Scary/Bad Thoughts!!!

[sunnysankey13]

Relax. This is completely normal for someone with OCD.  Many of us get violent thoughts. Have you ever read Devil in the Details? It's a great book about a woman with OCD. She talks about getting scary thoughts about killing her mother and so she avoids sharp objects. She says she loves her mother and doesn't want to hurt her and yet she is afraid that she will. She states in the book that she later found out that OCD people are the least likley people to carry out these violent thoughts. Remember, these ARE just thoughts. Maybe they are brought on by anger, or maybe they come out of nowhere, but you will not hurt your daughter. Don't feel ashamed for these thoughts either. They are a common obstacle for people like us.

[Smashleyx10]

Hello I'm new to this site, saw everyone's comments on here and thought wow I'm not alone. I get ba thoughts that I'm going to hurt people closest to me. It's been eating at me for a while. I sometimes get scared I'm going to do it in my sleep. I have no reason to be like this I have an awesome family and boyfriend. I feel like it might be e cause my x bf got in a serious car accident and my best friend was killed and my bf blamed me because I made them come back to my house quick before going out. Maybe those 10 mins I wasted could've prevented the accident. He woul also get very physical and violent with me and hit me. My bf now is amazing tho!!! I don't get it :'-( please help

[jax79]

Your not alone! I've also had these horrible thoughts knowing I would NEVER do anything to harm my children but the thought alone makes it much more worse. Why would I think those things I love my children more than anything in the world. Then the WHAT IF'S come in and that's when I really start to freak out. I cant hear about mothers actually harming their children because then the what if's come and I start to think I have those horrible thoughts what if I do it and so on and so forth I then get depressed I don't eat and I cry and cry and cry! I would NEVER do anything to harm my kids and It use to be worse but now when I have those thoughts I laugh and say YEA OK your really gonna think that or do that and I find it helps! Also when I think those horrible intrusive thoughts I think of their smiles and how much they make me laugh  and this also helps. What techniques do you use to help with these horrible intrusive thoughts?

[danibabes]

This is definitely a difficult thing to deal with. Id never even heard of intrusive thoughts before my anxiety and during my first time with therapy. They scared me, and sometimes still scare me, so bad. I was a nervous wreck. I was scared to use a pair of scissors or forks or ANYTHING. Just because I was terrified what my "crazyness" would cause me to do. This still happens occasionally, though it has gotten better. Im trying to fi everything without the help of meds if I can do it. Id say its a good idea to get therapy and try to help yourself. I bet it will fade.

[Pippy187]

You folks are not alone! I deal with obsessive intrusive thoughts from time to time... They range from self harm thoughts to harming my beautiful and lovely girlfriend... While I know they're just thoughts and I know I will never act on them, they are consuming and they make you feel so off and out of it! I currently am in therapy and find it helps... I was afraid to touch rope, knives and firearms, I would also find it hard to look my girlfriend in the eye afraid she would see my thoughts and I felt guilty for having them.  It is very common for humans to have messed up thoughts especially if you deal with depression / anxiety, these seem to heighten the severity of the thoughts.  A few things I do is: I begin with distraction, I pop on the TV or a video game, come on to the net and this site is especially helpful.  I write my thoughts down as scary as they are you should expose yourself to them just to know they're only thoughts. I exercise and stretch a lot.  I do also have wonderful support and tell my girlfriend when I'm having an off day.  Feel free to reach out if you need to chat anyone :)

[JunoX]

I have these types of thoughts all of the time. I've had OCD my entire life and I am not in medication. I recently had a major battle with unwanted, intrusive and disturbing thoughts brought in by a book I had been reading. I tried to skip over the violent content but it was too late, I had already read the first few sentences before i realized where it was going.

My thoughts are always about violence perpetrated to children or animals and not by me, but by stories of cruelty on the news, etc. I never fear I would do any of these things but what others have done, whether real or made up, constantly play over and over in my head. The imagery is extremely disturbing.

The last time I grappled with this, a few days ago, it was a living hell to be in my mind. It is so difficult to make this type of thing stop. I keep reminding myself its just thoughts, they aren't real, they aren't happening and my sick mind is just tormenting me. If I ignore it will go away but the more I try to avoid the thought, the more persist ant it gets so I found a rather unique way of combating them but I have no idea how well it would work for others. I know it is not an instant fix, even for me, I have to try it a few times before it kicks in but it eventually does.

Here is what I do. I do not try to stop the disturbing thought. Running away from it doesn't work, it makes it worse. Sort of like "forbidden fruit" and your mind will rebel against you more. I let them come but I develop a "twist" to them. For example, the child in my thoughts can not be harmed because every time my mind plays a scene where violence will befall the child or animal, they either dematerialize or can not be captured, thereby defusing the thought process and the imagery can not continue to play out. Maybe the abusers hands suddenly disappear or they fall through a trap door. I know it sounds weird but it works, that's the craziest part of it. It actually works. Once you play the twist thought several times in your head, whenever the intrusive thought tries to occur, it magically disappears. The thought comes less and less because it has lost its grip on you. Its intended purpose of shocking or disturbing you has been eliminated.

This also works if you imagine a big giant stop sign in your head every time the thought tries to emerge but I find its more difficult to do for persist ant ones. Its better to let them play out and twist them.

[jimolee]

Hi, I've struggled w/ this off and on. It  seems that either I'm in control of the thoughts or when I get extremly stressed they control me. Around Thanksgiving, boom they came back and I've been fighting them since. I'm going back to counseling soon. This time I am using positive thoughts every time it happens and yes it's work! It's been an extreme rollercoaster as of late but it does eventually get back to somewhat normal and I look forward to that. They are irrational thoughts I know but I completly understand how you all feel. It sucks. It's good to find this site and it has helped alot. Hang in there and let's all share techniques or anything that can help us here.