Intrusive thoughts 'pure O'

[eduk8or]

shaznay,

OCD always finds your worst fear to torment you with.  The relationship one  of not loving someone is a coomon form of OCD as is being gay.  I think I have a pretty good idea of what your latest one is even though you don't say it and this is also a very common form of OCD.  You have OCD and while that sucks in itself, you are NOT what it is telling you.  I posted on a different thread top you about this, so I won't re-write it all here, but take heart in that this IS just an anxiety disorder and with work and effort, you can get better.

[ohmama222]

After this long Stinky butt journey...I am starting to see a glimmer of light.  I have been on 5.0 of Abilify for a week and my thoughts are slowing down and don't seem to be tormenting me as much, even in the mornings, where it's the absolute worst.  I am still on the Paxil(don't ask me why).  The doc's don't want to try to many meds at once in case of side effects.  They won't know from what med. they are from.  I also found an awesome psychologist that specializes in OCD and Anxiety disorders.  Soooo...I guess we are going to start the CBT therapy.  I am nervous but it must be done.  He was shocked at how much I knew about all this stuff...lol.  Sort of sad but at least I am trying to educate myself. 

All the people out there that have Pure O.  It got so bad for me and I am living proof it does get better so hang in there and never lose Hope!!!

[haileennevansmommy]

Hey im sorry you are feeling helpless ... i feel this way daily also.. with my thoughts. Im not sure what the stars are in ur post.. but i found this article extremely helpful

http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson1.php

[eduk8or]

ohmama,

I'm glad things seem to be coming together for you!  How do you feel on the Abilify?  My doctor recommended that to me too, but I was too afraid to take it.  Do you find it is helping?  How about the CBT?  Have you started it yet?

[ohmama222]

It really has helped.  I take 5 mg.  Main side effect is muscle weekness.  It is fairly bothersome.  I am lowering my dose to 2.5 per doc.  We will see what happens.  How are you doing on your Luvox?  I went back to work today.  What a zoo...lol.  I am overall feeling better but not 100% yet.  I do recommend the Abilify to at least try for a week.  I take it at night as sometimes it makes makes me a little groggy but then i wake up a few hours later and have a hard time falling back to sleep.  )

[eduk8or]

It is awesome to hear you are back to work and things seem to be getting back on track!  I am about the same on the Luvox as I was on the Paxil.  I feel o.k. most of the time, but still have days where anxiety waves hit me.  I try to just work through them.  Apparently there is no magic pill out there.  Are you still taking the klonopin?  How is that working for you? 

[ohmama222]

The klonopin at .50 didn't do anything at all.  I decided not to take it since I would have to take a pretty high dose to get it to work.  My psychologist told me that Antidepressants help with IT's somewhat but there is still a lot of break through as you mentioned.  He said Anxiety comes from a different part of the brain.  Not sure what to think about what he said.  I am starting the CBT this week.  It should be interesting and probably hard too.  Maybe you should try the abilify.  It really has made a difference for me.

[eduk8or]

I'm glad to hear you found a med that works for you!  You will have to let me know if you continue to like it after you've bee on it for a while.  CBT is supposed to really work well, but you do have to work at it and make it a habit.  Like a new exercise routine, you vow to stick to it at first, but then sometimes you get off track.  :)  I really should get back to doing some.  Let me know which techniques you like and what works for you.  From where you were a few weeks ago, you are doing great!  Keep it up!

[ohmama222]

Thanks for all your support Eduk8or!!  You have always been there for me!!!   I am doing so much better.  I am not sure how long I will take the Abilify.  We just lowered the doze and I am still having sleeping problems at nite.  I bet your starting up at work again soon!!  Good luck with the New School Year.

[eduk8or]

Thanks ohmama.  Teachers here (I'm in WI) start August 26th and kids start Sept. 1.  Seems like the summer just flew by!!  I'm looking forward to getting in to the school year- the first weeks are always the hardest!  Hope you are continuing to do well.  : )

[louloubell72]

Hi guys 
I hope you guys are doing ok? How are things?  I am presently ending CBT as my time is up  I just hope i have learnt enough and i am strong enough to work on my own.  I was going to come off meds too as i did not realise how addictive my medication was.  I am considering another child  but i am not sure as i am scared i will go rock bottom again.  The thing is, i cannot have another child whilst on the meds as it can damage the baby  .Such huge decisions to make.  I am going to stay on the meds for a while as i think finishing therapy and meds at the same time might be too much.

Eduk8or..You have had cbt haven't you? If yes, did you find you continued to work on your own after?

Ohmama222 you sound like you are doing really well  I hope everything goes well for you

Louise
x 

[eduk8or]

louloubell,

Good to hear from you!  Things are going better for you?  Yes, I did do cbt the frist time I had really bad anxiety.  I did practice some of the things for quite a while and then just kinda stopped.  I am the worst when it comes to starting things and sticking to them!  Whenever I start a diet or an exercise routine or anything, I am really gung ho at first and then it just kind of fizzles out.  I did do some of the cbt techniques when my anxiety was really high this time too and they helped, but I am afraid to say I haven't been doing them much lately.  : (  Which one(s) do you find work best for you?

Ohmama,

How are you doing?  Are you still taking the Abilify?  If so, are you still liking it or are you still having sleep problems?  How is the cbt going for you?

 

[louloubell72]

I find mindfulness helpful at the moment.  Whenever i have a ocd type of thought i try to watch the thought and say to myself i am having anxious thoughts about.......
This is ok for me as i cannot really say all the four steps from that book 'brainlock' as i tend to get caught up in the right technique  and panic that i am not doing it right.
I am like you though, i find it hard to stick with things so i need to work really hard with this as i do not want to go back there ever again .  I still have the thoughts but what really helped me recently was that i actually accepted it was ocd.  Sounds mad but i could not accept this as i had not had this diagnoses before.  I thought i was dying again  with my old buddy the liver.  I convinced the Dr to test me again! She was reluctant as she did not want to collude with me but i guess she had no choice as i am pretty convincing  .  I thought, this time i am sure it will show i have liver damage.  I could see myself turning yellow and i checked my eyes about 50 times a day and constantly looked at my skin in different lights and asked everyone i knew if i was more yellow than before  .  To my absolute amazement my tests came back better than in the last ten years!  So i thought, have they got the right results? Maybe the test went wrong?  And then i see what i was doing!  Nothing external would convince me of anything! i had to see this was not normal and i was in fact healthy  therefore my mind is capable of such tricks that feel soooooooooooo real but it is all crap!  Trust me i am not over this but i think i have turned a corner  I just hope i will now learn to see my real problems and work on them rather than my imaginary(so to speak) problems.

How are you Eduk8or??       

[eduk8or]

louloubell,

I am o.k.  I return to school tomorrow after summer break here.  The students start back next Wed (Sept 1).  In July, I weaned off the Paxil I was taking to try a different SSRI, fluvoxamine (Luvox).  It started out o.k., but I have been having some high anxiety lately (mostly in the mornings) and one side effect that I just really don't like.  I get really irritated by things that never used to really bother me and it gets to the point where it feels like my head is going to explode.  I definitely do not like this feeling!  I'm not sure if it is from the Paxil wothdrawal or if it is a side effect of the fluvoxamine.  My psychiatrist suggested I add a small dose of Abilify (2.5mg), but I am afraid to do this...  so, the battle continues!  It is really good to hear that you seem to be doing better-good for you!!

[louloubell72]

  Sorry to hear you are not feeling so good.  What is the Abilify?  Maybe if it will help you for a bit? Maybe these new tablets do not agree with you?  Some make different people feel more anxious and others make the same people more relaxed.  Maybe try a different one?  Have you been on sertraline before?  Thats what i take and it is for ocd and depression.  Higher dose for ocd.  I have found this good.

Yes, i am doing better.  Still have a long way to go as i still have intrusive thoughts and images but i guess its a bit like back ground noise to me.  I am just trying to ignore it and remind myself its all anxiety and not real.  Oh the joys of all this ay?

I hope you are feeling better now you are back at school? Hopefully concentrate your mind a bit.

x

[ohmama222]

Abilify has changed my life for the better.  I went down to 2.5 along with our friend 30 mg Paxil and am feeling pretty good.  I am on my 3rd week back at work. Not always the greatest days but I am there.  I hope the start of school is going good and I really do recommend trying it. The side effects are minimal except for slight insomnia but that has been better lately.  I haven't started the CBT yet but another few weeks of therapy and we will be doing it.  I am pretty scared to bring this all the the fore front but if I want to rid myself I have to get some new techniques.  I don't have the intrusive thoughts anymore so how CBT will help right now is a mystery.

[eduk8or]

louloubell,

Abilify is an atypical antipsychotic in the same class as Seroquel and others.  It is perscribed as an "add on" to an SSRI if an SSRI alone doesn't seem to do the trick.  Do they have it in your country?  I have been better since starting back to school- I don't have so much time to focus on my self and have tons of other things I need to do, so maybe that's a good thing.  : )  It is great to hear that you seem to be doing well!

ohmama,

It's good to hear a positive about a medication when you usually only hear about the negatives.  My psych perscribed 2.5 mgs of Abilify for me and I picked it up, but haven't started it yet.  I don't know why it has me so freaked out!  I am really glad it is working for you!  CBT will help you to deal with the intrusive thoughts so that one day if you decide to go off medication and they come back, you have another way to handle/ look at the thoughts and maybe won't have to go on medication again.  It's another tool to add to the toolbox in fighting anxiety, I guess.  3 weeks back at work is great!  Hang in there, you are doing so much better than a couple months ago- consider that a success!

[stressedgal25]

Hi,
I have terrible intrusive thoughts that are scaring me to death! Does this mean I am going crazy?
They seem to be there quite a bit and make me so anxious like I am about to have a panic attack. My stomach churns, muscles tense, feel sick, like I want to run out the house. I'm terrifed I'm going to lose everything and yet everyone tells me that I'm fine.

[eduk8or]

stressed,

Intrusive thoughts are typically part of an anxiety disorder and do not mean you are "going crazy".  If you haven't spoken to a therapist or doctor about this, it may be time to do so.  They can give you options on how to best deal with your thoughts and discuss whether you may want to try medication or not.

[stressedgal25]

Hi eduk8or,
Thanks for your replies :) I was feeling particulary bad last night but am a little brighter today. I have spoken to a doc about it and I am on 20mg Cipralex for my GAD disorder. I went a couple of years feeling pretty good and then 'bang' its just flared right up again with these intrusive thoughts. Hopefully I can get back to my old self again soon, this forum certainly helps!

[ohmama222]

How are you feeling these last few days.  I too have suffered from non stop intrusive thoughts.  Hang in there!!  It does get better.  I am living proof.  I had them non-stop not too long ago and 1 month later feel better than I have in a couple of years.  Listen too your doctors and take your meds and eventually the meds will kick in and you will slowly start getting that appetite back and the sick feeling in your gut will go away.

[eduk8or]

ohmama,

So glad to hear you are doing so well!  Yay for you!  Besides the medication, how has the therapy been going?  How often do you see someone?  Learn anything that you find particularly useful?

stressed,

I replied to a post you had on a different thread with some self-help books.  Hope you are feeling a bit better this weekend.  : )

[ohmama222]

Hi Eduk8or,  I have been going once a week.  Right now he has me writing down triggers and the ways i deal with them by avoidance etc.. but we haven't really gotten into anything real deep yet.  I kind of feel like I don't want to dredge everything back up but I guess it's supposed to help in the end.  Thanks for asking.  How are you doing since work started?

[eduk8or]

So far, so good.  I am super busy at work so I don't really even have time to think about being anxious.  I am wiped out by the time I get home and after dinner and homework with my kids, feel like I could fall asleep by 7!  Once we get used to the routine, I'm sure it won't seem so hectic.  Took a nap yesterday, which felt great!  : )