New to the forum - Seeking some comfort/support

[tofutti83]

Hey everyone,
I just joined the forum yesterday. I've struggled with anxiety and panic attacks off and on for years, and always seem to be able to kick it for certain lengths of time. However, these last 2 months it's come back full force. I got laid off from my job right before, so I believe that may have triggered it. Lately, I struggle with grocery stores and have panic attacks when I try to do my shopping, even when the store isn't that crowded. I'm also having trouble eating and often feel as though I'm choking on my food. In general, I've become a bit withdrawn and depressed and I feel a lot of shame for feeling this way. I also feel very lonely and jealous of people who don't experience this.

I haven't had attacks this strong in years. Today was particularly bad with two full blown attacks. I feel very alone and scared. The worst part is, I'm terrified of having an attack in the middle of a job interview, so my job hunting process is hurting because I'm scared to interview. Which is just perpetuating the cycle since my anxiety seems to be brought on by joblessness. I'm looking for some support and understanding. I'm going to make an appointment with a Psychologist tomorrow morning. I'd like to avoid meds but the yoga, deep breathing, and thinking myself out don't seem to be enough anymore. I've never had any regular therapy, so I'm hoping that will help me some before I move on to meds.

Any advice or positive words are appreciated. I need some encouragement.

[jane134]

Hi tofutti

Welcome to AZ. I am sure you will find lots of support and encouragement here 

From what you have written, it sounds pretty much like me when my anxiety first came about.

Please dont feel ashamed for feeling the way you go - there is nothing be ashamed about. I would strongly recommend that you look into therapy. I did CBT Therapy and i can't begin to tell you how much good it did for me. My only regret was not doing it sooner.

Welcome again - make sure to check out the chat room too. Lots of lovely folk in there to talk to 

[Albedo82]

Hey tofutti83, don't worry you are not alone in this. Panic attacks and agoraphobia can be one of the worst things a human being has to go through. I too have recently had panic attacks come back in full force after being free of them for about five years. I know for me it was because of being out of work for so long and being so uncertain about the future. I'm glad you're going to see a therapist, a good therapist will help provide you with the right tools to help you fight off panic and anxiety symptoms, and hopefully get you to the route of your problem. Don't be afraid of medication such as SSRI's. Yes they have some side effects but they really can help calm down your anxiety, and if your panic is really bad I would suggest maybe trying them out. Don't get advice on these drugs from your family doctor though. See a psychiatrist they usually have more knowledge of these drugs and will help you find which one is the right one for you. I've been on medication before and am on it again because I know when they start to work I can feel a lot better.
Don't stop going to yoga and don't stop deep breathing, these will help you out in the long run, also look into meditation that can also be helpful. People with anxiety usually suffer from dwelling on anticipations of the future, or negativity from our past. I find what helps me is trying to stay present your thoughts don't control you, you control your thoughts and you can as easily dismiss a thought as easily as you create one. It's not always easy but you can beat these periods of panic back.

[tofutti83]

Thank you so much for your replies. It helps to talk to others. When the anxiety strikes, it feels so real and isolating that it's hard to imagine it happening to anyone else. Losing my job was definitely the last staw, I felt the tension coming on for a few months, but that seemed to kick things into high gear. Unfortunately, my health insurance is a PPO and might not cover therapy but I'm going to try anyway, maybe I can work out a payment plan. Thanks again for your response.

[Albedo82]

I've gotten therapy off of PPO before.

[boundndetermined]

Welcome, and you are definitely in good company here!! :)

[markidee]

Do anything and everything available. Do not be alienated. the forum is a good place to start when you feel like you're the only person in any grocery store in the world with these feelings--you are not!

[Spike66]

Unexpected life change is a tuffy and certainly can kick up the anxiety. Fear not, everything will work out as it always has. Meds may help till you get through this tuff time. But remember this, there will be a time when you look back and wonder why this situation caused so much stress for you. You my even look back and be glad that this happened because it took you on a course to better,  dandier life.
My advise, see a Doc if you feel you need to. Live life one day at a time, one hour at a time if need be. Focus on all the good things in your life, you know you have some. Think about things that make you smile. Associate with friends that make you laugh. And know that life is to short and swift to worry every second about "what if I have a panic attack?" in this situation or that situation. Think instead "What if I get this job?" "What if I make more money than my last job?"
You are worthy. You will be ok. Things will work out. And you will not let your anxiety prevent you from getting what you want, no matter what.

[spud211]

I have been there and i am sure most people have felt or are feeling what you are going through.  It's all in the head.  I was afraid of job interviews because i would panic because i was dreading how i would freak out.  I have managed to overcome panic attacks and my anxiety disorder through relaxation and cognitive behavioral therapy.  Hang in there mate, you will beat this nasty condition.