does anyone ever feel this? does anyone else AVOID doctors? help please!

[athinalev]

I am 36 years old. I have suffered from hypochondria on and off since childhood.As a child I spent 4 years obsessed with the fear that I was going blind. I never go to the doctor because im terrified of their confirming my fears. I think what triggered my latest bout with hypochondria was this past october. I had a fever and muscle aches. (most normal people would think flu/virus, right?) I actually went to the doctor on this occassion because i really felt lousy, and wasnt too worried that it was something serious, not until he told me he wanted to rule out lymphoma. Turned out it was just a virus. That was it! Ive had various symptoms coming and going since then, and feel vulnerable to every actastrophic diseas possible. For a while i was focused on severe dry mouth, which i no longer have, then i had a mole i must have scratched, it scabbed up and then disappeared.(thought it was skin cancer) And now I have on/off hoarseness and the feeling that my voice is really tired. It feels like tension in my throat area, and of course, like an idiot i look up my symptoms online, and think throat cancer,HPV, or parkinsons.I know that the more we focus on a symptom, the more intense the sensation is, but this tiredness in my voice feels so scary. has anyone ever had this? or a general discomfort in the throat.I know there is a common symptom of anxiety that makes people feel like theres a lump in their throat, but this doesnt feel exactly like that. And because im so scared of the doctors, i annoy everyone around me to reassure me, (as im doing right now) that i dont have cancer. please help me, i feel like i cant relax at all, as long as i stay preoccupied with this symptom. please help me if you can.