My daughter's good friend's dad committed *******. Need advice!

[eduk8or]

My daughter just turned 13 in May and will be going in to 8th grade in the fall.  She has 3 very close friends and one of the girls' dad committed 0119 on Sunday.  I haven't really ever talked to my daughter about this topic yet and now it is very close to home for her.  Any ideas on how I should start the discussion or what I should say?  Obviously this man was in a lot of pain to take his own life, but at the same time,  I don't want to give her the impression that doing that is o.k.  Help!

[shygirl26]

I was your daughter's age when I was in almost the same situation, and also, one of my good friends committed 0119 in my senior year of high school. Ask her how she feels. Tell her that what she feels is normal and will take time to get over. I would say that sometimes people are in such pain that they feel like it is the only way out, but look at how it affects their family and friends. Try to be gentle with her -- if she doesn't want to talk about it, fine, but just let her know that things will be ok. My parents said all that to me and it helped so much. Just let her know you're there for her to talk to if she wants 

[FeelingOptimistic]

Yikes educ8or!

My first thought is...that poor man,he must have been suffering terribly and felt he had no way out.  May he rest in peace.

I was thinking, if it were me, I wouldn't know how to handle it the right way so I'd take my daughter to my counselor who helped me alot.  It's hard to wrap your head around, even as an adult. 

Take care!
Feeling Optimistic

[sixpack]

we had two neighbors commit ******* one year apart.  One was our next door neighbor.  We had to explain it to the kids because cops and all were in our front yard.  The wife was screaming in our yard.  So as tough as it was, we sat our kids down and explained to them, age appropriately, what had happened---that he was thinking incorrectly and very sad and he thought this was the way to help him and his family.  Again we explained that his thinking was wrong.  We then explained to our kids thaat we would never do anything like that.  This was in 2004.  Our kids were---17, 11, 7,6, 3, 1.

*edit*  my kids ages wrong  17, 9, 7,6,3,1

My son, the 9yr old, asked to go to the funeral.  He used to play with their eldest son

[eduk8or]

Thanks for the advice guys!  Right now my daughter is at camp, but gets home tomorrow, so I have a bit of time to think about what I want to say.  Sheesh, I wish there was a handbook for raising kids!   

[surfmonkey]

Sixpack what you said is perfect! I'm so sorry to hear that your child is going through this.the amount of pain someone feels when they do that is unspeakable. You can't comprehend that kind of pain. Life is an amazing but to win you must finnish it through! If you cheat(commit 0119) then you'll be kicked out of the game in itself. You won't pass go or collect 200dollars. I'm so sorry your in this position. Ill keep you both in my prayers tonight