I miss him.

[danihelxxx]

If you havent seen my previous posts let me firstly update.

Basically was with my ex for over 4 months, we were very much in Love even though it was long distance, (him London, me Manchester) it was working fine, saw him every weekend spent loads of time together inbetween as hes currently finished uni and trying to find a job, went away together was really loved up and both really happy which was agreed by all. Now before me i knew my ex had been promiscuous. but at 28 he told me he wanted something more.

Then a few weeks ago he had two important things going on for two weekends in a row, which i was fine with, then .. he cheated on me.
He told me infront of 2 of my best friends at a social gethering, and i was crushed, i didnt realise how bad one sentance could make me feel. I thought i was gonig to be sick.

He said it meant nothing and he was sorry, and regretted it, and he loved me and saw a future, so even though i was skeptical i was willing to except him back. Then i found out he was still texting the girl. I even let that slide stupidly. Then his friend rang him when we were together and told him to finish me and be single again (which he told me by the way.. are you seeing a pattern on how stupid this boy is)

Anyway he then says.... 'ive decided im not ready for us im too immature...ure better without me'' just like that and left..

I am crushed, i feel naiive and stupid, but also heartbroken and lost at the same time. I feel like my best friend has gone i cant eat properly i feel sick and nervous i keep thinking about all the happy things that happened with us. Hes completely gone.

I dont know what I did wrong he swore it wasnt me and he loves me but we cant get through this so he couldnt see the point in trying.
I feel worthless. He wanted to see me all the time and was even asking me to move in with him then all of a sudden this? in two weeks?! i cant understand it.

A mutual friend also told me he didnt tell any of his close friends and family what he had done, the only people who knew are my friends. and hes one friend who i knew on his side, so he basically looks the angel to his friends whilst mine are left to pick up the pieces.

Also hes been going on nights out and pulled a couple of people since we officially split up which was 6 days ago.

I cant beleive i feel lost in one way ive lost that ''perfect'' seeming relationship. in another he was a complete stranger!!

I know now long distance isnt for me but i feel damaged now, how can i trust another lad when things felt that good then.

Im really confused at the minute

Ive split up with exes before even been cheated on once but i was never as broken up as i am now..

[sixpack]

I'm so sorry.  I know that really hurts.  I, however, don't think you really miss HIM but the idea of him and a relationship.  He is NOT what really want or need him to be.  He is not the person you thought he was.  It seems, to me, that you are better off without him.  He does seem immature and you don't need that.

[danihelxxx]

Yeh i know im better off without, but its the way i feel i cant stand  it i feel so ill.
I know itll go away evetually, but right now im lost and i dont like feeling this low. Plus i cant get rid of thinking about how much fun we had its doing my head in  xx

[charlie1]

people like him will always have that sort of effect on women, I'd say. He sounds flamboyant, entertaining, charismatic and charming, but because he gets women so easily, he never really has to worry about solitude or loneliness. He probably is a committment-phobe and has his own issues, so you're probably better off without him, though it won't necessarily feel that way, as you were the one that was left. It's easy and natural to look at what you had through rose-tinted spectacles. I was with a female equivalent of your ex for 5 years, over a decade ago, and I've still never met a woman that I found as ideal for me, as I believed she was. The type of person you are attracted to,  may reveal more about yourself , which you might not agree with or like to face, but certainly in my case, I think it's because I'm a committment-phobe myself, fearing failure or losing the person again or not being capable of long-term stuff. The best way of healing, I believe, is to carry on your life as normal, don't feel humiliated and hopefully meet the person that is right for you. Good luck and I'm sorry this has happened to you

[danihelxxx]

Thanks for saying that, he was a charmer no doubt about it, but he also told me things he had never told anyne else. And said hed never been so in love i genuinly believed him, and now he just doesnt care how can a person change that quickly? i just dont understand it. Im here feeling like im rotting whilst hes out carrying on as if we never happened i just feel on the edge of tears all the time. Just sat here in work now. and a tear rolled down my face. i feel so sad.

[elle123]

I just had to post because I was once in your position. I was 25 and crazy in love with someone and we were even living together. I went to work one day and came home and he was gone (with my Playstation and Rent money no less). Just a note on the counter. I was devastated. Crushed. It was awful. I too couldnt eat or sleep. It was just like being numb to everything. Now I look back and see it differently. I spent a long time after that hurting and wanting so badly to meet someone else and be in love. I wasted so much time hoping for that instead of enjoying those days. Eventually I did meet my husband and honestly he is so much more than I ever couldve dreamed of. It was destiny that I would meet him and get married and celebrate the birth of our little boy this year. My only regret is not enjoying those times alone when I was given an opportunity to really get to know myself and enjoy my life for me. Those times alone are so important. They are a gift.
And you know what, 7 years later I received an email from that guy. At that time I was engaged, just bought my first home and had a great job. He was still the same loser he was years before and I actually felt sorry for him because I think at that time he began to realize that everything he did left him lonely and broke and that anything he could have had he threw away. People like that never change. The good news is that your life goes on, the hurt goes away and you can now bloom into the person you are meant to be while the guy that hurt you will always just be the guy he is right now. Hugs to you. Dont worry I promise it does get better.