Someone Please Talk To Me...Dying in Agony Because of Him

[SurrealFeline]

He left me again.
He's all I ever have in this world because of my severe panic disorder (which, over the years has succeeded in completely isolating me from the rest of the world) ... and now, for the fifth time, I'm pretty sure he's broken up with me.

I can't even explain in words really, what I feel...

Another poster on here described symptoms of constant retching, shivers and shakes, unable to FUNCTION or even breathe..
This is me.
I'm completely rooted to the spot.
It took all of my energy...ALL OF IT..to even get to the computer, and try to type this message.

I can't eat.
I can't sleep - sleep is nice for awhile, because you drift into that realm of forgetful dreaming, but..
...then you wake up, and it all HITS YOU like a ton of bricks.

That's when I cry uncontrollably, like I've lost my mind.
He won't speak to me.
He won't come to take care of me.

I'm so alone.
I've got no one, no friends...nothing.

What can I do to keep from dying or 0669 because of this suffering?....

I think I suffer WAY worse than normal people would, because of my panic disorder.......please someone help me...

[sixpack]

I'm sorry that you are feeling this way.

Anxeity can really play a number on you.  And sometimes we are our own worst enemies cuz we listen to all the rubbish BEASTY tells you.  I think you need to find a good counselor.  Someone who can give you some tools so that you can start facing your fears and working through them.  Doing nothing is not going to get you out of where you are.  I know it is scary and you feel like you cant do it.  But the thing is you have to do it, honey.  You are your own best asset in this.  Take the first step---call your primary doc and tell him/her what is going on and that you are ready to take your life back but you need a recommendation for a good therapist to get started.  I won't lie to you. It is going to be hard, but usually the best things you do for yourself are hard, at least in the beginning.  You are worth it.  Spend the time on yourself.   

[djomlacar]

Agree with sixpack,just want to add that not only that you HAVE to do that,you WANT to do that  Maybe you're not aware of that,maybe it's deep inside of you,but like all the other human beings you've got that instinct to survive.And we are all aware that dealing with anxiety in addition to everyday's problems is not an easy thing to do.And then there's that sweet sweat of being in a relationship.But no matter how corny it sounds,you will find someone who will love you and STAY with you for what you are.
Best wishes