Girlfreind leaving for College / Please help me.

[valleyplayer42]

Alright, most of you guys know me from the Hypochondria section of this anxiety, as I am very familiar with it. But I have another problem, and my anxiety causes me to be a very emotional sensitive person. Whether its towards humans, animals, etc. In other words I get upset very easily. Here is my situation, and I would just like a little input from someone who has been in my situation or just from anyone.

 My girlfreind and I have been going out for a year and a half. I am 23 years old, she is 19. We live less than a mile from each other, I see her every day, we eat dinner together every evening, watch tv every night, and I sleep at her house 75% of the time.  Now she went to college (Monmouth) in NJ for a semester last year (4 months in the spring) and if i remember correctly that was very difficult on me, because of my anxiety I hated going down there (hour and a half away from my house). We got through it, but it was only one semester. Now im trying to think of how long it took me to get used to it, etc, and I just dont remember, I just remember she couldnt keep her car on school lot because she was a freshman. So I picked her up every or every other friday and brought her home monday mornings. And every time I dropped her off id practically cry leaving her school parking lot to drive home. Like I said, I tear up very easily. Needless to say we made it through that semester, with our ups and downs. Arguments about who shes talking to, whos this guy whos that guy (just freinds apparently). Umm, why didnt you answer my text last night, why didnt you say good night go me when you got back to your dorm after that party. Why is it taking her so long to response to my text if all she said shes doing is watching tv in her dorm. Just random stuff, that can get a boyfreind aggravated / jealous / etc. Im kind of insecure, my mom cheated on my dad years back and turned into a divorce, and it broke my dads heart to the extreme. 15 years later, he still talks sh** about her, and cant stand her. He will never forgive her for what she did. So I dont know if that is why im like that, but I can honestly say. I wish I wasnt like that, I wish I can just not worry about her going to college parties with other people that I dont know, and assume shes doing everything right like she says she is. Believe me, I do. Now there have been little things in the past that get me to where I am as well with my GF. Ive caught her texting her EX-Boyfreind a bunch of times, which I very angrily made that clear that if that ever happened again im out. And there was some other kid as well AFTER that, that I had words with, because I found some texts on her phone. This was probably 6 months and beyond ago. She is very honest with me now, and really doesnt talk to anyone. Now im not saying to her, "DONT HAVE GUY FREINDS". I'm saying, its not necessary to have to text them or talk to them everyday (especially if there college guy freinds) and your home for the summer. 90% of the freinds you make at school your not going to be freinds with after anyway.

 Anyway, I have to load up my car, and her car, and go to Monmouth on monday morning and get her into her dorm. Then leave. She said this year,  she wants to be down there on the weekends more so she can hang out with her freinds, and get the "college experience". To me that sounds like the death penalty to me. I hate college and I hate the college life. Im a blue collar guy, been working with steel and welding straight out of high school 6 years ago. Pack a lunch, wake up early, put on work boots, and head out to the shop to start welding... get an itchy face, have my skin start burning, then go into the Hypochondria section of this site and complain  . So to continue a little more of my situation. I am just very nervous about this because this is going to be 2 straight semesters, not the one. I really believe she will always be honest with me, and never cheat on me or do anything like that, but again theres always that thought in the back of the mind. It does give us our space between us and stuff like that, but its hard when were with each other everyday, to get our space. And when shes not here and I wake up in the morning at my house, those are the worst times, I cry alot in the morning. And at night before I go to sleep. When im at work, im kind of alright because im busy, but other than that, it really gets to me. I just hope I can make it through this......




Mark

[Bella Roma]

I know it's hard to be apart, but she needs to have the 'college experience'.  It is a great opportunity to grow as a person and get a degree.  The separation is hard for you (for her too, I'm sure), but it's important that she do this.  With that said, there are some things you can do to make it easier.  First, trust her... she is going to talk to other guys in class and become friends with some of them.  Jealousy turns most people off and your trust will make her respect and love you even more.  Also, if she's out having fun with friends... you should do the same!  Go out with some buddies from work or join a club sports team... anything.  Sitting at home will just make the time go slower.

As a side note, my college boyfriend graduated a year before I did, so we were apart for that year.  It was hard on both of us and we had a few moments that were tense, and one fight that I was sure would end in a break up.  I just kept telling myself that if it's meant to be, that it will work out.  Well... it did!  Ten years later we are married with two kids.

[valleyplayer42]

I bring her back tomorrow. I really am depressed, everything reminds me of her and it makes me sad. I'm going to come home from work everyday and be depressed she's not here to eat dinner with me, or go to a movie. I just mope around and hope she's having fun and misses me too. Its just sucks.