Help Please

[jay1234]

Hello Everyone,

I just came across this website today as I was doing some internet research on anxiety disorders.  I am currently struggling to come to terms with the fact that I have a social anxiety disorder.  I am 19 years old and consider myself to be fairly social and feel that I hide the disorder very well.  However, I am constantly troubled with fears and worries about how people view me and how I should act.  From what I have read it is normal to realize that your fears are irrational, but I just cannot prevent them.  The reason i joined this forum is because today was an especially troubling day, in which I felt incredibly depressed and confused.  I have never really talked to anyone about how I really feel because I am afraid to.  I was tempted to call my mother and tell her today because I felt so sad but cannot bring myself to do it.  All i really want is to be myself but i find it so hard to do that.  Any help or comments would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

[lt33]

Hi Jay,

I think everybody worries about that from time to time, and there are periods in which this happens more than others, so maybe you shouldn't stress about it by thinking of it as an anxiety disorder for now.
Yet you should keep it under surveillance so you can take some action if it's not just a self-doubt phase (going through a bit of an "identity crisis" is actually healthy at some life stages) and it becomes a problem.
Also, check if there are some personal issues unresolved. If there are and it becomes a problem, or if it's a problem already, seeking professional help would be wise, the sooner you'd tackle it, the sooner it would be sorted. See if there's something about that you'd like to talk further, there's lots of good advice here, people who can help you coming to terms with that.

Good luck, and welcome to the forum!,

lenny

[jay1234]

Thanks for replying,

What you said has actually made me feel better and Im not sure but think you may be right in that it is not really a disorder.  For some reason I found myself feeling extremly depressed this afternoon and may have over reacted, however this is not the first time I have felt that down and finally decided to try and seek some advice.  I consider myself a fairly normal person, but have trouble sometimes in some social situations.  I tend to over-think things and try too hard to impress and find myself worrying about conversations that are far in the future.  Now that I have been giving this some hard thought I feel this is a condition that I created when i was younger by being overly self conscious and trying too hard to be perfect and liked by everyone.  I am fairly confident that this is what has caused my constant doubt and fear and lack of self confidence, so this gives me hope that it is a problem that I can correct in the future.  Thanks again for your help, and any more advice on how I can help with my worrying and confidence would be greatly appreciated.

Jay

[apple]

Write a list of your positive perks and abilities.  Look in a mirror and say them out loud.  I found this to help my self confidence as it is easy to think about your negatives.  I used to write a few things down of what I would talk about to someone, before I talked to them.  It helped me feel good that I had something to say...I wasnt so insecure.  The hardest thing to drill in my head was that people dont actually scrutinize you like you think.  Many people feel the same way you do.  And its important to understand that everyone has different personalities.  Which means you will not click with EVERYONE.  So relax and enjoy the people you do click with.

Hope this helps