone else or didnt love me. If she really loves you she;ll love every part of you including your mind/anxiety or depression.

[NightOwl]

I had the same thing with my gf. I over analyzed every thing she said and did. And was paranoid she wanted someone else or didnt love me. If she really loves you she;ll love every part of you including your mind/anxiety or depression.

I am pretty much exactly as that is worried.  I overanalyze my gf on everything and considering it is long distance it is far from easy.  I am lucky she even still cares about me at all.

[goestoeleven]

Try to get some documentation or something that explains anxiety to someone that doesn't have it. I know there are guides and brochures out there with information on dealing with a friend/significant other with anxiety.

I've been lucky in my relationship, in that my girlfriend has been extremely understanding and supportive. My best advice is to explain to her that you are predisposed to irrational worrying and that you have trouble controlling your thoughts. Most importantly, if you do love her, do as much as possible to show that you do, despite your worries and anxieties. A lot of people just can't seem to understand having so little control over one's thoughts. Talk it out. Be brutally honest, if you need to. It can hurt to talk about it, especially when the subject of anxiety is her, but if she learns to understand it, she can learn to deal with it, more so, at least.

[apple]

There is a anxiety wokbook in the medications and terapy section on this forum. 

Here's a shortcut:  http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,1168.0.html

Pages 22 and 23 have a letter you could start from on how to explain your anxiety to someone who doesnt know about this.  I dont know if it will help but I read this letter to certain family members that didnt get what I was going thru.

Hope it helps 

[shari]

wow, thankyou. thankyou all sooo much. She now has a much better understanding of hoe I feel and as a result, I actually feel less stressed and anxious. Two nights ago, she told me she's still in love with me.. so a lot's happening there lol. But thankyou all for the advice. This forum has helped me sooo much!!!! 
Shari xxxxxxx

[pippip]

Good to hear you're feeling better about it! :)

[goestoeleven]

Good to hear.

Every success story helps a bit.

[frozen_dinners]

Yah, I sometimes get paranoid about things.  All it takes is one person to tell me something and I start thinking about it a lot.  And I have to let it run its course before it dissipates.   

Glad things worked out and they understand more.