Generalised and relationship anxiety

[yards1]

Hello, I have suffered from anxiety now for 3 years.  In 07, I split from my wife of 19 years, I walked out with virtually nothing signing the house and contents over to my wife.  I did this because I didn't want my kids uprooted from their house as they were in important school years.  Since this time I've been in two relationships.  The 1st one failed because of my constant anxiety about being in a relationship.  It's hard to explain, it is just a fear that grips me and I cannot overcome it.  Well after 4 try's, I ended the relationship in Dec 09.  In April 2010 I re-connected with a girl who I went to primary school with (I'm Australian)  In April this year we started seeing each other.  About a month into our relationship, my relationship anxiety issues have returned.  I do not want to lose this girl as she is such a beautiful person.  I love her and she loves me.  I have been on & off medication (Mirtazapine) for 2 and a half years which I know is not the right thing to do to my body & brain.  My anxiety is not just about relationships but impacts in other area's of my life now.  I now have social anxiety as well.  Can anybody out there give me any idea's on what to do.  I don't want to lose this great girl, but I'm afraid the anxiety is killing the relationship.  I am currently having hypnosis therapy which I hope might help.  I have just started taking 15mg of mirtazapine again, any suggestions please.

[FeelingOptimistic]

Hi yards and welcome!

Have you seen the post "Self Soothing Adivce from a Doctor"?  Excellent resource!

I have also seen a counselor, read books and the info in the anxiety folder here, tried meds, and CBT.  Those have all helped me.

Glad you are here- there's a lot to learn!

Feeling Optimistic

[Pixels]

I think first of all you should let her know about your problems, if she doesn't know already.
It might be uncomfortable but it's better than keeping it to yourself and lashing out unexpectedly.

Aside from that I can't give you much more advice. It's obviously something you've been struggling with for a long time.
I hope your medication and therapies work out!