feeling so down right now due to sexual frustration

[dvlsfan30]

i know its not too appropriate for here but i dont know where else i could post online
im 21 now and have been having trouble with my girlfriend
we had our first time and as embarasing as it is im stressing out over lasting about 4 minutes and barely able to "keep it up". i am afraid its due to all the pornography ever since i was a kid and now am afraid i have some sort of ed. its embarresing me and stressing me out. im not sure what i can due because this is adding to my anxiety from life.

if theres anyone who can help me it would be greatly appreciated. i feel like i need to avoid my girlfriend til it gets all figured out.

[surfmonkey]

Hello there. I think avoiding her in any way will not help you.have you ever explained how you feel about it? its not easy to talk about I'm sure. If your very attracted to her then that could be why you are releasing so quickly. If you are very aware that your having difficulty it could be adding pressure to you and maybe that is why it is hard for you?

[dvlsfan30]

i havent yet
its starting to get to me
i have been extremly tired from working so much which i figured was one of the problems i wasnt into it and was having trouble "keeping it up"
but all the masturbation from a young kid i feel has screwed me over on top of all of it.

its driving me crazy because now i think i have some sort of ed.
i havent really been stressing much up until now.

[surfmonkey]

Stress on the body certainly won't help you keep it up. You need a way to manage all the stresses and the emotions. Things like that don't belong in intimacy. If you keep telling yourself that something is wrong with you then its adding more stress!

[dvlsfan30]

thnk you for the quick responses monkey i appreciate it

im trying my best so far.
it seems like premature ejaculation is going to be a problem too. i feel as if im going to have every problem with sex and i should avoid it but i dont want to. its embarresing to me and im sure my girlfriend doesnt like it much either.

[surfmonkey]

Your so very welcome. I had a boyfriend who use to have the same problem. Its either from stresses or possibly its something a dr can better explain. Have you tried to see one? I know its hard because its a sensitive subject. When you feel like you need to please your gf but you feel like you aren't then that adds on so much. Try not to feel pressured. That's why I say you should talk to her and see if this can be figured out together. she should be understanding because this is very common. I am not a man but in high school I had so many guy friends with the issue.

[Bunglefever]

Masturbation and pornography are not the culprits. Both can give you and your partner insights to what you/her like. You always have to communicate with your partner, even during sex. Let her know what feels reeeeeally good. And exploring by yourself can save you the embarrasment of trying something with her you really don't like lol.

 Masturbation releases stress and pornography can give you ideas. But with porn you can overdo it, and when you realize your gf isn't the girl in those videos you watched, you start to disassociate with her sexually a little bit and subconsciously you are not fulfilled. Trust me, I went through that. Take some time away from porn, explore your likes by yourself and really get into your sex.

[dvlsfan30]

i understand. i let things get to me too easily and have been so weak against stress
now im bugging out too on top of all this that im afraid when i was feeling her up, a couple times i checked to make sure the condom was still on and checked to make sure no semen leaked out i might have got her pregnant from oral sex.
im freaking out because of all this and on top of work. it seems like my life is at an all time low right now. im afraid i am going to have a kid if shes not on the pill.

[surfmonkey]

How would she get pregnant from oral sex? Lol that's not possible.

[dvlsfan30]

sorry i just noticed that.

after i ejaculated i was checking to make sure nothing leaked out and it was probably excess lube on my fingers but i continued feeling her up which is why it is making me nervous that i dont want her to get pregnant. it just all is messing with me and im thinking the worst.

[surfmonkey]

Don't quote me on this but I have "heard" that the sperm does lose purpose after it has been exposed to the air for a while. If you did so happen to leak inside her then yes that's a different story. She should get checked in case!

[Cpt_Stunning]

Having sex can always result in the possibility of pregnancy, which is why I don't have sex & I'm 35. But, it sounds likeyou're stressing yourself out, if the condom does split, there's always the morning after pill, I've got a hang-up about sex , I just can't. Sorry, won't go on.

[Bama21]

i havent yet
 i have been extremly tired from working so much which i figured was one of the problems i wasnt into it and was having trouble "keeping it up"
but all the masturbation from a young kid i feel has screwed me over on top of all of it.

 

Nah...that's not it.  You're just thinking about it too much. 

The first time I ever attempted to have sex was when I was 16.  I couldn't get it up because I was nervous more than turned on.  After that, whenever I was getting ready to do the deed, I would worry about it and, inevitably, I'd lose it. 

I would definitely recommend talking to your woman about it.  If she's worth dating, she'll be understanding about it.  Once you realize that she doesn't care, you can relax and do what you need to do. 

Oh...and don't fret over lasting "4 minutes".  You can deal with that.  There are some techniques out there that I'm sure you can read up on to help with that.  We've all had that problem.

[surfmonkey]

Wonderfully said! Also if your concerned about it still try pleasing her first. Girls love attention! Then when you see that she's pleased so far it may help you to relax. If you feel your not going to last then maybe stop and please her in another way and then continue again. Girls also like to be teased. Its a great for win for you both! I hope you fixed this anxiety!

[dvlsfan30]

im back with an update
still hasnt happened and im stil having the same thoughts. im not sure if its just anxiety because i could even barely keep my mind on my gf thinking about it or just thinking i have some e.d. which is making me nervous

im not sure what to do get these thoughts out of my mind. im so embarresed and my gf i can tell is getting frustrated i havent really made any attempt. help please

[dvlsfan30]

anyone?? its so frustrating. im going to work depressed today not knowing some solutions. its getting in my head and making me crazy.

[dvlsfan30]

she wants me to go over tonight..im wondering if i should save myself the embarassment and if i tell heri cant go see what happens. today is a bad day already
i havent been thinking about anything beside that

heres another post about my story
http://www.************.com/boards/showthread.php?t=771001 it wont show the link but its 0172 0538 and the rest

[anxiouskathie]

I've actually read your post a couple of times before deciding to respond........May I give you a woman's point of view?  It's not always the 'act' of sex that feels the best to us.....it's knowing that our partner is caring how we feel, that we are being pleased, and that we are loved.....it's not so much about "oh my gosh, his thing is big" or "oh my gosh, he can last forever"....seriously, it's about "oh my gosh, that man cares about what makes me feel good and he took the time to do it".  That being said, don't worry about keeping it up, worry about pleasing your partner....once that happens and you see that you are making her happy, I'm sure that your penis will react to this and will begin to see happier times as well.....good luck.....

[slim]

0213 dylan...this happens to my boyfriend and i think he feels reely ashamed and hes not sed anything to me which is fustrating me even more its making me feel self concious about my self bc iv never reely had dis problem wid any guy b4 im not bothered dat he doesnt last so long or dat he cnt stay hard its jus wen it happens he freaks out and says he has to go?? makes me feel awkward and wonderin if its me...